FIFO husband and has been home two nights. Last night he decided not to do bedtime and go to fire brigade, early. The FIFO boys were needless to say where somewhat disappointed.
When he returned home the boys were asleep. He went to check on them, laid with them while they slept and then came out to see me. Where they okay that I left he said…yep didn’t even notice I said trying not to show I was ticked off that he choose a catch up with his mates over bed time with his boys.
Oh well I am just a third wheel he said. What? I said. He repeated like I hadn’t heard and he hadn’t heard the sarcasm in my voice. He has said this crap once before and well I just can’t be bothered with it. I’m never sure if it’s a guilt trip for my benefit or not. I’m not sure and quite frankly I don’t care.
I need a word I said to him. It was bed time for me and I don’t sleep well on a cranky stomach.
What he said…like he didn’t freaking know.
Third wheel? Is that how you feel? Yes I do he said without blinking.
Well this is our reality. Unmake yourself a third wheel or quite simply we sell everything and go back to living like Joe blow down the road which we have never done but if you really feel like a third wheel let’s give it ago shall we?
We can’t do that he said. Why not I ask? I can’t listen to that type of crap every other month I said. It doesn’t sit well with me.
Because we can’t. You would have to go back to work and who would look after the kids? We couldn’t have what we have if I didn’t work away.
Exactly. You want it as much as I do so let’s just drop the crap, suck it up and get on with it.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else?
Xx Deb
Ps. wear sunscreen girls and plenty of it..
Hey Deb
Hugs to you and sorry to hear you are having these kinds of issues which I have also experienced in the past and most recently. Perhaps you could tell him the truth that yes, your boys were disappointed and maybe he could adjust his catchup times with his friends in the future a little further along into his time at home and maybe at a more family friendly timeslot? An interesting thing our counsellor said was that the FIFO husband doesn’t realise that when they work away from home, it’s all or nothing for us back home – the husband is either all there or not – and it’s a hard thing for the whole family to get used to. So when he’s home, you want him all to yourself naturally but I guess we also need to allow them some regular male friendship time as well, just like regular husbands have. So maybe some sort of compromise may work.
Good luck!