a fifo wife {fifo life: a rant..}

We are coming to the end of the swing and even though husband came home half way through for four days to which I’m very grateful to his crew for allowing him to attend the funeral I cant wait to see him, it feels like weeks. The past month like every month has been full on and yesterday saw my B2’s kindergarten Christmas party the final school event of the year I’m hoping. We of course attended with out husband because of obviously he was at work which many other fathers were and that in itself is a drag but never more so than when someone has watched 60 minutes and then feels the need to point it out that my husband is indeed absent.

Having been at this point of conversation before its usually from that point on I start doing my best Wonder Woman (because she really was a little sexy) impersonation and deflection methods. Imagine me in my wonder woman cape and crown right about now if you would. Fighting the good fight for FIFO families every where who are happy with the decision that they have made for their family. Happy to wade through the hard times and look forward to the good. They own their decision understand nothing in life is easy and if you want to make good money and have decent time off then situations like B2’s kindy party is going to happen but you are dually compensated for it in the form of a good pay packet.

So me in a pair of tights and a crown now if you would its not a pretty thought but you get the gidgst of the power positivity and strength of the good fight. Now almost always I’m successful in deferring their unintentional ‘negativity’ like a true ninja but broken sleep saw me suck up their continuing questions and despite my firm answers and cheery disposition just their desire to question me further on ‘how hard it must be for me and what about the children’ stayed with me through the afternoon and even now in the morning.

Why after I said its right for us did they feel the need to continue with ‘still it must be hard on you’ after all I didn’t feel the need to question her about her decision not to teach her child any manners or why as woman in her fifties was she wearing a Lycra skirt?

Damn you 60 minutes and no I didn’t watch it. On purpose. I’m so over the pity party thing. If this is you leave now. Unsubscribe unfriend me what ever but don’t continue reading I don’t want the trolls or the horrible comments because I will delete them. Negativity and crap attitudes are not wanted here. It makes me sad. It leaves me frustrated and angry which in turn just leaves me yelling at my kids and you don’t want to be responsible for that now do you?

So here we go the rant.

FIFO is a choice seriously. We are not the first nor are we the last defence, truckies, explorers and station hands have been doing this long before us but we are is the first to be compensated for missing birthdays and Christmas. Life is a choice. FIFO is a choice. Don’t tell me its ruining your marriage, giving you a drinking problem, making your kids fat, these things are happening as a direct result of a choice you have made. Sitting at the bar will do that, not talking to your loved ones because your happier sitting at that bar rather than being with your family is your choice suffer the consequence. Spent all your money at the bar or on that over priced self deprecating car then its your choice. If your depressed seek treatment for goodness sake real depression it will kill you and no I’m not heartless I have been their and done that too. So make your choice and own it don’t whinge about it. No one likes a whinger. No one. Do the job or don’t. Its simple. Need help get it. Ask for it go in search for it. Rarely in life will things come to you and we all need a little help sometimes. Can I help you? Asking for help doesn’t make you more or less of a person.

And just to get in right now if you are on that 28/7 and you don’t like it (been there done that I know how hard it is I’m not saying its not) do it till you get something else (we did) or you get what you need from it but do something about it. Don’t loose site of things. Money cant fix families or people.

Now again in case you missed my point FIFO is a choice, make your choice own it and get some perspective I don’t hear the poor defence members creating such a who ha because they cant get life insurance because when they do FIFO someone is usually trying to kill them or that their kids are becoming rude and intolerable because their father is on a six month deployment with limited or no communication. I don’t hear any one creating an uproar about that. Probably because they literally knew what they signed up for terrible conditions, long deployments, serious life threatening situations and may I point out as a former defence wife very little money or recognition.

So if you signed up for FIFO and were naively unaware how hard it was and you don’t like it then for the benefit of yourself and your family stop doing FIFO its that simple and do something else it doesn’t make you less of a person for saying you cant do it.

Just do something else. Gain a little perspective and accountability please.

Life is to short for being unhappy.

x Deb