the fifo wife

So we are officially moving into week two of this annoying flu. I’m ticked off its just hanging around just as I feel I’m getting better bam it comes back with vengeance as if to say take that sucker. The kids are taking full advantage of me…I have lost my voice and it has been the last straw…I am unable to scream at the kids so I am hauling myself off to a naturopath tomorrow to drain my lymph glands with some sort of medicinal oil and massage. I am scared- as if the kids aren’t draining enough I will be paying someone to also do it to me.

So on the back of that cheery note here are my few things this LAST WEEK of April.

1. Did my menu plan for the week I’m fairly impressed with myself. Monday Apricot chicken and rice, Tuesday Sausage Roll (meat loaf rolled in pastry lets not kid anyone) with salad, Wednesday Home made Hamburgers, Thursday take away a girl has to rest and Friday Pizza. The weekend is left overs with a breakfast dinner at least once. Routine is good.
2. I haven’t heard from husband since he left Wednesday. I am hoping he hasn’t been taken by pirates..Would be nice if his company was to call me and at least advise me that he made it to the country…hint hint
3. I had a crazy idea that we should all meet up for a dinner…well I have decieded to plan one In a major city somewhere..I will keep you posted with the details…I couldn’t think of anything more amazing than have a drink with a bunch of like minded women.
4. John Gray the author of Men are from Venus says that the reason men ‘must’ lay on the couch and watch sports and not help with the house work is to rebuild the testosterone and the reason we must do the house work is to rebuild our oxytocins apparently if we allow men to help do the house work they will start to create a oxytocins and become more like women surely this can’t be all bad?
5. On finding out that next year all my kids are at school a woman who works several days a week in a rather impressive professional position said to me what will you do with yourself? Will you go back to work? Five days a week of free time? My god. I appreciate she wasn’t being nasty it’s not her nature but what’s so hard to understand that I believe this is my job. I was a little offended but felt the need that to tell her I would do something part time perhaps though she believes that is an attitude of 50 years ago? This right here is my ‘job’ and I think currently I am doing a pretty fine job.
6. I was discussing with a friend that FIFO/DIDO is no longer exclusive to miners or offshore workers but then it never has been. As I have said before station hands, truckies and defence have been doing this for years but interestingly a girlfriend travels to work as a doctor three days a week to the city then for four days interstate once a month. FIFO/DIDO increasing applying to more and more sectors of the work force.
7. Giving a compliment to a work colleague is now considered a no a…wholly moses what is the world coming to…I would have lost my job every single day…weather its a man or a woman someone should be told when they look good or have done great deed. Seriously Nancy pance get your crap together.. jealousy is a curse.
8. This man was deported from Saudi Arabia for being to handsome. Head here to read more. And because I was undecided I checked out his face book page seems he doesn’t mind himself either…which made my mind up right there…
9. Did you know that Marilyn Munroe had plastic surgery? She had a nose job and a chin implant done in 1950. It was paid for by her agent. Head here for other things you may not have known about Ms Munroe.
10. I’m not sure if the flu is starting to affect my brain but I was thinking what ever happened to Paris Hilton? And then I went and goggled. Her…yes I did. I found a type pad account here however it hasn’t been updated since June 2012. Mothers of young girls I think you can start to rest easy…perhaps her star has started to fade if she hasn’t crashed and burnt already.

Have a great week sweets,

Xx Deb

Love Jam drops. This recipe is simple to make and my B3 loves to put the jam in the centre of the biscuit. Would be even better with home made jam in the centre but lets not get to excited..

Jam Drops.

What you will need:

• 125g butter
• 1/2 cup (125g) sugar
• 1 cup (125g) plain flour
• 1 cup (125g) self-raising flour
• 1 teaspoon custard powder
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
• strawberry or raspberry jam

How to:

I’m standing at the kitchen bench this morning making school lunches when it hits me…after nine weeks husband will be back at work tomorrow and I will once again be flying solo…it is a moment of oh crap how am I going to do this? Me, three boys and one teenage girl for goodness knows how long. I stand there knife in hand ready to butter the bread and I suddenly realise I haven’t moved in what feels like hours. I’m frozen with a slight amount of panic and tears well in my eyes. Damn it I say to myself but not as silently as I thought. My husband spins around he is reading the paper; he is here in the kitchen after making a surprise visit home.

What he says. I look at him. Nothing I say. I can’t tell him I am having a moment of doubt that I’m able to do this. After thirteen years of being sure that now I’m unsure.

Quickly I say to myself right, you have two options and its sink or swim. You know how to swim; so at this stage to sink now will be a little embarrassing. You have been doing this thirteen years so what’s the big deal? Deep down I know it is because I’m not feeling well. This flu has got me good. That my biggest fear of becoming ill when husband is away and loosing control somewhat is playing out as we speak. As it is I have already cried more times this last week than I have all year because of this flu but what if it’s not because of that? What if its because I have ‘forgotten’?

I finish making the lunches. With this anxiety if this is what it is comes a feeling of shrinking. I feel small and as I send the kids off to school I feel unsure of myself.  Other mums are standing by their cars talking. I don’t won’t the other mothers to see me feeling like this. I come inside make a coffee and I sit. I’m making a plan of attack sort of in my head but why I have never done so before. I’m thinking too much.

I stop thinking.

What exactly is the problem? Why has this even entered into my mind? It has never happened before. It is a little confusing this feeling of being unsure of myself. I don’t get worried about husband going to work. I’m the woman who people frown upon because I joke that I don’t even stop at the airport any more. Some swings he is lucky if I slow down as he steps out the car door.

This ‘feeling’ is foreign to me so why now?

Is it because we have had nine weeks of him being here and it’s only now that my body has decided to have a sick day. Right now I’m tired that’s all and for nine weeks he has been ours. Nine weeks of him helping out with dinner; the yard, tantrums, taxi runs, book readings, school holidays and scraped knees. Nine weeks of noise but then isn’t this why we do the hard yards which when you think compared to others we have it so easy; we work these four long hard weeks so we can have these long lazy stretches at home?

Yes all that is why and my husband is going to work not a war zone. I’m fortunate that way as so many women and families are not.

I have silenced myself answered my own questions.

Bugger this I say. Bugger feeling like this. This is getting me no where.

Nothing in life is easy I mantra to myself. I really do have two options to sink allow this feeling of anxiety to swallow me or swim as I have been for the last thirteen years. Have faith in myself, in our choice, the decisions that we make and to know that I can do anything. Absolutely anything.

The anxiety if that is what it was leaves me as quickly as it came and in its place is a sense of staunch ‘can do’ and as cliché as it sounds and in my best Brittany accent I say to myself as I launch myself out of the chair; I say let’s do this ‘thang’.

xx Deb

I woke Saturday morning to find my husband sitting in the kitchen I was not due to see him for another month however  his training course finished and the vessel was delayed so they sent him home for a few days before he flies out tomorrow for Sri Lanka hence he surprised us by catching the red eye.

Happy ? Yes indeed. Happy doesn’t even describe it.

It was a welcome surprise as I started too succumbed to the flu Saturday afternoon which saw me in bed all Saturday afternoon and all Sunday. Something I have never ever done and its my one fear as a FIFO wife, becoming ill when he is away. Touch wood its happened just the once; lasted just the day and my kids were angels.

It’s been years since I have had the flu not a cold no there is a significant difference between the two. So my few things this week is sparse as I drifted in and out of sleep over the weekend. Yet this morning is Monday obviously and there is no time for the sick there is work to do and I have the flu not cancer and it’s time to get my crap together..

So here are my few things this Monday morning.

1. I was sick over the weekend; as mentioned. The care and attention I received was almost addictive however the thought of another day in bed was filled with dread and well here we are.
2. For those that have emailed me and I haven’t got back to you please be patient I have lost a little control in the email department and currently have more emails than Paris Hilton does Chihuahua’s.
3. Renee Witherspoon was arrested over the weekend and was recorded to have said don’t you know my name? Apparently they did not. Have you met anyone famous? I have through the hotels I worked in and met a ‘few’ and took great delight in treating them like a regular Joe…it gets them on their good side…
4. My husband called me last week and asked what I was doing. Cleaning up vomit I said…there was a long pause on the end of the phone…what are you doing I said? Walking out of the gold class cinema….’right’ was the only word I said.
5. I read some cleaning tips it showed you how to clean between the glass panels in your oven. I clicked started reading then I realised it meant too much work effort and so I closed and decided that having a little grease between the panels is a good thing it shows people I bake. Much preferable to them guessing I don’t…because I’m sure that’s what they think when they walk in to my kitchen however if you need to know how to clean the glass panels head here
6. Nothing irritates me more than a damsel in distress attitude actually no there is a damsel in distress that plays dumb…seriously annoys the crap out of me. I have no time for you…at all.
7. Have you watched the Dove real beauty campaign video that is currently doing the rounds? If you had to describe yourself how easy would it be to say something positive? How easy would you find it to say I have beautiful long eyelashes, big grey eyes and a long elegant neck instead of: I’m a plain Jane, I have big bug grey eyes, a bump in my nose and a big long neck. We forget how our vision of ourselves affects the life we portray and more so to our children. It’s something I’m try to change yet it’s a struggle to get past that mind set. I know for myself and others we get so caught up in what others think that if we say something nice about ourselves people might think we are full of themselves. Seriously how dumb is that.
8. Durex has invented and is trialling vibrating underwear that via a phone application that can be activated by your partner…sexting has a whole new meaning…needless to say I have contacted Durex on behalf of FIFO partners across Australia for a sample pack..
9. A topless barber shop has opened in Brisbane…I have nothing to say…accept really? And I’m glad my husband cuts his own hair…read more about it here
10. A girl has snorted a condom as a party trick…it’s on you tube..of course…it’s gross, I haven’t watched it just read about it and I have no desire to redirect you there. My only question is why?

Well that is it my sweets. Do you have any cool party tricks or have you ever met anyone famous? And describe three things to me about yourself in a positive light…

Xx Deb

Autumn has been here since March but the real cooler weather; the kind where you are searching for that extra blanket during the night and cursing yourself for not having invested in a heated toilet seat is almost upon us. Slowly but surely the nights are cooling down and one of my favourite months; Winter is on its way.

So this morning at 430 am when I put my crooked little toes on the floor I realised I shouldn’t have been so tight and brought those pretty wool lined slippers I saw last week and so with a curse and a sigh I realised I needed to get ready for winter today. Otherwise tomorrow morning I will be cursing myself for not having done it yesterday.

Now as you are my friends and I would not want your little tootsies suffering the delight that is a cold floor on an equally cold morning when you are in just a thin cotton nightie the only benefit is to your husband, it with great gusto I tell you to get ready for winter. Having said that and all that is to follow my friends don’t say I didn’t warn you that winter is on its way and perhaps you need to consider this today.

Change your sheets to flannels; air your blankets and doonas or duvets depending where you’re from. Check electric blankets and ensure they are still good working order.

Vacuum your mattress and turn them. Buy new pillows or wash the ones you have put them in the dryer to fluff them up (read the instructions always, always first).

Put away or donate summer clothing that can’t be used in winter. Pull out coats, jumpers, scarves and boots. Look at slippers, singlets and hats. Check you have good PJ’s and for kids ensure they have are not flammable. Put away excess clothing keeps things organised and easier to find. Dry clean and mend what needs to mended at put away.

Pull out jeans and check they fit-properly none of this muffin top business ; if you are like me you have realised that ‘they’ have shrunk in storage and require a new pair buy them a good decent pair in fact buy two and a smashing new coat. Go on you; you deserve it. Need help deciding what style of coat read this here. Husbands all complaints to the following email: soitsanewcoat@howoftendoesshespendmoneyonherself.com.au

Buy a Snuggie…can’t bring yourself to do it…think not on your nelly? Well then check out Mrs. Woog…she makes the snuggie cool. Truly she does. It is essential for winter TV viewing when the husband is at work and the kids are in bed and you have full control over the TV remote. You may never leave the couch.

Buy a pair of gum boots, wellies, rain boots what ever part of the world you are from. BUY. A. PAIR. Seriously I have a pair well three for all occasions… pig pen, a pair for chasing the rooster in at 550am so he doesnt need to be killed purely because he crows and then I have a pair for market weekends. They range from butt ugly to fur lined in a beautiful red. Cant think of the correct shade of red but they are yum..and the fur is faux no animals were killed in the sake of my vanity. You will never have wet feet again standing on the football field again.

Get your flu shots if you need to.

Start taking a probiotic. Seriously I believe they shorten not prevent any illness; the Americans actually prescribe probiotics with every prescription of antibiotics. Probiotics can be taken in a tablet or capsule or in yogurt they are natural and have an amazing amount of benefit.

Check that heaters, chimneys and flues are clear and still in good working order. Clean the filters in your reverse cycle air conditioners. While you’re at change batteries for your smoke alarms.

Order fire wood instead scavenging what you can from the local bush like a feral hermit in your cotton nightie before you run out the morning it hit minus six.

Try and plug up draft points. I’m only suggesting this I can’t do it…I have too many vents aka holes my house its 100 years old if I could I would but I can’t Miter Ten doesn’t hold that amount of putty and no gaps.

Have a kids inside kit ready to go if you don’t already have one and this is something other than the TV. A craft box is ideal.  I could lie and tell you I have a fantastic craft box. I don’t its my kitchen draw with play dough, pencils, paper and some paint but it works on days when it’s cold and drizzling outside.

Then all there is left to do is invest in some hot chocolate and perhaps some wine for the biggies. Grab a TV blanket or snuggie if you bit the bullet and enjoy the cooler months where snuggling is mandatory with all loved ones.

Any tips on getting ready for winter? Or perhaps you can offer some advice on how to stop a rooster from crowing? My neighbours are currently eyeing him off for some red rooster..

xx Deb