the fifo wife - Page 190 of 192 - somethings I wish someone had told me.

a fifo wife {Me: First act of kindness humilation = determination}

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So I tried my first act of kindness yesterday well it did not go plan at all in fact humiliating is the word I would use but on but now on reflection perhaps a little more determined to spread the love. Here’s how my search for the warm fuzzy feeling of kindness went.

I was in Woolworth’s at the checkout and Id had a little bit of a yuck morning and I noticed the young girl behind the checkout was looking like she was feeling the same way. After all standing on ones feet for hours on end, scanning endless amount of items, listening to the occasional jibber jabber of a customer is well in my books one of those jobs that’s up there with the stop go persons at a road works, you often wonder how they can do that for hours on end but its a job and it needs to be done. So I grab two chocolate bars instead of one; I pay put the first chocolate bar in my bag to savour for my morning tea and the I give her the second one.

This is for you too have for your morning tea I told her. She looked at me confused. Then I could see her thinking “what is going on..is this a set up..is it poisoned..is she hitting on me?’ That look of confused then started to look like terror. I could see her scanning me.. looking at me my ring finger (why do women do that) trying to place me did she know me and had forgotten me. She then gives it back and says to me I cant accept this. Needless to say I was little shocked. After all she was a grown women (well all of 23 I think) not a child I was trying to scoop in to the back of a van. Oh? I stammered I was looking at her as she grappled for an answer..we cant accept gifts from customers..I smiled I was embarrassed my first act of kindness and I was rejected. I ran out of the store humiliated I was rejected by a stranger doing a act of kindness. Something nice..this is not how it gets told on Oprah, I couldn’t freaking believe it.

So I got back to the car and I sat I had to think about what had just happened. I was on the verge of tears, I was humiliated. The warm fuzzy feeling of doing something nice for someone it hadn’t happened. I was so looking forward to that warm fuzzy feeling. I needed it. Sitting there humiliated, disappointed and feeling so foolish it dawned on me that perhaps kindness, looking out for our fellow person is now so foreign that to do such things is considered just plain “weird’ and well that made me sad but the more I thought about it the more determined that we should make more of an effort to be kind, be nice to one another. My sadness and disappoint has now turned to determination.

I tell my husband and in between the tears of laughter as he imagined the fear that this girl had of an older women hitting on her he tells me why don’t you just stick to giving away the fruit off our trees..

Well that’s simply not good enough however on the plus side of that little RAM disaster I had two chocolate bars that morning for morning tea..

xxD

The Every Day

a fifo wife {orgainised: Staying Sane..being orgainised}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

Part of staying sane with three boys is being organised, especially with all their activities after school such as swimming, basketball etc. So I have a take on this idea of having all their extra cirricular bits gathered in my laundry (although one day I will have a mudroom as well as a laundry. The idea of a mudroom is just so practical) on the floor under a bench not unlike this one, that way they can sit to put their shoes on etc. It just has to be done I got so tired of the chaos before, after and during a game looking for things. It makes the event unpleaseant all that chaos before hand.

So instead of lovely linen baskets which although look lovely are completly impractical for keeping everything in including shoes. Instead I use square plastic buckets instead with big luggage tags with each boys name on it. Using the buckets is easier to keep clean especially with the red dirt here in Nth Qld and it doesn’t matter if my two year old B3 decided to cart it around the back yard. They also can be picked up and taken straight to the car.

In our house it works like this. The morning before say swimming the boys are responsible for ensuring they have everything they need in that bucket, they no what they need. If they dont have it they go with out. Simple. After each activity everything is placed back in its bucket or hung on its hook and if its lost or not there they go without until the next buying round which happens only twice a year.

Each boy also has a hook for his school bag, winter coat and hat. The same rules apply.

xxD

The Every Day

a fifo wife { me: A little blue…}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

Okay so I’m determined that this journal/blog will be honest and today my sweet friends I’m a little blue. I don’t know what it is I’m just having trouble getting my ‘stuff’ together and I feel a little blue. I think if we are all honest we all feel a little blue from time to time. Its natural for the lifestyle that we lead but its a horrible feeling and I hate it. It feels lonely, despite being surrounded by a household full of rambling dinosaurs aka three boys, its lonely.

However I do remember a piece of advice I read somewhere when I was going through a bad patch of many many blue days (it was a literal sea of black) and that was get to dressed and put your shoes on, because lets face it when you are feeling a little blue getting out of your pj’s can sometimes be a effort. So I’m off to shower get dressed, put my shoes and listen to a little black eyed peas.

xxD

The Every Day

a fifo wife {pregancy: Giving birth…B1 mine and his story}

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Today six years ago I was ten days over due and had a gutful literally. I wanted him out of me. I demanded and I do mean demand to be induced…stupid really but that’s my nature..I learn by my mistakes..I shouldve waited for him to come when he was ready. I was induced the next day because despite the attending sticking both his hands in a place that really shouldn’t go this baby still didn’t get the hint it was time to move on out, something that is true to his nature and I dont doubt that it will follow him into adult hood. I dont think this child will ever leave home.

Anyway so being induced is painful more so than ordinary labour they tell me and worst part is you are strapped to a bed, with drips and monitors. You cant go anywhere can’t do anything. Its painful. You cant imagine the pain you really can’t unless of course you have been there. So after ten hours I wanted a epidural I tried so hard to go natural. Crazy part was I was worried about being noisey making a scene embarrassing myself..the things you learn because as I learn there is no such thing as shame and modesty when giving birth.

The nigh before being induced I remeber saying to my husband on the way home in the car I have a high pain threshold I don’t need a birth plan (something most pregnacy books had suggested) I dont need to know how the birth will unfold and whilst it may upset some people I’m sorry birth plans are a silly idea good in theory I suppose it lessens the fear of the unknown, thinking that you have some sort of control. But I know women that get so stuck on birth plans its crazy giving birth is not something you can control you have to go with the flow and whats right for you and the baby. My birth plan (the one in my naive little mind) was Id be induced in a few hours he’ll be out, I’ll be out walking home the next day looking fab and thats as far as a the birth plan went..I’ll be right..after all if the hippie down the road ala natural so can I do it I can. Yes well, what she failed to tell me was the gas she inhaled worked for her..me it just made me sick.

So I asked my doctor after ten hours of panting and trying not to scream I wanted ; no I needed a epidural. No you can wait he said You have to be joking me I panted…I wasn’t dilating, I was hurting, I was tired and I was scared and then he says to me ‘what would you have done a hundred years ago’ I will never ever forget it I was aghast and I couldve mustered the strength at that point to kill him had I not been worried about making a scene however twenty minutes later I got my epidural and for the next four hours I sat playing uno with my husband while my stomach contracted away..it was bizarre truly. The funniest thing was my husband brought waterproof uno cards just in case what was he thinking, I still have never asked why he brought waterproof cards.

My few hours turned into fifteen and my ala natural birth turned in a emergency c-section. I didn’t care and I still dont it was the way it was ment to be. I just wanted him out, I wanted to see him, meet him I wanted the whole thing over. They say (some mothers ) c sections are surgical, cold. and for the weak. They aren’t, well mine wasn’t (and neither was my subsequent two). I remember every moment of my c section every pull, every tug, every fear and tear that I had and I remember the joy and overwhelming sense of love at seeing by big beautiful 10 pound 9 boy healthy and laying on my chest. It was perfect and I wouldnt change a thing.

So happy Birthday Austin. You make me so very happy and proud my baby. You teach me something new everyday. Thank you.

I love you so very much-mummy xx

xxD.

The Every Day

a fifo wife {fifo life: kiss and make up}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

So we kissed and made up after our little tiff (which incidentally was over me not wanting to go to the city) well he stewed and sulked and carried on for a few days why I don’t know, I think that’s a man thing. I think that’s the hardest part after an argument is allowing for the dust to settle. Giving each other the ‘space’ to settle and calm down unfortunately I don’t have a lot of patience for drama and carry on so I’m always like for Christ sake lets get this over with. We are also unlike many we are not like a passionate italian couple we are more like its our first ever fight its crazy we tip toe around each other being all coy and ridicolous after all its been 12 years. Anyway we are back to being all loved up.

Here’s to a great month.

xxD