the fifo wife

I get emails delivered to me every morning giving me hints on how to live my life better.  Yes; I’m kind of desperate like that, always trying to find a better way.

Most often I look at the main headlines and press delete. It’s not often one strike me as do able and read worthy. I’m a practical kind of girl and it takes a lot to peak my interest but last week one read…5 doable things to increase love in your life, everyone could do with more love right? I opened and skimmed through and then true to form pressed delete. Then this morning one as I sat down to write a post I listened to my husband take the mickey out of my mother ( for my non-Australian lovelies it means to make fun) and noticed the energy in the house was so good and it dawned on me that one of those doable things was indeed right. It read number four on the list but should have rated first: Fooling around.

Fooling around. Playing. Is what they called it but here is the explanation by Dr. Stuart Brown, a researcher into play. (Yes there is a whole research into playing. They call it the The National Institute for play.) He said that play is something you did “that caused you to lose track of time.” He called play “time spent without purpose.” He goes on to say “ Play refreshes a long-term adult-adult relationship; some of the hallmarks of its refreshing, oxygenating action are: humour, the enjoyment of novelty, the capacity to share a light hearted sense of the world’s ironies, the enjoyment of mutual storytelling , the capacity to openly divulge imagination and fantasies, … These playful communications and interactions, when nourished, produce a climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding relationship – true intimacy. Take play out of the mix, and like the oxygen deprived cyanotic, the relationship becomes a survival endurance contest. Without play skills, the repertoire to deal with inevitable stresses is narrowed. Even if loyalty, responsibility, duty, and steadfastness remain, without playfulness there will be insufficient vitality left over to keep the relationship buoyant and satisfying.”

So all that bantering going on between my husband and my mother is without purpose. Seriously but it is what has made their relationship what it is. A fantastic one.

Now my parents are here. Together. They have known each other since they were teenagers then married ahem after I was born.  I love hearing them bicker, quarrel and generally carry on. When I was young I didn’t get it now I get its how they show their affection. They make light hearted fun of each other, they pinch and punch each other they don’t take each other to seriously and when they are like that which is almost all the time I realise it’s when they are most happy. When we are all most happy. It changes the dynamic and vibe of the house. It’s their version of play.

So I realised that when me and my husband are fooling around and by that I mean making fun of his big nose or my compulsive behaviour, we too are most happy. Then the kids get involved and well Christ it’s a day at the circus in a fun way. I love it. Love it. I have since decided to make a conscious effort to ‘fool around’ more not take it so serious and tada it’s rubbing off onto everything. Everything.

Now the other four things on that list where to dance, be creative, practice calm, and let go of exhaustion. I’ve done all of them this week and you know what they are right it does create more love well perhaps not love but happiness and that will eventually lead to the big” L”. Practicing calm and letting go of exhaustion; I’m concentrating on that, it’s a work in process but with all the dancing, creativeness and fooling around why would you want to?

Have a really lovely Sunday my lovelies,

Xx Deb