the fifo wife

Have a great weekend my lovelies. Be kind to yourself this weekend. I read some where about taking three minutes. Take three minutes (or more if you have it but start with three minutes) and do something nice for yourself.

Lots can be done in three minutes. Something just for you. A coffee, a tea, a breath, a stroll around the garden or a sit in the sun. Take three miuntes to start the first page of that meaning to read book, write a love note to your beloved or call your best friend to say hi. Brush your hair, put some lipstick on or listen to your favoutite song.

But find three minutes. Its amazing what a difference three minutes can do.

Me, Im going to find three minutes with my old friend the newspaper. Come hell or high water I will read the news paper this weekend. Weekend Australian here I come.

Have a great weekend,

xX Deb

So I had a lovely reader ask me if my husband ever annoys me…because we sound so happy all the time..ahh no. I annoy him and he annoys me. Here are his top five things that annoy him about me and I will be honest there was more but lets no get petty and out of control shall we. It was interesting but once he started he found it hard to stop it was like the built up flood gates had opened up with my permission and I was fair game. Dually noted my fine husband dually noted.

1. I’m always always saying sorry. Its true. I would rather take the wrap and apologies than let some out of control argument go any further. I like to think of it as a way to diffuse the situation that’s just unnecessary but when I’m right I’m right and hell have no fury I let you know.

2. Asking to many questions..yes its true I’m a seeker through and through..

3. Stirring my coffee and tapping the spoon against the cup..he says he can here me as far as way as the bass staright and yes guilty as charged but its part of the zen coffee ritual. Its necessary like blessing the coffee.

4. Doing the dishes and not putting them away. I let them dry in the rack then put them away I have other things to do. Just for the record he refuses to buy a dishwasher, he hates them, so given that its me that’s washing dishes five times a day or more the dishes will air dry.

5. I leave bread crumbs on the bread board..I always get there just not when he wants me to.

All of that is true. Guilty as charged. But in all fairness here’s the top five things about my husband that drives me insane.

1. I hate the way he drives. Hate it. Although this could be a control issue for me.

2. He never takes my plate from the dinner table. Why not? I take his?

3. He has far to much gas for one person we could start a methane plant and our own green energy corp from his orifices alone although Im under the impression or so Im told its a man thing?

4. He occasionally forgets he is at home and starts using language and telling jokes that are best suited to the boat..’keep that for the boat is a gentle reminder’

5. He has far to much energy, far to much and he requires little sleep. Frustrating as crap I tell you.

Yet I love him and he loves me. That’s just the small stuff and why sweat the small stuff. Its more laughable and funny than annoying really..truly it is.

So my lovelies what do you do that annoys your other half and vice versa?

I would love to know. Come on tell someone. You know you want too.

xxDeb

Sorry for the lack of posts but things have been crazy. New stuff is happening. Husbandis home. Crazy fun new stuff and Im just trying to find balance but how about this for trying new things? Tallest and longest waterslide in Brazil, 42 meters high and reaching speeds of up to 105km per hour.Would you? At what point would you be just free falling rather than sliding..crazy stuff.

Fun Crazy Stuff.

xxDeb

Want to know one of  (let’s face it there is no just one thing to a great relationship) secrets to a keeping a marriage or any relationship happy alive thriving possibly going forever? Speak well of your partner and occasionally let them hear a sort of on purpose. Boast about them. I guarantee it will put a spring in their step, a smile on their dial and a massive swell in their heart for you. This may or may not lead to other romantic interludes to which I am too shy to talk about here..ahem but that will also contribute to long and healthy marriages.

Now you don’t have to go all over the top let’s face it we don’t need them having trouble getting through the door but everybody loves a little praise, everyone that deserves a little should get a little praise. So next time you are at friends gathering and he or she is in ear shot..let them know how great you think they are especially via a third person.

My accidentally on purpose often goes like this.

How long is FIFO husband home for? Where is he now? (always the same ice breaker) Ahh, he is home four weeks. The same as usual. He is in the bass straight currently I will say. I will turn and look for FIFO husband. He will generally never be too far from me. I will look at him and talk to the other person smiling all while looking at him. He is amazing my husband. So good to me and the boys, he is the bee’s knees really (bee’s knees…yes I do talk like that). I gush at them. He is the most handsome man alive. I will say. Generally they the third person will just look at me with the ‘what the’ expression on their face knowing that they didn’t ask for it but I gave it anyway but I don’t care, I want them to know. I want the whole world to know.

So be a little obvious. Be a little bold. But do it. Obviously, this applies

Obviously, this applies to men doing it also for their wives, wives doing it for the men. A marriage is not a sided situation but do it everyone likes a little praise.

xx Deb

We are going to be fortunate this year almost lucky if I believed in luck but this year FIFO husband has spent two birthdays (on the actual day) at home with us and this year more excitedly at this stage we think he may be home for Christmas a first in three years. I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad about that as I love the non official Christmas that we have. There is never any stress at all and it’s always such a fun happy day. The day is spent how we want it not by family members we see hardly at all.

Anyway it got me thinking about the everyday moments and events with the kids that are missed and let’s face it with FIFO he is going to miss some with working away. And whilst I understand that’s tough but that is also life. I missed my B1’s first steps because I was in the toilet, I missed my B2 first sentence because he was at day care and I’m sure I missed lots of B3’s milestones because finally after four years of no sleep my body was starting the whole shut down; I was too tired to take notice or care. The only thing I remember of B3’s in all honesty is he started crawling on Christmas day I remember because we were at my mother’s hence I’d had some rest and I caught it on video. It promptly got sent to husband. Along with every other ‘snap’ taken by me that day.

Initially when my husband realised he may or may not miss these ‘big’ moments he was sad and disappointed and it stayed this way until he witnessed B1’s first steps and I didn’t. I was in the toilet as it happened. He almost kind of rubbed it in. Why don’t you care he asked. Am I disappointed? a little but the fact of the matter is he doesn’t know I have missed them. What I will remember is the absolute joy on his face as he kept trying and remember when he ‘crawled’ to you at the airport his face so determined and happy at the same time, didn’t that make up for missing that first crawl I asked him in return. And now as we have learnt B1 doesn’t remember who was there on those first steps, first crawls and first words and neither do I. What he does remember is FIFO husband screaming encouragement like some crazy man on the sidelines of the cross country field earlier this year. He remembers daddy taking him to the skate park. He remembers daddy going to class reading. He remembers daddy being at school parade as he was presented with his first school certificate. He remembers those things. Those things that matter to him. To me thats more important.

But FIFO husband has missed some moments it happens it’s going to happen. It will happen to me as a stay at home mum. It will happen to working fathers and working mothers. Its life. So I have made it my personal mission as a FIFO wife and just all round mum to keep the everyday as well documented as I can (when sleep deprivation has allowed) so here is what we have done to try and close the gap for when FIFO husband is being the FIFO husband.

1. Keep a camera handy at all times this wasn’t the case for us when B1 was born digital’s/ camera phones were just emerging on the market. We relied on the web cam to take stills and upload. Video camera everything school plays, sports days, swimming lessons (ask permission first…new rules and all). Take photos of everything. It may insignificant to you but not to them.

2. If they miss a school presentation, running race and you are there, capture it on video. When they get home make it a presentation like on movie night. Pop corn soft drinks make it a really ‘big’ deal. Your kids and FIFO will love it more than them being there. Even when you are there it’s often hard to give the star kid your full attention as you try to contain your other children all the while trying to watch them.

3. Take one random image of your babies’ everyday and send it to thier email. Either with a comment on how yours and their day went but send an image every day. EVERYDAY. Our photos range from a boring old passport type image, to an action shot to them sleeping. Send one and you will end up with an amazing timeline of their life. We have one image of all the boys for everyday of their life from the moment they were born.

4. There are lots of applications now that you can post things online in private. We use tumbler and I will snap things on my iPod and can send them off to tumbler from the McDonalds wireless cafe if that’s where we are. Only he and I can see it. We can write notes. Thoughts all that type of thing. The option with tumbler or most applications you can turn them into books later which is what we intend to do. Tumbler it’s operated with password, other family members can see if you let them but I’m greedy and just want it for us. Him me and the boys.

5. Write an email every day (even if you call) or at the end of the week send a newsletter of everything that you can remember that they have done that you may have forgotten to tell them. First words, new words my husband was always asking what their new words where and I would forget so I would write them down and he would get it most Sunday afternoons in a family newsletter. It was exhausting but it gave me a creative outlet at the time. Now we have tumblr but every now and then I still do a newsletter.

6. For when the boys are older…if something amazing has happened at school or in general (mummy often misses those) they will write or draw about it and it goes in a special draw that daddy opens when he gets home. We make a huge deal of that draw and its contents and its opening.

Dont make too big a deal of missed moments. Celebrate the ones you see. The ones you can. Its the best you can do.

Have a great Monday lovelies,

xx Deb