a fifo wife {fifo life: resources: FIFO childrens Books Mining and Offshore}

I love children’s books. I was buying books for my kids before I had kids. I love everything about them from the pictures, the simplicity of the writing, the hidden lessons inside the pages even the smell of the paper.

Reading children’s books can be great ways to explore strong confusing emotions such as anxiousness and reading books can help your child understand change, as well as new or frightening events.

Reading stories not only FIFO stories but any stories with children has benefits for grown-ups too. This time, together strengthens bonding and helps to build your relationship, laying the groundwork for your child’s later social, communication and interpersonal skills.

We thought Daddy Worked on a aeroplane

We thought Daddy worked on an Aeroplane. Written by Forrest Russo. {Offshore, Rigs and Vessels}

This book will touch many an offshore family, beautifully illustrated and wonderfully written it  recounts one offshore worker’s journey to work his rig and vessel.

Retelling his story from the moment his companies office sends his flight details, to boarding the plane, safety inductions, including life on board the vessel to when he return safely to his family its a great insight into a wonderfully varied industry and lifestyle.

Complete with a glossary it will help children understand that daddy doesn’t just go ‘away’ but goes to a place of work. This book will help possibly piece together what is often a mystery for children of what happens after the airport drop off. 

You can purchase your book here.

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My Dad drives a Dump truck. Written by Amber Bates. {Mining}

Fun Kids FIFO Books. ‘My Dad Drives a Big Dump Truck’ is aimed to help the littlest people in FIFO families have a light-hearted look into a working day of parents who work away.  

My Dad Drives a Big Dump Truck: Fun Kids FIFO Book (Fun Kids FIFO Books) (Volume 1)

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My Dad is a FIFO Dad. Written by Jo Emery. {Mining}

My Dad is a FIFO Dad is a book that will touch many families across Australia and the world, whom experience separation because of FIFO/DIDO work arrangements. This story will help to reassure children that despite distance, fathers can be present in heart, mind and spirit in many situations. This book forms the first of many support resources for children and families to build and maintain resilience, strength and unity to make FIFO/DIDO rosters fit seamlessly into their lifestyle. The work of Jo Emery aims to encourage an ‘I’m OK when Dad’s Away’ mindset. My Dad is a FIFO Dad is a heart-warming and funny story about a child who feels the love of her Dad even when he is absent at work. It can be enjoyed by children of all ages. While the topic is associated with the FIFO lifestyle, it resonates with anyone who believes in the unity of family. 

Purchase your copy My Dad Is a Fifo Dad

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My Boomerang Dad Written by Deanna Hislop. {Mining}

Dancing with Kangaroos and eating spaghetti with wombats? Join the fun as Lilly and Bob bring to life the ups and downs of being a working away family. Cleverly written, magnificently illustrated and complete with helpful tips and hints to assist with the temporary separation of one or more parents, this book is a must read for small children and parents in helping and acknowledging the emotions children can feel when they are apart of a working away family. A percentage of the profits of this book are donated to the Aboriginal Literacy Foundation.

You can purchase your copy of Boomerang Dad here.

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My FIFO Daddy Written by Aimee O’Brian. {Mining}

The book tells the story of FIFO (Fly in Fly Out) life as told through the eyes of a young girl. It’s about the ups and downs of missing her Daddy and the value of the small things like quality time together that make all the difference. The book focuses on how to feel positive and happy even when we miss someone and how to share our lives even when we are a plane ride apart. Books are a great way to talk to kids about difficult issues. The intention of this book is to help kids better understand the very complicated emotions they may feel from having a parent work away for weeks at a time. My FIFO Daddy was inspired by Aimee, Rory and their children’s experiences of FIFO life in Western Australia. Aimee’s aunt, Kaethe, donated her beautiful paintings for the book’s illustrations. It is a very personal project and they hope the book makes a difference in the lives of other FIFO families.

Purchase your copy of My FIFO Daddy

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how to get people to do what you want most of the time

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Have you ever met one of those people who just always seemed to get things there own way? It’s as if by magic that the taxi driver who wouldn’t take your short fare would take their shorter one? Or the café barrister who refused to do a decafe for you at the end of the day does one for them? You know those people, the ones who just seem to have things work out for them but what if it wasn’t really things just working out for them? What if it was something else.

How to get people to do what you want most of the time..

I remember being 22 years old, having just brought a pair of pants and needing them hemmed; because being 5’ft everything needs to be hemmed. I also needed them done by 5pm that afternoon.

Standing at the counter of the shopping centre seamstress with my Aunt she said “Debbie they are clearly busy, and they won’t be able to do it by 5 pm”. To which I replied, “there is no harm in asking”.

I proceeded to ask , and initially, the lady behind the counter said no way without even a curl in her straight mouth. I stood there eyeing her up, deciding for her that she’d had a long day. That she didn’t mean the flat “no” and asking again was worth a shot.

Eve was what was on her badge. Eve was in her fifties I summed up. Whited haired and except for it being 330 pm on a Thursday afternoon would ordinarily have a smiley face. Matching her current, not smiley face was a round belly, covered with a woollen vest that looked like something she had made out of the Women’s Weekly magazine.

So, having sized her up and really wanting to wear my new pants that night I tried again this time smiling both on my face and so it came through my voice.

“They have already been pinned Eve I said using her name on purpose “it won’t take you a minute to cut and sew them”.
She grabbed them from me, and looked at me, to which I said to her with a big smile “I want to impress a boy tonight”.

Seeing her soften all over I followed that up with “You know what that’s like Eve” and Im guessing she would have in her ‘day’.

My Aunt gasped and turned to walk from the ‘scandalous scene’ but before she could say Debbie let’s go Eve was smiling, telling me to me go have a coffee, and they would be ready when I got back.

And they were. Hemmed and pressed. I gushed my thanks to Eve and judging by the smile on her face I made her feel as special as she did me by showing me the kindness of doing a menial job at the end of a long day.

Do you always get what you want my Aunt asked and the simple answer was and is still yes; most of the time.

So how to get what you want from others {most of the time}

1. Be honest always.
No point in telling fibs, exaggerating or being an arse. I don’t do anything for anyone if I think it smells a bit off. Telling fibs makes you deceitful and nobody likes to be made a fool of when they find out their kindness was given in trickery.

2. Use your manners.
It’s a sign of common courtesy and respect. I do nothing for no one without manners, not even my children. It’s the essence of being a human.

3. Use a bit of cheek.
Everyone likes a bit of fun, and you know when you have crossed the line use your common sense. I am more inclined to do something for someone who has a bit of cheek and spunk about them combined with good manners of course than not.

4. Watch your body language.
Smile when asking someone to do something for you it softens your whole stance. Watch the tone in your voice and how you hold yourself. Throwing a tantrum will generally not get you what you want except a bad name.

5. Be a kind person.
So I know this is all going to sound 1990s and ‘Secret’ like but it’s true. Be a good person, be kind, do good stuff and it comes back around. Besides being kind, it’s good for your health. People who are kind live longer, it’s

not the same as . It beams from you that you are a good human. It becomes part of your vibe and agree with it or not it becomes part of your vibe.

6. Be genuinely appreciative of their efforts for you. Regardless of all that you do to get what you want, always be grateful especially if someone has gone that extra mile for you.

6. Try again.
Rejection is hard but usually, people who get what they want from others will give it another shot. Each situation is different and learning to way it up isn’t easy but as the saying goes there is no harm in asking?

Being honest, kind, using your manners and a bit of cheek will almost always get you what you want from others. People will always help you when they can, but being a little cheeky is often what will get you across the line. B3 of all my children is forever getting what he wants from everyone. Everyone.

So good luck in getting what you want, whatever that may be and despite getting the pants hemmed it never paid off. The boy wasn’t as impressed with me as he was with himself.

Have you got other tips for getting what you want? Leave a comment below. 

P.s How to to tell when they just aren’t into you. and How to redeem yourself.

Deb

{Content is Deb Russo image with thanks to here}

a fifo wife {a few things}

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I actually had another post to place up but well they didn’t feel right and so its a few things. Things have to feel right for me to place them and well they don’t feel right. Don’t fit with the weather or my mood.

So how was your week? Mine? Smashing. I love busy weeks, hard weeks. I don’t love them at the time, but I love them on reflection. Like tonight.

Anyway a few things that I have seen heard and looked at this week.

1. The “she shed” is the real thing. I have one. Okay it used to be my ‘shop’ now it’s my place to go when I want to get away from my children and pretend I’m doing important stuff ..just like a man’s shed here.

2. To calm the kids at school we do colouring and so naturally I have bought one to take to school too. It quietens and calms the mind and they have been doing it for longer than NAPLAN has been around. I bought this one today. It works.

3. Ms T my neighbour is getting married tomorrow I am so excited. I love a good wedding.

4. I started playing with Pinterest. Wholly mother of duck nuts that is like entering a time warp you go in at 6 pm and come out at 6 am and I reckon one day I will log on and then log out only to find I have grandkids.

5. 8 Things you should know about your libido here because I wrote

xxDeb

{a fifo wife} five tips to being happy 90% of the time}

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I wasn’t always such a happy person. I wasn’t always optimistic. I always liken myself to someone who knew everything, had a staunch opinion and if it wasn’t working out to my liking the whole situation whatever it was just shit. I’m probably being hard on myself, but that’s my way.

I remember the day you could say I had made the final transition to the continual bright side because despite my husband having left for his first offshore job four days after our baby was born {and baby then requiring surgery at eight days}. I was tired exhausted, on to week five with no end in sight and yet I found myself telling my neighbour that it was okay. It was an opportunity we couldn’t miss and I was so happy despite all of that.

I remember my friend saying to me gosh you have such a good attitude about this.

I looked at her and said there is no other way to see it. The words had come out of my mouth before I had a chance to think {so common for me} and I was proud that I had seen the glass half full idea – finally.

The old me would never have said that, or I could have been deliriously tired, but I think it was a the change for me.

The swap to the sunny side came about organically after a consecutive deployments and peacekeeping trips that were both particularly hard for both husband and me. So I can’t actually tell you how despite what the title of this says. I don’t read self-help books. I have no patience for lessons that way. I’m a learn along the way type, learn the very hard way type. I did however came to understand energy and what you put out you get back and it may not be immediate, but eventually it will come back to you and yes I wear deodorant and shave my legs on occassion. I also learnt that seeing things in a better light a positive way made life better naturally and so I think I became a better person {at least in theory}. I was open to things learnt things understood things I liked myself more.

So how do I stay so happy 90% of the time (because no one can be happy 100% of the time it’s unrealistic and boring) even when the shit has hit the fan, Murphys taken out residence on my couch and my last trip to the hairdresser has left me with a mullet these tips are how.

1. Focus on the positive. Looking on the bright side always. I focus on the fact I can walk, talk and toilet myself. I have a home and healthy children. I concentrate on what I have done rather than what I haven’t; I’m not dead yet. Besides you live longer when you focus on the positive stuff. Research has shown that when elderly patients were convinced that their health was poor, they were much more likely to end up in the hospital than those who were convinced their health was excellent.

2. You control your thoughts. After I suffered my ‘depression slash exhaustion bout’ I understood that if I wanted to win beat my sickness I had to be wanting to. I was I am in control of the thoughts in my head. You are in control of your thoughts. That’s not to say I don’t think negatively I do on occasion especially when Im day four of having a little sleep but even through the haze I understand I am in control of my thoughts.

3. Learn from mistakes and setbacks. Learn to own them. There is no shame in making a mistake. There is always a lesson in something. Be it about myself, what I am capable of or situation presented. You can always learn something. A bad day is never a bad day; it’s a day lived.

4. Be grateful for what you have. I have everything I need and all that I have ever wanted right at this very minute. I don’t require the latest gadgets or the latest fashion it doesn’t make me feel better. I have healthy kids, spunky husband and a home that’s in a country free from war and terror what else could one want? I am grateful for that every day and it’s what makes my heart sing every morning.

5. Hang out with the right people. Sometimes easier said than done but its where you have to make an effort to avoid toxic company and situations. I don’t have a lot of friends those that I do have I treasure with all my heart. I learnt through trial and error who was good for me and who wasn’t and it’s not because of anything in particular. I just learnt that we didn’t do good things for each other and that’s something that is important for the both of us.

x Deb

{Content Deb Russo image with thanks to here}

a fifo wife {fifo life: happy marriage tip nine: putting your marriage first}

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We were so out of sync out of rhythm it was scary.

We hadn’t been this far apart in so long that I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. Had we gone too far?

In the darkness, he sensed me sitting. Patting the mattress seeing if he could find my hand. Instead, he found my waist grabbed me and pulled me back to him.

At least he wants me I thought and so in the dark I held my breath waiting to see if getting my breathing in sync would help. Our marriage it was floundering months of placing it second to the kids, to work, to the book, to everything I wondered if it had gone to far.

We have been on the brink before. It’s scary and horrible. To be that distant from the love of your life is gut wrenching and hurtful. It’s often that hurt that keeps you from making the move to fix it.

I thought back in the dark of our hotel room free from the kids, from the book, from everything but him and I and thought back to Paris and how good it was. I thought back to the conversation husband had with a friend of his and wondered if he would still say the same that our marriage was amazing. I thought about how we and this is a joint effort had neglected our marriage, and this was the scary result.

When I tell people that husband and I will go on a weekend away without the boys it’s often met with an awkward look of ‘how could you’ do that to your children. But it’s where many and I start to differ on many things. However, we will see who will still be using the word husband after the kids leave home, leaving us in their dust trail as they head off to live out their adventures. All without thought until it’s time to fight over who will change our nappies and wipe our chins when we are in our nineties.

The fact is husband, and I will often put ourselves first however it’s not ‘ourselves’ it’s our marriage. Our marriage is important to us so much so that often the kids will come second fiddle to date night. And Paris was important to us and so was this weekend sans kids to Sydney that we were on now.

After all once the kids are gone where will we be as a married couple if we don’t invest in our marriage. The fact is the kids wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for our marriage, and so it comes first. Not only because I am selfish and want him to myself now and then. But because I want my marriage to last well after my children leave home and not just to last, but I want it to be a happy one.

A marriage where I know him as 50-year-old like I did the 24-year-old boy I met. I don’t want to be married to a stranger. Twiddling my thumbs as we eat dinner, having the TV blare because it’s better than making conversation across the table with my husband.

I make my marriage a priority for my kids, our family and theirs to come. And as selfish as we sound touting that we put our marriage first we do it not only for ourselves but for our children to keep our family happy and together. I want to teach my boys how to have a relationship and invest in one.

As I say to the kids the day daddy and I stop kissing is the day we need to worry.

So four ways to put your marriage first and the reality is its not that hard.

  1. Date nights. Make time to go out one on one so you cant talk about your days, troubles, future goals without the constant interruption and distraction having children can bring.
  2. Keep talking throughout the day if you can. If you can’t talk to him then a quick message or text- modern technology has come along way.
  3. Go nuts with the PDA it’s a natural progression to step 4.
  4. Have sex. No need for details. When how is all up to you but do it.

So consider placing your marriage before your kids before everything else and eventually they will thank you for it, and you won’t end up out of sync trying to find each others hand in the dark.

xDeb

{Content Deb Russo image with thanks to here}