Our FIFO Christmas for us here at the FIFO family has been and gone. Tree has gone, decorations are down and expectedly/ unexpectdly the Christmas weight has arrived and it doesnt look like its leaving anytime soon. It seemed too arrive yesterday morning. Yesterday morning I said it was just fluid ..”yeah right’….but this morning it was still a struggle to do up the zipper. Its definatly not fluid. Dread is the word Im looking for. I did hear somewhere that it takes three days for weight to appear after unusual eating so could it really be ‘fat’? Im dissappointed in myself.
I don’t think that I ate like a mad women possessed by tiramisu and pork crackling or did I? I know that Christmas morning I was guilty of eating the kids chocolates and lollies as a pre breakfast nibble (I was hungry I woke at 4am to beat the kiddies) and since then have been eating the Belgium’s like they are raisins. Surely that wouldn’t equate to two kilograms in weight. I know I didn’t exercise because I didn’t have time to fit it in. I was to busy being a good host only problem is now that I couldn’t fit that exercise in (but could fit in the second helping of breakfast waffles) I now cant fit in to my favourite jeans.
I know two kilograms doesn’t sound like much but I’m only small. 157cm to be exact. I cant afford to carry too much weight. As soon as I put it on it shows. As as I put it on I can feel it. That for me leads to self esteem issues, as it is I have very little of that, and health issues. It comes back predominatly to health issues. I’m annoyed with myself. I have just managed to get my weight down to 63kg after averaging 69kg for the past six years now I’m back to 65kg. Arrgh! Pre children I was 54kg. I felt wonderful, slender and fit.
I know how I feel about myself fluctuates and today is no different. Most days I know I’m healthy I eat well, I don’t drink and don’t smoke. I know that I’m fit because I run 8km four days a week. On the days that I remember that I’m healthy ( and whats more important than that?) I feel great some days even sexy. But then there are days like today when I feel so horrible that I wonder why cant I get rid of this horrible excess ‘fat’ and wish that I was a part of brigade that demand head to toe coverings.
Now I don’t want to be a size 6/8. Those days are gone. My attitude now is a little bit of weight is good. I think women look great as 12 or a 14. They look like women not prepubesent teenage girls. I know 12 and 14 is a number and to be more image consciousness is wrong but its the only way of describing how attractive, confident, healthy women look to me. Think Marilyn, Nigella, Rickie Lee, Sofia Loren and my current favourite(s) Sofia Vergera (modern family) Kym Kardashian (apart from that girls figure there is no other loving going on from me) and Jeniffer Aniston (LOVE HER). For those aspiring to be a Paris Hilton, Kate Moss, Nicole Richie and arent built that way naturally just think about this you need somthing to fall back on if you where to get sick now thats my mother talking..lol..FIFO husband well he doesnt care as he shouldnt but us women we do. We are our biggest crictic’s arent we..
Today however I’m blaming my age. My body is no longer able to sustain eating like I was 28 years old without the two hours in the gym its just not possible. My body is failing me, or I’m failing my body, I’m not sure which. What ever it is but today I feel horrible. Its fat day. I feel heavy and like a dowdy bare foot pregnant house wife; without being pregnant. Its yuck and it doesn’t help that its been like being in an oven these past two days.
I’m tempted by the very impressive infomercials but I have never been one to get into those diet fads I think it just starts a never ending cycle. After all what happens when you finish your $169.00 jar of body trim or tony Ferguson stops being your friend? All that cost money I cant afford and don’t really want to part with.
I have always believed eating right and exercise is the key. Its common sense really. Isn’t it? It makes sense that if I ate like a crazed women for two days that weight would follow? Moderation. You can have it all in moderation, the french apparently do. If only I had remebered that as I shoved a fifth Ferraro Roche in my mouth claiming it was Christmas but then even at Christmas its all moderation. Damn it.
Ahh I think I have just talked myself into feeling healthy fat? Is that possible? I think that it is…so I guess its back to the grind stone…afterall if you do the crime you do the time..suck it up baby…here I come Wilma (that the name I gave my runner) be there in five.
For those not had christmas yet…take heed..moderation is the key
xxDebbie
