“How do you handle fly-out day?” I get asked that question a lot.
Followed by when do you tell the kids and what do you tell the kids? And what do you on fly out day?
Telling them the truth is a good one I say, and I also don’t think making a fuss of fly out day is a good idea. It’s just mum or dad going back to work. They aren’t leaving to go on a holiday or going because they want to. They are leaving to work, make a better life, to make some money, to pay the bills like every other tom, dick and harry. I do think however making a couple of preparations to make moving back into swing easier as well as just allowing everyone to routine easier.
As soon as we know when my husband is flying out, we tell the kids. There is no need to explain that he is going to work because they know. The sea is my husband’s place of work. We don’t do a countdown to fly out we just tell them that dad is going back to work next week, this Friday, tomorrow and then this morning.
Once upon a time, they would travel down to the airport, and we would drop off and drive off. Goodbyes were short and sweet to save me on tears and pulled heart strings. I notice that as soon as the husband gets in the car, he is in work mode, and as soon as I kiss him goodbye, I am. Our switches are flipped, and we are in work mode. We don’t dwell on the goodbye- too much. Now the kids are in school they say goodbye in the morning, and off they go to school.
Whether it be that we travel down together as a family or solo to the airport before we leave home, I turn the lights on, have the radio going, and have dinner in the slow cooker. It makes the house less lonely when we get home. The husband takes his extra noise and animation with him when he goes, and so those preparations at home combat the stark reality that the weekend is over and we are back at work.
If the kids are with me when heading to the airport, we stop at a park, shopping centre or Mc Donald’s for a short time. I found it’s just another way for them to transition to me being the main parent and that dad is at work, although he never stops parenting even from 4000 kilometres away. (It’s amazing what a stern talking to on the phone will do)
Its 90 minutes from the airport so there is that added time to adjust and so when we get home we just hang out, watch TV and plan out our goals for the month. Someone called it grieving once and lots of others the fly out day blues and when the kids were little I did too but to do everything better I have come to call it, “adjusting”. Dad takes with his “noise” with him and grieving, or the blues doesn’t sound right to me. Transition and adjusting can sometimes be emotionally tiring and so TV, comfort food and couch time is just what we need before starting the working month, and it gets us ready for the month of growth ahead of us.
We tackle each working swing with some strategy because work is always about moving forward making life better.
{image taken from my husband’s book. Available for purchase here}
