Another month is over can you believe it? Where the hell did it go? Just got home from the drop off. We all got to go being Sunday. There were no tears, tantrums just see you Dad love you. Im proud of my little men. Im proud of my husband. We are in for a busy month, cant wait.
Chat soon
xx Deb
In following with the happy marriage/relationship tips I’m giving (because I’m so good at it and yes that’s dripping with sarcasm; no not really but I read lots put what I like into practise and Bobs your uncle or may be your aunt you can never be to sure these days) and given the happy (ie no complaint’s were made and no legal action was taken) response to tip number one here is tip number two:
2. Go to bed angry. After an arguement that is. If you are angry all the time then you could perhaps be in the wrong spot.
I use to use to think the opposite but over the last thirteen years I have learnt a few things about my relationship, my husband and myself. I use to try and solve the problem. It would go on for hours into the wee morning. For I am a seeker and well I thought that you should never go to bed angry….its a rule in the bible….”Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” and a rule in a book that is over thousands of years old well that cant be wrong but that’s crazy because I’m not religious by any means spiritual but not religious. Yet truth is I don’t like to leave an issue unresolved at all its like leaving the house and the last words you say are ‘You have bug eyes’ to your loved one only to be hit by a bus. So now whilst I don’t speak that way and I never let the last thing I say to someone be hurtful, mean or uncalled for I do go to bed angry now. I should mention its always a crap night sleep you cant expect sleeping beauty after an argument with your loved one.
You see I’m a seeker. I have said that before. I don’t like confrontation and sometimes I back down when I shouldn’t have to and in the light of day I don’t like that. I like to fix all the worlds problems and I’m also a runner. My husband he is the complete opposite he is a sulker, a reaper and a venomspitter. I think its something he learnt from his childhood it doesnt make him a bad person just a unfair fighter when it happens. Ordinarily he is patient kind and caring and It takes him awhile to get to that point but when he does he will either sulk and I will going in seeking trying to fix it. Or he is a reaper and brings up the past to which I hate because well the past is the past or he is a spitter; anger gets the better of him and he says what ever venom spits out his mouth at the time. So going to bed and just taking time out of the argument is the best thing we can do. However having said that we have only been in that place a handful of times infact I can count them four becasue in the mean time we do that whole communication thing. We talk about everything before it becomes a problem.
So now knowing that my marriage is safe despite (because it usually is) the war zone going on at that moment I will go to bed angry. I will also say I love you..just to be sure you know…you never know what dangers lurk in your bed. Nine times out of ten we wake up happy chappys. Happy to laugh at the previous days troubles or have a quick round up of a soloution what ever the case. Its usually is the case that you may go to bed angry but wake up and think what the hell was that about and see the situation for what it is or you may find the answer to the situation the next day after a sleep maybe not a good night sleep but a sleep. But at least your argument wasnt resolved on tiredness and emotion. It was founded and ended from a clear head and a steady heart.
Try it..whats the bet you will end up making waffles,
have a great Friday,
xx Deb
PS..Just to reinforce this is just my opions ideas and views. I don’t claim to be a councillor, psychologist or social worker. I am just a mum, wife, secretary, small business owner, carer, chicken feeder, dog walker, child mediator, landscaper, cook and cleaner usually all at the same time. Im just sharing the love that’s all.
Husband goes back to work next week. No biggie we have had a great month. Really good restful month of lots of lazing around and just chilling. We have had a few arguments. A few a ah ha moments. A few I love you’s. A few you really drive me freaking nuts moments. A few laughing so hard I could pee myself moments. We have had a few birthdays; four in total a first for him being home for them in a long, long time. Its been a really good month. Really good.
So like clock work yesterday morning I started setting the alarm to get up at 5am to get back into routine. I start doing most of the chores for both the sake of giving him that extra rest and so I get back into routine. I start with my list to get me through the next month and then I do a a crazy day of extra cook ups so I have plenty of freeezer meals. I get appointments done that would normally require a babysitter something thats hard to come by. I never realised I did it until yesterday but like clock work the office rang and I was setting the alarm. I guess it makes my transition a little easier the shock to the system isnt as great. Its like easying into a cold pool.
Husband has one. He stops working three days before. Refuses to do anything he doesnt want to do. the intensity of hanging out with the boys borders on smothering. Starts packing his bags the days before. Starts loading all the movies on to his hard drive thingy the week before. Starts muttering he has forgotton something days before. Its a routine I never realised we had.
So my lovelies do you have a pre return routine? or am I just the only crazy getting up at 5am a week earlier than I should to easy myself into that cold pool to get through the next swing?
Have a great day.
xx Deb
Now this is not a sponsored post. Just thought I would share a little miracle in a bottle. It could be a placebo affect for me but for me its a great alternative for popping pills. I use it when I have the onset of a headache or I’m feeling just a little frazzled. Its a combination of five flower remedies. It has been around since the 1930’s, it helps settle the nerves and calm the mind. Good for the kiddies also when they are feeling a wee bit cranky. A girlfriend who as a heart condition and a fear of flying recommended it after I told her I was tired of popping pills to get rid of my headaches. She to uses when feeling a little overwhelmed and about to hit the skies. Available from chemist’s and health food stores.
You can read more about it here.
xx Deb