Today six years ago I was ten days over due and had a gutful literally. I wanted him out of me. I demanded and I do mean demand to be induced…stupid really but that’s my nature..I learn by my mistakes..I shouldve waited for him to come when he was ready. I was induced the next day because despite the attending sticking both his hands in a place that really shouldn’t go this baby still didn’t get the hint it was time to move on out, something that is true to his nature and I dont doubt that it will follow him into adult hood. I dont think this child will ever leave home.
Anyway so being induced is painful more so than ordinary labour they tell me and worst part is you are strapped to a bed, with drips and monitors. You cant go anywhere can’t do anything. Its painful. You cant imagine the pain you really can’t unless of course you have been there. So after ten hours I wanted a epidural I tried so hard to go natural. Crazy part was I was worried about being noisey making a scene embarrassing myself..the things you learn because as I learn there is no such thing as shame and modesty when giving birth.
The nigh before being induced I remeber saying to my husband on the way home in the car I have a high pain threshold I don’t need a birth plan (something most pregnacy books had suggested) I dont need to know how the birth will unfold and whilst it may upset some people I’m sorry birth plans are a silly idea good in theory I suppose it lessens the fear of the unknown, thinking that you have some sort of control. But I know women that get so stuck on birth plans its crazy giving birth is not something you can control you have to go with the flow and whats right for you and the baby. My birth plan (the one in my naive little mind) was Id be induced in a few hours he’ll be out, I’ll be out walking home the next day looking fab and thats as far as a the birth plan went..I’ll be right..after all if the hippie down the road ala natural so can I do it I can. Yes well, what she failed to tell me was the gas she inhaled worked for her..me it just made me sick.
So I asked my doctor after ten hours of panting and trying not to scream I wanted ; no I needed a epidural. No you can wait he said You have to be joking me I panted…I wasn’t dilating, I was hurting, I was tired and I was scared and then he says to me ‘what would you have done a hundred years ago’ I will never ever forget it I was aghast and I couldve mustered the strength at that point to kill him had I not been worried about making a scene however twenty minutes later I got my epidural and for the next four hours I sat playing uno with my husband while my stomach contracted away..it was bizarre truly. The funniest thing was my husband brought waterproof uno cards just in case what was he thinking, I still have never asked why he brought waterproof cards.
My few hours turned into fifteen and my ala natural birth turned in a emergency c-section. I didn’t care and I still dont it was the way it was ment to be. I just wanted him out, I wanted to see him, meet him I wanted the whole thing over. They say (some mothers ) c sections are surgical, cold. and for the weak. They aren’t, well mine wasn’t (and neither was my subsequent two). I remember every moment of my c section every pull, every tug, every fear and tear that I had and I remember the joy and overwhelming sense of love at seeing by big beautiful 10 pound 9 boy healthy and laying on my chest. It was perfect and I wouldnt change a thing.
So happy Birthday Austin. You make me so very happy and proud my baby. You teach me something new everyday. Thank you.
I love you so very much-mummy xx
xxD.
