the fifo wife

Love Jam drops. This recipe is simple to make and my B3 loves to put the jam in the centre of the biscuit. Would be even better with home made jam in the centre but lets not get to excited..

Jam Drops.

What you will need:

• 125g butter
• 1/2 cup (125g) sugar
• 1 cup (125g) plain flour
• 1 cup (125g) self-raising flour
• 1 teaspoon custard powder
• 1 egg
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
• strawberry or raspberry jam

How to:

I’m standing at the kitchen bench this morning making school lunches when it hits me…after nine weeks husband will be back at work tomorrow and I will once again be flying solo…it is a moment of oh crap how am I going to do this? Me, three boys and one teenage girl for goodness knows how long. I stand there knife in hand ready to butter the bread and I suddenly realise I haven’t moved in what feels like hours. I’m frozen with a slight amount of panic and tears well in my eyes. Damn it I say to myself but not as silently as I thought. My husband spins around he is reading the paper; he is here in the kitchen after making a surprise visit home.

What he says. I look at him. Nothing I say. I can’t tell him I am having a moment of doubt that I’m able to do this. After thirteen years of being sure that now I’m unsure.

Quickly I say to myself right, you have two options and its sink or swim. You know how to swim; so at this stage to sink now will be a little embarrassing. You have been doing this thirteen years so what’s the big deal? Deep down I know it is because I’m not feeling well. This flu has got me good. That my biggest fear of becoming ill when husband is away and loosing control somewhat is playing out as we speak. As it is I have already cried more times this last week than I have all year because of this flu but what if it’s not because of that? What if its because I have ‘forgotten’?

I finish making the lunches. With this anxiety if this is what it is comes a feeling of shrinking. I feel small and as I send the kids off to school I feel unsure of myself.  Other mums are standing by their cars talking. I don’t won’t the other mothers to see me feeling like this. I come inside make a coffee and I sit. I’m making a plan of attack sort of in my head but why I have never done so before. I’m thinking too much.

I stop thinking.

What exactly is the problem? Why has this even entered into my mind? It has never happened before. It is a little confusing this feeling of being unsure of myself. I don’t get worried about husband going to work. I’m the woman who people frown upon because I joke that I don’t even stop at the airport any more. Some swings he is lucky if I slow down as he steps out the car door.

This ‘feeling’ is foreign to me so why now?

Is it because we have had nine weeks of him being here and it’s only now that my body has decided to have a sick day. Right now I’m tired that’s all and for nine weeks he has been ours. Nine weeks of him helping out with dinner; the yard, tantrums, taxi runs, book readings, school holidays and scraped knees. Nine weeks of noise but then isn’t this why we do the hard yards which when you think compared to others we have it so easy; we work these four long hard weeks so we can have these long lazy stretches at home?

Yes all that is why and my husband is going to work not a war zone. I’m fortunate that way as so many women and families are not.

I have silenced myself answered my own questions.

Bugger this I say. Bugger feeling like this. This is getting me no where.

Nothing in life is easy I mantra to myself. I really do have two options to sink allow this feeling of anxiety to swallow me or swim as I have been for the last thirteen years. Have faith in myself, in our choice, the decisions that we make and to know that I can do anything. Absolutely anything.

The anxiety if that is what it was leaves me as quickly as it came and in its place is a sense of staunch ‘can do’ and as cliché as it sounds and in my best Brittany accent I say to myself as I launch myself out of the chair; I say let’s do this ‘thang’.

xx Deb

I woke Saturday morning to find my husband sitting in the kitchen I was not due to see him for another month however  his training course finished and the vessel was delayed so they sent him home for a few days before he flies out tomorrow for Sri Lanka hence he surprised us by catching the red eye.

Happy ? Yes indeed. Happy doesn’t even describe it.

It was a welcome surprise as I started too succumbed to the flu Saturday afternoon which saw me in bed all Saturday afternoon and all Sunday. Something I have never ever done and its my one fear as a FIFO wife, becoming ill when he is away. Touch wood its happened just the once; lasted just the day and my kids were angels.

It’s been years since I have had the flu not a cold no there is a significant difference between the two. So my few things this week is sparse as I drifted in and out of sleep over the weekend. Yet this morning is Monday obviously and there is no time for the sick there is work to do and I have the flu not cancer and it’s time to get my crap together..

So here are my few things this Monday morning.

1. I was sick over the weekend; as mentioned. The care and attention I received was almost addictive however the thought of another day in bed was filled with dread and well here we are.
2. For those that have emailed me and I haven’t got back to you please be patient I have lost a little control in the email department and currently have more emails than Paris Hilton does Chihuahua’s.
3. Renee Witherspoon was arrested over the weekend and was recorded to have said don’t you know my name? Apparently they did not. Have you met anyone famous? I have through the hotels I worked in and met a ‘few’ and took great delight in treating them like a regular Joe…it gets them on their good side…
4. My husband called me last week and asked what I was doing. Cleaning up vomit I said…there was a long pause on the end of the phone…what are you doing I said? Walking out of the gold class cinema….’right’ was the only word I said.
5. I read some cleaning tips it showed you how to clean between the glass panels in your oven. I clicked started reading then I realised it meant too much work effort and so I closed and decided that having a little grease between the panels is a good thing it shows people I bake. Much preferable to them guessing I don’t…because I’m sure that’s what they think when they walk in to my kitchen however if you need to know how to clean the glass panels head here
6. Nothing irritates me more than a damsel in distress attitude actually no there is a damsel in distress that plays dumb…seriously annoys the crap out of me. I have no time for you…at all.
7. Have you watched the Dove real beauty campaign video that is currently doing the rounds? If you had to describe yourself how easy would it be to say something positive? How easy would you find it to say I have beautiful long eyelashes, big grey eyes and a long elegant neck instead of: I’m a plain Jane, I have big bug grey eyes, a bump in my nose and a big long neck. We forget how our vision of ourselves affects the life we portray and more so to our children. It’s something I’m try to change yet it’s a struggle to get past that mind set. I know for myself and others we get so caught up in what others think that if we say something nice about ourselves people might think we are full of themselves. Seriously how dumb is that.
8. Durex has invented and is trialling vibrating underwear that via a phone application that can be activated by your partner…sexting has a whole new meaning…needless to say I have contacted Durex on behalf of FIFO partners across Australia for a sample pack..
9. A topless barber shop has opened in Brisbane…I have nothing to say…accept really? And I’m glad my husband cuts his own hair…read more about it here
10. A girl has snorted a condom as a party trick…it’s on you tube..of course…it’s gross, I haven’t watched it just read about it and I have no desire to redirect you there. My only question is why?

Well that is it my sweets. Do you have any cool party tricks or have you ever met anyone famous? And describe three things to me about yourself in a positive light…

Xx Deb

Autumn has been here since March but the real cooler weather; the kind where you are searching for that extra blanket during the night and cursing yourself for not having invested in a heated toilet seat is almost upon us. Slowly but surely the nights are cooling down and one of my favourite months; Winter is on its way.

So this morning at 430 am when I put my crooked little toes on the floor I realised I shouldn’t have been so tight and brought those pretty wool lined slippers I saw last week and so with a curse and a sigh I realised I needed to get ready for winter today. Otherwise tomorrow morning I will be cursing myself for not having done it yesterday.

Now as you are my friends and I would not want your little tootsies suffering the delight that is a cold floor on an equally cold morning when you are in just a thin cotton nightie the only benefit is to your husband, it with great gusto I tell you to get ready for winter. Having said that and all that is to follow my friends don’t say I didn’t warn you that winter is on its way and perhaps you need to consider this today.

Change your sheets to flannels; air your blankets and doonas or duvets depending where you’re from. Check electric blankets and ensure they are still good working order.

Vacuum your mattress and turn them. Buy new pillows or wash the ones you have put them in the dryer to fluff them up (read the instructions always, always first).

Put away or donate summer clothing that can’t be used in winter. Pull out coats, jumpers, scarves and boots. Look at slippers, singlets and hats. Check you have good PJ’s and for kids ensure they have are not flammable. Put away excess clothing keeps things organised and easier to find. Dry clean and mend what needs to mended at put away.

Pull out jeans and check they fit-properly none of this muffin top business ; if you are like me you have realised that ‘they’ have shrunk in storage and require a new pair buy them a good decent pair in fact buy two and a smashing new coat. Go on you; you deserve it. Need help deciding what style of coat read this here. Husbands all complaints to the following email: soitsanewcoat@howoftendoesshespendmoneyonherself.com.au

Buy a Snuggie…can’t bring yourself to do it…think not on your nelly? Well then check out Mrs. Woog…she makes the snuggie cool. Truly she does. It is essential for winter TV viewing when the husband is at work and the kids are in bed and you have full control over the TV remote. You may never leave the couch.

Buy a pair of gum boots, wellies, rain boots what ever part of the world you are from. BUY. A. PAIR. Seriously I have a pair well three for all occasions… pig pen, a pair for chasing the rooster in at 550am so he doesnt need to be killed purely because he crows and then I have a pair for market weekends. They range from butt ugly to fur lined in a beautiful red. Cant think of the correct shade of red but they are yum..and the fur is faux no animals were killed in the sake of my vanity. You will never have wet feet again standing on the football field again.

Get your flu shots if you need to.

Start taking a probiotic. Seriously I believe they shorten not prevent any illness; the Americans actually prescribe probiotics with every prescription of antibiotics. Probiotics can be taken in a tablet or capsule or in yogurt they are natural and have an amazing amount of benefit.

Check that heaters, chimneys and flues are clear and still in good working order. Clean the filters in your reverse cycle air conditioners. While you’re at change batteries for your smoke alarms.

Order fire wood instead scavenging what you can from the local bush like a feral hermit in your cotton nightie before you run out the morning it hit minus six.

Try and plug up draft points. I’m only suggesting this I can’t do it…I have too many vents aka holes my house its 100 years old if I could I would but I can’t Miter Ten doesn’t hold that amount of putty and no gaps.

Have a kids inside kit ready to go if you don’t already have one and this is something other than the TV. A craft box is ideal.  I could lie and tell you I have a fantastic craft box. I don’t its my kitchen draw with play dough, pencils, paper and some paint but it works on days when it’s cold and drizzling outside.

Then all there is left to do is invest in some hot chocolate and perhaps some wine for the biggies. Grab a TV blanket or snuggie if you bit the bullet and enjoy the cooler months where snuggling is mandatory with all loved ones.

Any tips on getting ready for winter? Or perhaps you can offer some advice on how to stop a rooster from crowing? My neighbours are currently eyeing him off for some red rooster..

xx Deb

My kids have grown up with FIFO life. Daddy going to work for four weeks at a time is normal for them. Its also normal for them to have daddy home for four weeks at a time and they often ask why other daddy’s are not attending swimming lessons or not at the school carnivals. They understand why we work this way however that is not to say that they don’t miss him. They do at some point usually on week three start to miss him and in saying that its really verbal it is to this point never behavioural which if it was its time to give this FIFO gig away but when the misses set on week three we start the count down and that is a welcome distraction for everyone.

Currently husband has been gone just two days and already B2 is saying he misses Daddy and whilst I think he does I also think its way of saying I’m thinking of daddy and I love him because when I say would you like daddy to work like other dad’s and come home he will ask the same thing: will daddy play with us as much? When I say no probably not but he will indeed play with you as much as he can his answer is always the same no thanks; I just miss him is all. B2 is the one who misses daddy the most. He is daddy’s right hand man..always..B2 is most like me so husband jokes its only natural given how much I love him..perhaps he has a point.

Along with the kids having the odd bout of missing him so do I. I would worry if I did not however when I do its fleeting. I don’t spend hours,days weeping or mopping around the house for him. I never allow it go on for to long especially on long days. Its not helpful for me, husband or more importantly the kids. The kids ask often if I miss daddy and I always say of course but daddy is at work not on a holiday juant somewhere and we have a job to do to.

Yet on the swings that are long. Where we have had sickness, Murphy’s Law or just a rough month I try to create welcome distractions. Not massive events but little changes to the daily routine every now and then. Usually they are picnics out at the dam, lake or having breakfast and dinners at the boys favourite park. When the kids were all at home most days we picnicked outside under our favourite grapefruit tree and ate at the dam every Tuesday it was part of the routine but now with school and homework I do it when I can. I have a picnic kit always ready to go and it never takes much to throw some sausages and bread in the basket. Its usually impromptu and a little exciting for the boys. Its also an escape out of the house. Which is vital for escaping a case of the ‘misses’

I also take the opportunity when their is ‘seasonal holidays’ like St Patrick’s, Halloween, Easter, valentines etc to have a little party. I appreciate that they are often American holidays and until had children I didn’t celebrate them but again it provides a welcome distraction for them and some planning for me that’s a little different to the normal. For these ‘parties’ we have our normal dinner but I decorate the kitchen a little and bake some appropriately themed cup cakes or biscuits. We don’t have dessert often so having cake after dinner is an event in its self.

Something else I have found helpful is to have a calender in the boys room that they can do a count down on and work out for themselves how many sleeps are left. We have the calender where its a month to a page and the dates are big enough to write something in. The boys will often assign themselves a job each day to prepare for daddy coming home or they use it organise their own outing with daddy such as fishing and getting everything they need ready for that. Its something they can plan and think about; creating another welcome distraction and something to look forward to.

So today after a rather revolting start to the swing we are starting it again with a welcome distraction by having sausages and bread for dinner at our local park.

What do you do as distractions when the ‘misses’ set in..

xx Deb