the fifo wife

 

We had a bout of vomiting in B1 last night a case of heat exhaustion I think which was then faithfully followed by growing pains in B3. His first case of growing pains. Not knowing what this immense pain in his little leg was set him into complete hysterics although Panadol and rubbing his legs until he fell back to sleep did the trick however needless to say I am very much a tired little crazy mummy. Thankfully the milk is fresh and so far the weather is still cool. Yet being a little weary here is what has been running through my head since 12.36am this morning.

1. The word FIFO is like the word wedding everything doubles in price.

2. I am racking my little brain trying to work out what to get my boys teachers for Christmas this year. I thought I could make something given my attempt with the glue gun was a roaring success. Ideas anyone?

3. Yesterday someone asked me about by B1’s school concert and before I could stop myself I admitted I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I loved watching him and all the other children. It was cute and funny and don’t get me wrong I enjoyed it. It was just (shall I dig the hole a little deeper?) they seemed to go on forever and I was tired and if I must admit it I was little unwell from too many late nights and vodka collin’s from the previous evening and just to clarify I’m a two glass giggler but still I am not winning any prizes for mother of the year.

4. ‘Don’t push your luck baby’ my baby said with his finger pointed and a look that could kill when his eldest brother said he couldn’t help him put the dishes away. Put him in a house frock and he could have been me. It made me smile from ear to ear for hours.

5. I have nothing to give B1 and B2 for lunch today. Nothing. I am old Mother Hubbard the cupboards are bare yet despite that I still don’t want to go shopping today. I just don’t its to hot but don’t fear I will because it seems telling the kids we are being multicultural three nights in a row by giving them couscous because it’s the only thing I have left doesn’t seem to be cutting it.

6. I put up the Christmas lights over the weekend. My efforts of becoming an acrobat contortionist as I climbed up and around the veranda railings were clearly not enough apparently I need to get on the roof and ‘they will catch me’ if I fall.

7. Telling me I need to wait for a man to get home to back the caravan into the driveway is like setting me a challenge. I can now back that sucker like a truckie.

8. Christmas cards were so much more fun when it was just my own.

9. I’m no shock jock its not my aim to offend anyone or hurt anyone that’s not my karma. This is seriously what wonders in and out of my head and often out of my mouth but I am wondering how many ‘friends’ I will loose from comment number 3.

10. I live across from a school and every morning as I do the dishes as I watch parents drop off their kids. I love seeing how tired mummies transition back into their former selves and become yummy mummies. So to the young mum who drives the green hatch back with three kids in case I don’t catch up with you I want to tell you something. You look sensational today.

Have a great day my sweets,

Xx Deb

 

Over the weekend I found myself basking in the glory of family and friends. We don’t all get along in fact we bicker and collide. But despite this we laugh and we have come to be thankful for each other. We have all come to understand that our circumstance have made us who we are. We cannot change any of that just be thankful that we have each other and we are here alive and well. So whilst sadness brought us together this past weekend we had a thanksgiving of sorts. We rejoiced in the comfort of memories and there was very little time to be sad we had much to be thankful for, Aunty Sue had given us far too much to be thankful for. And I understand Thanksgiving was last month and it’s an American tradition but the tradition of gathering your friends and family around you to give thanks to them for being in your life is just the most beautiful idea and one I wish that we would adopt here. It’s the one day of the year when people stop to be thankful; to be grateful for what they have but research has shown by practising it everyday not just the third Thursday in November it can do so much more.

Being grateful and thankful for what you have not what you want can do amazing things. Not to get all moonshine and zen on you and I could never go as far as a gratitude journal although it sounds wonderful but the practicality with three children for me is too hard but I am grateful and along with that I’m an optimist. I make a conscious effort most days to be that way, after all nobody is perfect. To think that way and see the good in most things even the bad. It affects how I look at the world, how I live my FIFO life and being grateful like positivity I believe operates on the law of attraction. I’m not saying if you put out G-ma’s rubbish bin that you’re going to win lotto but maybe when you get that next speeding ticket he will only clock you at 15 kilometres over the speed limit instead of 20. Being grateful improves your relationships all over. Tell your husband you really appreciate him working so hard that you’re grateful for him, his efforts and his ability to provide for you and he may just give you some extra loving. Tell your butcher he has great meat and say thanks for that and he could just give you an extra pound or just take the fat off either way be grateful for being able to afford that meat some people can’t. Tell your kids thank you for being good kids and they will be even more so.

Being thankful teaches you the lessons in life. Often it will show you ways around all those obstacles. It teaches you to look for your next step. How to behave and how to react. After all every cloud has a silver lining. Cliché I know but it does. Sometimes you need to look for it and if you can’t find it then you haven’t really learnt from it and you will more than likely do it again but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Weather to give you something or teach you something be grateful for the lesson learnt so you don’t do it again.

Then there is the health benefits of being grateful. Gratefulness is linked with optimism and with that comes better health. Your heart is healthier. You sleep better. Studies reported in Psychology today found that when people spent 15 minutes jotting down what they’re grateful for in a journal before bedtime, they fell asleep faster and stayed asleep longer. The University of Utah recently did a comparison study and saw that stressed-out law students who were optimistic had more immune-boosting blood cells than people who were pessimistic. Being grateful helps you to deal with negative and stressful emotions. Children that are grateful are happier and their grades are better.

They (the experts) say the best way to practice gratitude is to think of five things and either right them down or make a mental note and be grateful for them. See the good in what you already have not what you want. It’s that simple. Appreciate those little things. Appreciate having two good working legs they may not look as good as you want them to but some people have non at all. Appreciate the roof over your a head some don’t have or can afford one. Be grateful for your job a crappy job but a job non the less. Be joyous for the health of your children some battle everyday for a well child. Then be thankful to someone. Thank them for their hard work, for their care and appreciation. Try to think that way to start each day that way each and every day and soon it will be habit.

So today despite my annoying start to the day which I must say was due to my very poor attitude to the world I have been putting on my gratitude hat on and am being grateful and thankful for a whole bunch of things.

I am thankful for my children and the love an acceptance they give me even when I am crazy cranky because they left the milk out which means two things one I need to teach them they must put it back in the fridge and two perhaps I depend on coffee a little too much.

I am thankful for the love of my husband without him I wouldn’t be where I am today. He takes me as I am. Big bum, mullet cut and all.

I am thankful for my good health of myself and my family.

I am thankful for the loads of washing it means my house was full.

I am thankful for what lessons my life has taught me. The good and the very bad. It has led me here and made me she.

I am thankful for who ever discovered liquorice, chocolate and who ever created caramelised pork belly. It has made me happy and given me the big bum that my husband enjoys sniggering about. It also means I can afford to eat.

I am thankful for you. For the FIFO wife community and just plain old community for that fact. I know I say it all the time but I am grateful for you. For you taking the time to sit and be with me.

Being grateful, thankful and positive is a choice and it’s a habit. It’s a way of looking at the world.

So tell me what are you grateful for?

xx Deb

Continuing with our real life FIFO here is another fantastic FIFO life,

A FEW PERSONAL THINGS

I AM MARRIED WITH 3 TEENAGERS .DAUGHTER 19 STUDYING AT TAFE ,SON 15 AT A CATHOLIC COLLEGE AND THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTER 13 ALSO AT A CATHOLIC COLLEGE.

FIRST STARTED OFFSHORE 2 ½ YEARS AGO AS THE FINANCIAL SIDE OF THINGS WERENT TOO GOOD AT TRHAT STAGE.NOT QUITE SURE IF RIGHT FOR THE FAMILY AS TOUGH TO BEGIN WITH BUT NOW I THINK THINGS HAVE SORTED THEMSELVES OUT.

THANKFULLY I HAVE THE SUPPORT OF MY PARTNER WHO DOES AS EXCEPTIONAL JOB WHIST I AM AWAY.DOING FIFO HAS GIVEN US FINANCIAL SECURITY FAR GREATER THAN A JOB ONSHORE AND HOPE TO CONTINUE FOR ANOTHER 14 YEARS UNTIL I RETIRE ,BODY AND MIND WILLING

Was there a reason you started FIFO? I.e. deposit for a house, lifestyle. Or where you single what was your reaction when telling women about your roster? Did you talk about it before starting FIFO (as a couple) or the relationship? How long has FIFO been part of your relationship? Was there a time limit? Has that happened?

I FIRST STARTED OFFSHORE APPROX 2 ½ YEARS AGO ON A SEMI SUB ON NW SHELF AND WHEN COMING IN TO LAND ON MY FIRST SWING I WONDERED WHAT ON EARTH WAS I DOING HERE AT MY AGE AS WASN’T FAR FROM FIFTY YEARS OF AGE.WE HAVE A VERY GOOD FRIEND WHO HAS WORKED OFFSHORE FOR APPROX 20 YEARS AND SHE HAD TOLD ME TOO MANY YEARS AGO TO GET OUT THERE AS MONEY WAS GOOD ETC ETC.

FINALLY DID IT BUT ABOUT 10 YEARS TOO LATE.IF I DIDN’T DO IT I WOULD BE TALKING ABOUT IT SITTING IN MY ROCKING CHAIR SAYING ‘WHAT IF’.MY FIRST JOB WASN’T IDEAL AND NOT AS WELL PAID AS MOST PEOPLE MAY THINK IN OFFSHORE TERMS BUT AS MY WIFE AND I DECIDED THAT IF I DIDN’T TAKE THE OPPURTUNITY NOW I MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

OFFSHORE WAS THE CHOICE AS THE FINANCIAL FUTURE ONSHORE WAS PRETTY DISMAL TO SAY THE LEAST.IT DID TAKE ME 18 MONTHS TO GET MY FIRST JOB THOUGH AND DIDN’T HAVE SOMEONE WHO KNEW SOMEONE TO HELP ME LAND THAT FIRST JOB WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT OFFSHORE.

WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO ALWAYS ASK WILL I ONLY DO IT FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS BUT THE REPLY IS AS LONG AS THE BODY CAN DO IT AND WORK AVAILABLE I WILL KEEP SHOWING UP AT THE HELI PAD.MAYBE A BIT LATE IN LIFE TO START BUT OFFSHORE HELPS ME SECURE MY PRESENT AND FUTURE .

 What do you like best about FIFO?

WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BEST THING ABOUT FIFO IS THE FINANCIAL SIDE OF IT ALL AND OF COURSE THE MORE WE EARN THE MORE WE SPEND.PERSONALLY I THINK MY FAMILY HAS A PRETTY GOOD WAY OFF LIFE AT PRESENT AND HAVE NO REGRETS ABOUT CHANGING OUR WAY OF LIFE.IT ALSO GIVES ME MORE TIME AT HOME AND SO FAR HAVE BEEN LUCKY TO BE ON LEAVE THE SAME TIME AS MY 3 KIDS ARE ON SCHOOL HOLIDAYS.UNFORTUNATELY NOT HOME FOR XMAS BUT 28 DAYS AT HOME IN JANUARY WITH THE FAMILY IS NOT A BAD REWARD.HAD NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT WORKING AS A COOK IN THE REAL WORLD

What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?

THINGS THAT ARE SO SO /TRICKY AND HILARIUOSLY BAD ARE THINGS THAT ONE MUST KEEP UNDER ONES HAT AS I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT TELLING THE TRUTH OFFSHORE CAN LEAD TO FINDING THAT SOMETIMES THE TRUTH ISNT  ALWAYS WHAT IS NEEDED TO BE HEARD.

IF I HAD THAT MAGIC WAND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN WAVED TO GET THE TATTSLOTTO NUMBERS IN THE 100 MILLION DRAW.STILL WAITING FOR THEM TO RING.TILL THEY DO I WILL KEEP TURNING UP AT THE HELIPAd

How do you and your wife fit marriage into the balance? Do you think FIFO makes you be more romantic? Do you put more of an effort into your marriage? What do you do to maintain your marriage to keep it healthy? (ie communication, date nights)

FITTING A MARRIAGE INTO ALL THIS I SUPPOSE IS TAKEN FOR GRANTED.ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER[HOPEFULLY]I HAVE BEEN TOLD I DON’T HAVE A ROMANTIC BONE IN MY BODY,STOPPED BUYING ROSES ON VALENTINES DAY A LONG TIME AGO.AS MY WIFE WORKS FULL TIME ITS PRETTY DIFFICULT TO SPEND A GREAT DEAL OFF XTRA TIME TOGETHER WHEN ON LEAVE.KIDS STILL WANT TO COME WITH US TOO.TRY TO GET OUT FOR DINNER BY OURSELVES IF NOTHING ON WE HAVE TO ATTEND OR RUN SOMEONE HERE AND PICK THEM UP THERE.NOTHING CHANGES I GUESS WHEN IM HOME JUST AN XTRA PERSON TO DO THE TAXI RUN

Do you find you have trouble balancing your time off ie. You, wife and kids

TIME OFF DURING THE WEEK CAN BE SPENT WITH WHOEVER HASN’T GONE TOO SCHOOL,JOCK OUR JACK RUSSEL OR BY MYSELF AS I DON’T MIND MY OWN COMPANY.THE WEEKENDS ARE A DIFFERENT STORY OFCOURSE AND USUALLY A FEW XTRAS TO THROW IN AS WELL

How do you handle fitting back into routine? Dealing with discipline?

I FIND THAT I FIT INTO A ROUTINE VERY QUICKLY BUT FITTING IN SMOOTHLY TO THE FAMILIES ROUTINE IS A LITTLE BIT HARDER AS ITS THEIR ROUTINE FOR 28 DAYS OR SO THEN I APPEAR AND THROW A FAIRLY SIZABLE SPANNER IN THE WORKS.DISCIPLINE IS A TOUGH ONE -3 TEENAGERS WHO ARE GENERALLY PRETTY GOOD KIDS

How do you stay connected to your family when you’re away? Do you think the kids are okay with you going to work?

WHEN OFFSHORE I TRY AND KEEP  MY ROUTINE AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE AND PHONE THE FAMILY AT LEAST ONCE A DAY AND WHEN AVAILABLE A COUPLE OF TIMES ON WEEKENDS.NOT ALWAYS MUCH TO SAY BUT HAVE TO KEEP OUR LIVES AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE.I DO LOOK FORWARD TO EMAILS FROM THE FAMILY BUT WORKING ON THAT ONE

Do you get lonely on the rig? What’s the toughest time for you? (If there is one)

THE LONELIEST I HAVE BEEN WAS ON MY FIRST SWING OFFSHORE AS I SURE DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING BY LEAVING THE FAMILY AND BEING AWAY FOR 28 DAYS .TRHANKFULLY MY  WIFE KNEW WHY I WAS DOING IT AND THE KIDS OLD ENOUGH TO HELP OUT AT HOME.I DON’T THINK ABOUT BEING AWAY FROM HOME UNTIL I GET TO HELIPORT AND THEN THERE IS NO WAY BACK.PLENTY OFF GOOD PEOPLE OFFSHORE TO KEEP US COMPANY.ITS TOUGH WHEN ANY OF KIDS ARE SICK AS IT THROWS A LOT OF PRESSURE ONTO MY WIFE WHO HANDLES IT VERY WELL .I DO MISS THE FAMILY EVERYDAY AND A PHONE CALL KEEPS ME ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW

How do you manage life away do you have a routine sleep, eating, exercise and personal space issues on the rig?

GENERALLY TAKES ME A COUPLE OF DAYS TO GET A ROUTINE BUT NOT QUITE SURE ABOUT A GOOD SLEEP PATTERN AS GENERALLY WORK NIGHTSHIFT.EXERCISE –YOU CAN KEEP THAT ONE

What’s the most surprising thing your partner has managed whilst you’re away? ( This question is very much optional but public bragging about your partner is such a nice thing..

MY WIFE DOES AS EXCEPTIONAL JOB WHILST I AM AWAY AS WORKING FULL TIME ,RUNNING A FAMILY AND KEEPING ALL ON AN EVEN KEEL AND STAYING SANE IS NO EASY TASK.IF I DIDN’T HAVE HER SUPPORT I WOULD HAVE TO RECONSIDER DOING FIFO AS HEALTH BEFORE WEALTH

What advice would you give to newbie’s about coping with FIFO.

MY ONLY ADVICE TO A NEWBIE IS GIVE IT YOUR BEST GO AND IF ITS NOT FOR YOU IT DOESN’T MATTER.DONT LET THE QUEST FOR RICHES CLOUD YOUR VISION.

Thank you

Debbie

Now if I hadn’t had to lop off the mullet this cute bow bun which looks dead easy to put up is what I would be doing right about now for this airport pick up…

xx Deb

I don’t like talking about sex it embarrasses me. Im not a prude far from it I just dont like discussing it out loud without a few vodka collins under my belt but a new girl friend has no problems at all. At all. Anywhere she will talk about it any where school pick up, a cafe or in line at Woolworth’s. Anywhere but she’s discrete you know? Its her giggling and my red face that gives us away as to what we are talking about. And the reality is it shouldnt be something we are embarrassed to talk about because all good marital or de-facto relationships have a degree of sexual content. Sexual content sounds good right? Its just every now and then it gets a bit hard to get in the mood to you know have sex. You get tired. You feel a bit flat or fat may be the case. You feel abit lost from each other. It happens sometimes especially doing this FIFO gig. But the reality is you need it as a couple to stay connected otherwise your just room mates. You can tell yourself otherwise but its not the same.

So whilst I was reasearching this; yes I needed to research just a little, so many crazy ‘getting in the mood tips’ where offered by google and some sleazy man named the cape crusader and most just weren’t not practical when you have three kids running around; so with that in mind and the effort it takes a bubble bath with oiled massage just aint going to work every night of the week. So here is a couple of tried and true approaches that even with a three year old attached to your foot may help those who are having a little trouble getting in the mood for later when that three year old is in his own bed.

1. Touch your partner more. When you are talking to him reminiscing about old times touch his hand, squeeze his thigh, brush his cheek. You touching him in he will in turn touch you..its win win.

2. Have a drink in bed (when the kids are tucked away). A whiskey, wine or scotch its very Cary Grant and Betsy Drake let it all go from there.

3. Wear something that makes you feel really sexy as soon as you put it on..

3. Go to bed naked. If you cant do that because of inhabition as opposed to the kids being in the bed (which if thats the case remove children from the bed) ease yourself into it tank top and knickers, knickers then ta da nothing…but if you are anything like me getting dressed half way through the night is essential for that 3 year that will envitably join you at 2am but still it gets you where you want to go..

4. Sexting..its not just for teenagers Just be careful who you send that to..as close as you might be to your mother in-law I’m sure she doesn’t want to really read what your going to do to her son.

5. Make out more for ten minutes at least before going below the belt..

6. Watch magic mike..for the descency of the script of course never mind the cast..

7. Turn the lights low and light cinnamon- or vanilla-scented candles. Why those particular scents? Try it and see what happens

8. “Forget” to wear undies on your next date or just making dinner make sure he know’s..

9. Get a Brazilian bikini wax. Everything is more sensitive without all that hair in the way.

10. Mentally replay the hottest night you and your partner spent together down to every last dirty detail. Repeat it over and over again..

but if all else fails to get you in the mood read 50 Shades of Grey its a sure fire winner.

Have a great day my lovelies,

xx Deb