I get asked a lot about loneliness. A lot. The nights are and the weekends are probably the hardest parts but I will be honest those feelings of loneliness well they are few and far between. Perhaps its because well I enjoy my own compay (a result of being an only child), perhaps I have been doing this to long but I like to think its becasue I have learnt to enjoy the quiet, the stillness the nights and early mornings can bring. I enjoy the down time once the boys are in bed far too much. Just me and some trashy television. That is apparently a ‘choice of solitude: a feeling of restorative peaceful and creative’ (although I’m not sure how creative trashy tv is) which is different to loneliness which is draining, distracting and upsetting.
So I don’t usually allow myself to get lonely that leads to to many other problems and I don’t have time for that. By other problems I mean the blues then the blues turn to well the constant blues aka depression. See I just don’t have time for that. Depression and me just don’t work well together..I get all angry and stuff. Not good for anyone. But last night its was cold and well despite my really good trashy TV I think I was a little lonely. I usually combat the nights leaving the lights on and a radio constantly blares in the kitchen but even last night in the coldness it just wasn’t working.
Nights really are only my only issue. I learnt how to handle the lonely days when I was a ‘single girl’ dating husband following him all over the freaking country. My first few weeks arriving in a new state where I knew absolutely no one were the worst. So on the days when I wasn’t job hunting which later then become the weekends I would pack up the car and take myself for a drive. I learnt the state of WA and Qld off the back of my hand and so when he returned from deployment I took him to all my favorite haunts. Getting out and just talking to a petrol attendant or cafe waitress left me feeling less alone in the big cities.
I joined gyms and I kept my routines(there is that word routine AGAIN) from when I was living in Darwin. I foraged through markets on a Saturday and I scouted out galleries to attend on Sundays. During the week after work I would go to the gym, walk the dogs just got outside. It made that time between making connections with people less lonely. Now I have kids I do pretty much the same. If I feel abit lonely (which is a strange concept…your surrounded by people but your lonely…lol) I throw everyone in the car and go for a drive to a friends, a park or just to see something new. Just doing something or going somewhere is invigorating and keeps you sane. Again its all about choice people. What you do how you think how you feel is all about choice.
Yet if you are seriously battling loneliness all the time and its altering your lifestyle in a negative way its time to see someone. Now.
So what did I do last night to combat this odd fleeting moment of loneliness and perhaps even missing the FIFO husband on the cold cold night? Missing his ability to radiate a room with his hotness …lol.. Normally I work on my shop or my little blog but I didn’t want to and that’s how I knew I was a little well ‘off’ so I went to bed. It was too cold not to and well the trashy TV just wasn’t doing it for me. So here I am now..fully charged after the best sleep another determining factor in keeping depression and loneliness at bay. Even getting up to that stupid beeping alarm at 330am this morning hasnt detered my love for a new day (singing birds start…now) and the impending weekend and we all know how much I love the weekends.
So what do you do lovelies? At night (or day) to keep loneliness at bay? How do you cope?