the fifo wife

I want you to write about this he said. What I texted back. The other side of FIFO that no one really talks about he said. What would that be I said but suspecting it was about the family he has out there.

And I don’t mean family in the sense of another wife or children but his co workers. The people he is with 24/7, for six months of the year the other ones he lives with. It would be naive to think that it doesn’t happen but that comradery, that sense of family is what quiet often keeps a job going and them going back. They are there with common purpose and that is for their family; the one back at that place called home. So it must be said that sure there are the odd arse that take advantage of both their families but tell me what industry doesn’t have an arse in it. What family doesn’t have an arse; think Uncle Joe twice removed at Christmas. The arses however are usually the noisiest family members making the wheel squeak while the rest of the family the back bone just keep it turning.

Out there offshore or on site they live each other’s arguments, victories and deaths. They support each other, advise each other and will each other on but it’s not to say it’s all a bed of roses but they deal with it like family does. Occasionally they can suck up others negativity bring it home and it creates a problem with you but address it, remind them gently other families problems are not yours and lived right it’s not. If anything and there is always a silver lining it’s a lesson on how to treat each other back at that place called home. It’s also not to say they want to go skipping back to their other family when they have finished with the real deal but comradery mateship it exists and it providing you know about it this second family and they know about you it’s a blessing.

Whilst it’s another life to a degree it’s a good one. Knowing my husband is at work and okay and not always sitting in his room pining for us makes drop off a lot easier. Knowing he has someone to have dinner with, someone to watch TV with, chat about our arguments so he doesn’t over think them, someone to talk to when he can’t sleep because he is worried about the lump in B2’s chest.. Knowing that he will have a giggle or two without me and with this other family makes me happy.  He has to work that is the reality I would rather this than what could be.

Yet currently his family and by family not only his vessel his crew but the industry as whole is in mourning for the loss of a 3 month of baby that died of SIDS, the second in a few months. It was a death that could have happened to any of them, to any of us. It has hit them hard and the industry although large yet when it comes to family it couldn’t get any smaller.  They are feeling it, dealing with it more determined for their families more than ever, the one out there and at home. I know they are because I can tell by the sound in my husband’s voice by the way he asks about the boys and if I’m really okay. I can tell by the posts I have seen on face book. All I can do is patience. It’s a matter of understanding and giving him and them what he and they need and often it’s more information that all is okay at home even if it means the same questions over again.

Now as a family they are digging into their pockets raising funds to give and support the only way they know how and that is money..You see in this industry where permanency is no longer the norm money buys more time at home…between them so far they have raised $5000 and the union is matching that. Now it should be mentioned I am not a union girl my experience with unions hasn’t always been a positive one and I’m the daughter of a union mediator but credit given where credit is due the union are partly responsible for this family and without the union the industry wouldn’t be what it is and its pretty amazing and I’m talking the offshore industry. Without the union I’m sure it wouldn’t be as family friendly, as personnel consciousness as what it is and for that I am grateful.

So from one family to another I thank you for taking care of my dearest thing in my life and my deepest sympathies are with you in this terrible time.

xx Deb

It’s almost October. I know I always say the time of month here but I can’t get over how time literally flies. So the weekend went by in a flash again literally. Saturday saw me at my little market stall selling my wares and Sunday was in the garden with a trip to Woolworths something that always is a drawn out affair.

My folks have gone to Kakadu for a week…had they done this ten years ago I would be okay but the crocs are so cheeky these days and my parents don’t run as fast as they use…like kids I suppose you just have to let them go.

So today I have a massive day in the garden…trimming of feature and fruit trees with the idea of hiring a mulcher. I have always been frightened of mulchers but used with care I’m sure I won’t lose a limb.

So with that in mind here are the few things running through my head.

1. I went to a bbq at my husband’s fire brigade; his second or is it third job because the man can’t sit still. I was thrilled I was still considered even though he was at work.

2. I finally understood when someone asks is your husband away? That they are usually trying to break the ice…

3. Why is it when I discipline my children in public do I apologies if someone meets my gaze…it’s for their future benefit and mine.

4. Did anyone watch the Sunday night special about the dad with no limbs…fruit loops is not what I said brave and courageous are only some of the words to describe him and his kids who describe him as awesome is what I hope my kids would say about me but I doubt they would after my performance last night because they have picked up some bad habits from another child staying with us, so I fear the word awesome is the furthest thing from their mind.

5. I am having some weird dreams weird I normally don’t dream and when I do I look them up…but these are so random and I’m only remembering glimpses of them that I am putting it down to the fact I’m due for some time off and not to read into the fact my dream saw me painting my house yellow in a bikini because really that’s my idea of a nightmare.

6. My eldest boy wants to become a fulltime vegetarian he is eight thoughts people…from a health growing point of view I’m trying to encourage a little meat…we don’t eat a lot as it is because as much as I like meat the whole animal thing kills me but I’m trying to teach him as long as we are aware where that it comes from an animal that feels, that we are not gluttonous and we waste nothing then it’s okay but I want to respect his idea. Can anyone offer me hints, websites and food alternatives?

7. Make up is expression I know that now…what do you think they are expressing?

8. I want to make this no I am going to make this.

9. This makes me want short hair.

10. An empty belly will help jetlag.

So my sweets I’m out of here it’s going to be a warm one and there is a lot to do in my garden.

Have a great day.

xx Deb