One of the most commen questions Im asked is how often does your FIFO husband call when he is away? And why doesnt my FIFO husband talk to me when he is away?
The answer for me is sometimes its three times a day to twice a week. Sometimes he is as chatty as a parrot at a theme park other times its like pulling teeth and I do all the talking. And Im okay with that.
The reality of it is this. He works 12 hours days. He works with the same people day in day out and see’s the same people day in day out. So he doesnt really have a lot to say. His days are the same. He doesnt really wont to talk work. He just rings to check that we are all good but my reality is the same my world stops turning when he goes to work and my life is much the same routine its just the scenery is different.
His work is hard work and its exhausting. Sometimes depending on where he is ie the time difference by the time he has finished his shift, done his washing and unwound usually going to the gym I am in bed or Im on my way and we might message instead. Sometimes if he is moving a vessel I wont hear from him for several days. Some days he will give me a quick call as he passes the phone, thinks about it and has the time to call. Those surprise ‘I wasnt expecting you to ring’ are my favourite. Still we dont have much to say but I love you. Often he cant get to the phone. He cant call on a mobile and often there is one phone to 90 men. He usually has seven minutes once a day. They are timed and Im always listening for the beep. But on top of email, instant message and video calls we are always in contact. Always.
However my bad habit, I have a terrible memory so most of the phone call I spend trying to recall what I have to tell him. My bad. Now as soon as I remeber anything I try and write it down otherwise Im struggling.
So do I worry that I dont hear from him or that we have nothing to say? Or he has nothing to say? No.
I would worry however if he got home and we had nothing to say. Nothing but akward silence. Now thats a problem. But the case is usually he cant shut up and I cant stop smiling.
How about you lovelies?
Have a great Wednesday,
xx Deb
lol..nice..yes its a wee chilly..still in the teens at lunchtime minus tonight apprently nice..lol..xxd
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My FIFO hubby and I chat everyday, I ask him to ” check in” when he is done so I know he has not been run over by a truck or some other irrational thought that goes through my head, then at that time he tells me if he will ring back later if he is up to it. Reception on the island is rotten, so we barely get to Skype and it is usually only on his half day. I hear it is quite brisk in your neck of the woods this morning, so I hope ‘ big house’ is treating you well 🙂 Bernadette
I love this blog!!!! it has a way of getting the casual chat that we might have at home, while i am out here, I will admit that from the first time that i rang FIFO Wife after i was given her number( firstly to see if it was not a hox number she might give to the guys to brush them off) i was hooked i needed to get that fix she is addictive, She is my piece of home, finishes the puzzle that is our life, I always get a better feeling when it is an unexpeted call it warms me knowing it did the same, short and sweet, our fly bys as you may say. the new way of the old hidden notes you would find in your wallet ,bag packed for work. small thing mean more that big gesters, just like
Deb loves the randome cuddle no reason for it just another fly by.
I read FIFO wifes blog each day, more times than not at night, once the job is done, to me is just like being at home when we can listen to the silance that crepted up on us, after the sun went down, with the moon shining bright, the boys stopped their banter in their room, the tv is off, it is just us like it use to be , trying to talk without the interruptions of B1 B2 or B3, this is the time of the day that we talk every about everything and anything and this is what FIFO wife shares with you, relish in the conversation
To know what it is that you have is knowing that you are happy truly. We are great together, i know what it is that i have in my wife and if it not for the suport and backing of her we would not be here, every great achievment is done with more suport for FIFO Wife that i would give my self.
What this blog has showed me is that there are a lot of wifives like mine who are strong, honest and have a story alot like ours.
In a way feeling alone , some judge this life who cares get on with it be a strong role model for you children learn how to change a tyre, don’t rely on roadside assistance, this is what make Deb great in my eyes, our boys are a product of her it has to be said she has more time with them but i have pictures one day, every day saved to my computer sent via email, phone or downloaded form home, i have not missed a single thing in their lives because of this, it runs on my screen saver daily, our babies to the superman, spiderman, and ben 10 of today.
These are small things that mean more than the great gestures, if this helps you with the life style of the FIFO industry i can only say what you have is a great insight to our marriage we like to think it works it has so far,also know it can not be done without my Family with these structures that Deb talks about, that is all that is needed to get though this job.
Sweet dreams baby hope you have a great sleep
Lots of love F
I speak to my FIFO husband every day when he’s away, but I’ve been naughty there as I argued with him on that point for a long while. So he rings me everyday. I can tell he doesn’t always want to. Sometimes he does, but when he doesn’t because he’s busy or tired… it shows. I am learning now how controlling I’ve been of him to have my needs met, and I regret it. So i am backing down now and if he calls, he will be calling because he wants to and has time for a chat. If he doesn’t, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss me or have time for me, just not when I want him to have time.
I still have a lot to learn! But he is so happy now I’m backing down on being so controlling. HOW did that happen!! I didn’t mean to!
Anyway, thanks for this post – and your whole blog! It is so helpful to see how others do it as I have no friends or family with FIFO husbands. xx
My hubby is in the same time-zone thankfully but we usually talk each night on Skype 🙂
Sometimes it’s a good ol talk and other days it’s very quick 🙂
His days are long and sound the same as your husband where it’s 12 hours work, shower, eat, washing and sleep. If he’s lucky he might get time to have a few beers with the boys or watch a little TV.
I am 38.3 weeks pregnant now so Skyping will become a lot more interesting soon as it’s usually 8pm on the dot to make it easier for us, I foresee our future call times becoming a lot more random lol but it will be lovely to be able to show him his lil man each night (depending on how tired mummy is and if the camera reaches).
So, there you go, that’s me n my gorgeous hubby’s talking life while he is away 🙂