I don’t reckon they are all that into us I said to him.
“What do you mean?” he said a little indignant, dramatically preening himself “what’s not to like?”
I laughed and said to him “you are not exactly known for your ability to read social cues.”
He smiled his crooked smile, knowing I was right and said “so what makes you say that ?”
Having friendships is important for us humans. What’s more important is those relationships adding value our to our lives rather than the opposite. Not every friendship will inevitably do that, and whilst that’s okay, knowing when it’s not adding value but the opposite is important too.
It is also important to understand that sometimes friendships become onesided and we need to prop each other up for a while. Support and understanding is the essence of friendship and good relationships but this is a post for when things have gone beyond that.
So for the socially inept a few clues on weeding out the ones who make us question our sanity to make way to having room for more quality friendships.
How to tell when they are not into you
1.You are the booty call.
They only call on you when they need to make up numbers. Let, not sugar coat it. “Oh, Deb, I am having a little get together, and it’s a candle party, but you don’t have to buy anything- of course not.” Never mind the intimate gathering they had the last week that they assumed you were too busy to come too.
2. They don’t respond to your phone calls.
They have their phone on them 24/7 but don’t call or text you back- ever. However, on that rare coffee occasion, they will answer every single text in front of you and at length. They will be having coffee with you but are having a full conversation with their friend down the road via text also. Leaving you sitting there awkwardly wondering if the exchange of pictures and occasional guff is about you or ugly cat.
3. They don’t know anything about you.
They don’t ask about you or only the polite ‘how are you’ before launching into their latest drama. It’s never a one-off. It’s every time, never mind how you are, however, you know the last flu they had right down to the date and timing of the last sneeze.
4. They are energy suckers.
You leave them feeling tired, not energized. You know the friendships that leave you feeling so rejuvenated and excited. I have a few like that especially my friend Ruth. We don’t see each other often, but when we do it’s amazing, and I always feel better for her visit.
5. They clock watch all the time.
I understand that people have places to go, but you know when someone is in your company and they are clock watching all the time rather than paying attention to your news it’s embarrassing. Its also more embarrassing when they are always late to your ‘dates’. Always and yet their ability to clock watch is out stounding.
6.You know it that they are just not into you.
Your gut tells you that they aren’t into you. Always go with the gut.
Now what to do about someone not being into you is a whole other post.
Xx Deb
image is with thanks to @harlso_the_balancing_hound
Read more of Debs life’s lessons here and here.
