{a fifo wife} ASOS wedding dresses

by debbie on March 20, 2017

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Lace Embroidered Mini Shift $235.00

 

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Ruched Mesh Bandeau Maxi Dress $293.00

 

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Draped Halter Neck Maxi $235.00

I brought the second wedding dress I tried on. I hated the whole shebang.Getting married has to be an introvert’s worst nightmare. Trying on dresses on a purpose built podium with strange women ushered around me fluffing out the bottom of my dress, tugging my hips and cupping my breast, whilst telling me I needed a tan. So to avoid the sheer horror that was unfolding around me I said yes that one before another stranger gave me a second glance. We were in and out of the shop in less than an hour.

Now if only I had internet shopping back then like we do now, I may have worn something a little more “me” than “just get me the hell out of here” style and so here are some of ASOS pretty wedding styles.  Beautiful, affordable and can be deliberated about in your lounge room.

My advice use the video option to see how the dress sit and really look.

xx Deb

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{a fifo wife} the positives of tricky life..

by debbie on February 26, 2017

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Someone typed into the blogs search engine today “positives about being a wife of a FIFO husband” and whilst some will argue there are any, there is always a positive to a negative. Its how the world works and the sooner you can find see it and live it the better your world will be.The world runs on the positive.

So here are a few of the positives I have come to learn from my FIFO life because FIFO has made me who I am its been part of my whole life. I am I guess second generation FIFOer if there is such a word. These however I think apply to any tricky life because life is always at some point going to be tricky.

  1. You will come to see that absence does make the heart grow fonder. If not fonder then certainly it will make you appreciate them more and hopefully, in turn, you. You may even fall even deeper in love for the sacrifices each of you are making. If you are like me however, I don’t miss my husband I don’t have time unless of course there is a in-between moment and then a tear will fall and an ugly cry will ensue in the shower.
  2. You will come to appreciate the value of time and how precious it is and not just with your partner but everyone valuable in your life. Don’t waste it. It is more valuable than gold.
  3. You will come to develop communication skills that only the UN negotiators could dream of. FIFO will test your relationship but life will test your relationship. Communication is the key to anything. It’s like magic. Emotionally you will grow and your relationships will flourish.
  4. You will find a strength in yourself that you never knew existed. On days that are tough will learn to ride it out and see making it through the other side as a blessing. Making you so much stronger.
  5. You will learn you new tricks that you didn’t know before like changing tyres, using drills and mowing learns. If you want to. Some choose not and that’s their choice and it’s okay.
  6. You will come to understand yourself better. You will develop a faith and confidence in yourself that only riding solo can only teach you.
  7. You come to understand who your friends are, who your family is and who is there to help you out on a bad day. The loss will either leave you saddened or somewhat lighter. Lighter is always better if you think about; you rise faster that way.
  8. You will come to understand that attitude is everything and there is no one else in control of that but you.You are in control of every action and decision you make. Call it mumbo jumbo but positive attracts the positive,  its the way life works.

Life is tricky and nothing is easy you just get much better at it. See the positive over the negative and FIFO can give you much more than a monetary or lifestyle gain but a whole new way of thinking.

xxDeb

{image with thanks to here. Words by Debbie Russo}

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How do you manage all that time is a question I get asked a lot when my husband is doing long swings at work.

Initially, I was never able to respond because I just did it. I went on to auto pilot, but when I stepped back and thought about it, I did have a method. I wish I could tell you it’s because I had outside support coming out my ears, but I didn’t, a failing on my part. That outside support, no matter where it comes from is vital not just for FIFO but life in general and not having it and not asking for it is how I lost the plot and not managed at all.

How I have come to manage my life since is very simple because the reality is for me while I have that outside support now I still can’t ask for it again, my own failing. I have however come to manage another way its simple, pride effective and for me, life changing.

What is it?

I have come to live every day as it is laid out in front me. Moment to moment, tantrum to tantrum. Breakfast to dinner. I don’t often think anymore beyond tomorrow; it’s why when I travel infuriatingly to my husband I pack the day of departure. My week planning consists only of appointments and hopes nothing is set in stone anymore.

I have not always been this way because I recall writing lists and procedures on getting ready for my work, school and travels when I was much younger. So living for the day was how I came to manage long stints of the husband being at work after my plot loss which in hindsight has come with an incredible side effect. Living this way brings with it thankfullness, appreciation and gratitude. I’m not sure if it’s mindfulness, but it is certainly is living in the moment. It delivers with it a surety and happiness of sorts that even on the darkest of days which I have had many has as seen me through to tomorrow.

Personally, I think, thinking too far in the future creates stress and sometimes we just have to think about now. It’s great to have a goal and plan we need those to stay on track, live and create the life we want but to live too far ahead of ourselves is missing the point of life, of those goals and plans. When you think about how much time is in front of you or lack of it becomes consuming.

When the husband was at work, and it was just me alone with a newborn it became consuming. It dragged time, and the old saying a watched pot never boils was never truer, and so it became to a point stressful. It created a focal point not only of time but that I was ‘alone’ and ‘tired’. Problems became bigger than they were and if I’m honest resentment started, ironically about rest and sleep. It’s all I wanted but never got.

That focus on time is when you lose track of it. You lose track of moments; the crux of what life is. What memories are made from?  We are often so busy looking ahead of time to a place we have never been to only to miss what’s passing us by a place we are already at.  So if you can just bring yourself back to this day and this minute and live it, survive it and the realities of it (and let’s face some people’s day is a struggle for survival) everything is doable and more.  It simplifies it. You see it for what it.

And with the doable brings gratefulness and appreciation that you will never experience looking too far forward.

xxDeb

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{a fifo wife} who do you think you are?

by debbie on January 15, 2017

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Have you ever wondered about your ancestors before you? Who they were? Where they came from? Have you ever wondered if it effects who you are?

I always have wondered. I think living ‘alone’ in Australia with no ties to my parents family whom both are from New Zealand I have always felt somewhat a drift on where I belong culturally or ethnically. I have heard of my wonderful family traditions but never have witnessed them played out.

I have always loved New Zealand and travel back as often as I can, often using my family as an excuse when the reality is I just feel so at home there. In fact, on my recent return from New Zealand, I said to my mother I was serious about purchasing some land there because I don’t want to lose my connection there. I just feel at home there I said.

“That’s the blackfella coming out of you,” she said to me sweetly like she was sharing a secret.

I laughed at her.

But is it why I detest the heat? Why drizzly days make my heart sing and why I am torn between the coast and the mountains? Why the water brings a calmness? Why I feel at home in New Zealand? Why I can do a British accent better than John Cleese on a good day? And why Paddington Bear is much more than just a bear.

Is it our genetics? Why are we drawn to things?

Is it why my husband is never far from the sea? Why he, has always worked on her great expanse since leaving school at 17? Is it why he loves the cold also? Why he, loves to continually move?

And so wanting to know more about my husband’s ancestors as well as wanting confirmation of my own I ordered a DNA kit. It was on special and so it was the university giving me a great big thumbs up.

The process was as simple as spitting into a vile activating a key and returning it back to the lab in an addressed envelope.

Six weeks later the results were in, sent via email. Husband and I sat and read eagerly together.

For me, it was no surprise with the exception I’m more British than most Britains currently considers native to Britain. Perhaps there is a room at the place with my name on it. Perhaps Harry and I are destined to be friends given Iam 29% more British than a British person, perhaps we are – wait- cousins.

The Polynesian link is because I am proudly the direct descendent of the first interracial marriage of a Maori princess and a British explorer, a writer for the British Museum.

The other regions show a small percentile of West Asian so Iraq Bahrain and Afghanistan where I’m assuming they my ancestors started from or crossed through on their journey across the world.

Exciting to think of the people before me and the journies they made.

Making it so true that we are just all one people because I certainly don’t look like the descendent of a Maori princess or a middle eastern girl.

It does answer these questions for me, and I do believe genetics play a significant role in who we are, it just makes sense to me.

As a sweet side note through this, I have reconnected with a first cousin on my father’s side and a third cousin on my mother’s side. There are another 47 possible cousins I’m yet to invade myself on. I’m no longer drifting but paddling my way towards others on the same path.

My husband’s side? West Europe, Scandinavian, Irish, with less than 2% Italian which with a surname like Russo is interesting. And much to his delight, he has people other people that share his genetic markers also.

It seems he isn’t a mutant 6ft4 Italian but a strapping young Viking. Surprise, surprise.

This is not a sponsored post but if you would like to see more here.
Ancestry DNA.

Have you ever considered finding out your roots? Do you think it plays a link in who you are?

xxDeb

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{a fifo wife} five really good sales on right now

by debbie on December 21, 2016

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I don’t do a lot of shopping but have found the older I get ..I sound like I’m 90..the less I like hitting the shops. Not only do I not have time because shopping by myself is a luxury but shopping is now purely a hunting-gathering expedition carried out at Woolies. Then there is the people but that’s a whole other issue. Not that I don’t like people, I love people except when trying on clothing because trying on clothing with my 5ft lopsided hourglass figure that in modern day reality fits nothing can be somewhat stressful. People just add to that stress, they stroll in aisles as if they are out to enjoy themselves when clearly I’m on a mission to get in and get out.

However never would have thought when I was 23 years and considered shopping a sport that shopping now for something as simple as a white tee would become so stressful. However three kids, several melt down’s and cursing what I was born with later I now no longer try anything in the shops on. My self esteem can cope. I buy it bring it home if it fits great I’m swanning around like I have won lotto. Then with less fanfare can hide it in the back of the cupboard as if I have had it for years. Yet if it doesn’t fit because my bum is too big and waist too small then I fold the item ever so carefully with gritted teeth, place it back in the bag ready to return and without to much trouble can head to the fridge and consume my annoyance in Freddo frogs.

But it’s that time of the year six of the best sales on at the moment and you don’t even have to hit the shops, encounter walking rage or lose it in the change room. Instead, grab a tea your favourite chair and away you go.

JeansWest. 40% off everything online ends 27th of December so be quick. Now I love their shop and I did post on facebook the link yesterday to this sale and just like yesterday, I said they had one maternity jeans of the year two years running. In fact, I wore their maternity jeans even when I wasn’t pregnant. Head here.

ASOS 50% off everything online starts at 7 pm on the 21st and runs until the 30th. Lots of great brands at what I can only imagine will be great prices. Head here.

Cotton On is having a 50% off sale here

Cotton On Kids are having 50% off everything until Christmas, starts tomorrow. Head here

Typo the quirky stationary store is having 50% off until Christmas. Head here.

And whilst this is not on the net I had to tell you about it. Payless shoes instore only. They are closing down and have 40% off. For more info head here but a great opportunity to get next years school shoes.

Happy browsing, hope you find a bargain.

xxDeb

 

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