a fifo wife {fifo life: happy marriage tip five: Sex. Just do it.}

I have been dancing around this no brainer tip since god knows when because basically until recently, I hated talking about sex out loud in public, with people I didn’t know without any Vodka Collins in my belly. Talking about sex it makes me feel uncomfortable (men seem to be able to chat about it freely but women can’t we become trollops apparently or worse. Seriously those words have been said to me) Or it did but it’s a bit like ripping off a band aid and since talking about here  I’m on a roll. It’s like saying your first swear word when you were a kid. I remember the first time I said the word sh*t. I was 11 years old late bloomer to some I know (I may be able to say it but I still cant right it down) I said it once after crashing my bike at my friends Paula’s house and never stopped. It now seems to be my word of choice for most situations.

So since I have been doing a lot of tip toeing around the topic of sex humming and ha-ing about whether to publish this or not, it’s now been a long time since I have done a marriage/relationship tip so let’s do a little revision shall we?

Tip one: boast about your partner and let them hear on purpose. Read more about that here.

Tip two: go to bed angry. There is no point fighting when you’re tired and confused. Read more about that here.

Tip three: know who to vent to. If you’re a man vent to your mates. If you’re a woman vent to his mother. Both of you should really vent to each other. Read more about that here.

Tip Four: create boundaries no what you can expect from each other. Read more about that here.

This brings us to happy marriage/ relationship tip five: Sex. Just do it.

Simple. It doesn’t have to be hotel sex every night (don’t you agree that has to be some of the best sex you have ever had) but sex. Any sex. Oral (dare I say it) or likewise. He likes you. You like him. Just do it. Yes I know you’re tired but a good marriage/ relationship has sex and when you get down to its good fun. Leave a relationship too long without any sort of sex and you (grace given for those just having babies or likewise) become room mates say what you like but it’s true. A division forms. You stop touching each other which often leads you to stop talking to each other. Then you start to bicker because you don’t really know what’s wrong or what went wrong or how you got there.  Then it all because too hard. So it’s simple just have sex. Need a little help getting to the mood then just head here but having sex it causes the juices literally and conversation to flow. However if you need more of an incentive to bump uglies here are a few things I bet you didn’t know about sex, the horizontal tango, going naval to naval or walking the dog what ever you call it.

Sex is good exercise. Everyone of your 600 muscles are being used during sex so technically your getting an aerobic workout and I know what I would rather be hitting and it’s not the gym. Chemically it has been suggested to lift ones mood and reduce depression hence why you feel so damn good after a good aerobic workout of sex. It increases your immune system a Wilkes study found people having regular sex had more antibodies than those who didn’t.

It releases stress, you sleep better, boost yourself esteem, gives you fast relief from aches and pains. It also gives stronger intimacy to your relationship i.e. you become closer you go back to being honeymooners again a no brainer really and isn’t that we want? That honeymoon feeling? All. The. Time. A recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina found that among 59 couples, those with more loving physical contact showed the highest amounts of oxytocins. Oxytocins is released both during sex and even while kissing. Oxytocins are the hormone that creates the urge to merge and bond and there’s a surge of it after sex. Hence where the desire to cuddle and hold each other comes from; when conversation’s start again.

Yet here is the clincher for me well not totally the fact I am married to the sexiest man in the world is the main reason; he is seriously yum but this is a nice by product of all that activity. A Scottish study showed those who had regular sex had better skin and looked younger by up to ten years. Ten years girls. Apparently an orgasm triggers a rush of endorphins and growth hormones, like DHEA, that help heal damage caused by the sun, smoking, and cortisol build up, which is associated with the thinning of the skin. Now if that’s not a reason to get some loving I don’t know what is.

So go on stop what you’re doing, turn the TV on for the kids, grab your lover preferably your husband I don’t encourage adultery, lock the door and just do it.

xx Deb