the fifo wife

Do you have a favourite quote? Something you have seen or heard that’s resonated with you?

xxDeb

My pyjamas and I are having a love affair. I didn’t get out of them until 10.30am this morning which is consequently when I took the posse for a walk otherwise I may have never got out of them. It was in the minuses this morning and so I had trouble tearing myself away from the fire. The fire is another thing I have developed a love affair with. There is a whole romance and ritual around lighting fire don’t you think? Its very zen like.

I love winter love it even more when husband is home…but if he was home that would mean he was unemployed and well as I mentioned on face book none of this would be happening.

So it’s a few things this first week of August. Yes August. My head is still in May as we hurtle towards Christmas and still I have crossed nothing off my list. Lucky I don’t believe in neither luck or resolution’s.

Never mind here we go.

1. Remember last week I said I longed for an adventure with my family well I did something I have never ever done before. Booked a holiday without consulting the husband or knowing if we have the funds to pay for it. Stupid perhaps I know but we are have been gunna gunna for so long and well then a free hire in a six berth camper came up in the right dates..It was a sign…it’s a relocation deal so its short but we will make it very sweet. Head here, here or here to see if you can have your own adventure- and no this is not a sponsored post.

2. I had some kids over yesterday and I said to the mother as she was leaving I’m a little bit of a free range parent is that okay I went on to tell her that I let the kids go to the school park across the road whilst I watch and listen out for them. I let them ride up and down the street (it’s a dead end street). My whole street is like that but it never occurred to me others in my town may instead be helicopter parents or think I’m being a bit reckless but I want my kids to have the childhood I had. This didn’t include my mother and father watching and making every one of my decisions. Its also why I live in the country. Im hoping though it didn’t freak her out but perhaps thats why she picked him up early…hmmm

3. Since having the term Aspergers applied to one of my children. I’m a better parent. Our relationship has improved instead of me getting frustrated and loosing the plot as to why we must wear a particular short everyday with a particular shirt, why he had an accident at school, why he cries when our routine of Friday night movie and pizza doesn’t go to plan or why I must be in arms reach I make allowances. I haven’t changed as a parent but I’m more patient because I get it now. It’s not an excuse but it’s something I can understand and work with better. Does he know he is any different? No because he isn’t and we aren’t going to tell him. The wrong thing? I don’t think so. He is still the same person he just has some quirks.

4. My Aunt who lost my Uncle last year doesn’t know how to live alone. I’m going over in October to teach her…well try. At least to show her where the fuse box is, how to check her oil in the car, change a light bulb and perhaps even get her some internet.  At Seventy she doesn’t even know where the fuse box is. I’m so sad for her how does that happen but as my mother says not everyone thrives on independence but where is the joy on relying on someone else all your life?..but then times and roles were perhaps more defined back then and I should cut her some slack…yes I should.

5. Aussie men are the least likely in the world to cheat but 46% would more than happily dump you if you gained too much weight. Read more here apparently..don’t kill the messenger boys.

6. I have a friend well actually I’m not sure if she is my friend the insincerity confuses me but either way she taught me the same lessons many years ago as this girl learnt from Hugh Jack man and I have lived this way ever since. Honesty and being who you are will never fail you. Ever. Read it here.

7. Whilst I’m not a Ryan Gosling fan I know a number of you that are so look what I found. Head here.

8. We have the push up bra they now have this…imagine the disappointment when you both get naked?

9. I exercise a lot however I also eat a lot. I have moved passed my body issues and decided eating rather than starving and purging or a combination of both is more fun however when I see sweet little project like this I’m stepping up my lunge activity and wishing I had my 23 year old legs back..because whilst I didnt appreciate them then they were pretty damn fine.

10. I started paying myself super again. I now contribute $10.00 a month to an account something is better than nothing right and the government does some sort of matchy thing. I went through ING Direct again not affiliated just found them to be quick easy and I have been with them for years. – Interest rate in their cash fund is great also. I wont give the link because I’m not paying favourites or being held liable if the world economy crashes.

Well my sweets that it. Washing is a calling..its on 2pm. Sigh.

Have a great day.

xx Deb

My father said to me as we walked around Big W I bet you would buy the whole store if you could. I didn’t stop walking to answer but kept striding towards the checkout because when shopping with my father it’s a never a stroll or a browse it’s a get in get out scenario. No I said I want for nothing in life. Really he said doubting me. Actually no I said that’s a lie. Ah he said thinking he was about to get the answer he was predictably waiting for. What I want is for you and mum to move here and be here for the boys and I followed that up with I want FIFO husband and I to be the first ones to show the boys the world. Those are my wants in life. Not any of this I said pointing to the aisles this is just stuff to me. Is that all he said? will that make you happy he said? Yes I replied. I’m the same he said..so what was he surprised I thought.

Whilst I like the latest fashions, newest gizmo’s I don’t have any of them my 15 year old analogue that we have repaired three times TV says that. Things they don’t make me happy. I learnt that long ago and as much as money can make things easier let’s be honest being poor is not good for your health or happiness having money or more of it makes you no happier than if you had just an average income.

I remember as child driving through an affluent Darwin neighbourhood and saying I wish I was rich as I looked at a house overlooking the Casuarina Beach cliffs. A friend of my father who was in the car and was visiting said to me no Deb the more money you make the more troubles you will often have. Money brings with it its own problems and I have found the more money we make the more troubles we have and whilst it’s not in comparison to someone else who has less than I; still they are problems that don’t make bring me happiness.

Researchers say people are most happiest when they are have learnt to be grateful for the good things in their lives, have fulfilling relationships and are optimistic. I am happiest when we are all squeezed in driving our beat up old truck. I’m happiest when I’m eating dinner with my family, picking my husband up from work. I learnt to be grateful for what I have for things money can’t buy. To take notice and appreciate what makes me smile and its moments like the end of another day and dawn of another morning. The smile I get when I collect my boys from school. I am grateful for my husband arriving home from work safely. I appreciate the people in my community both online and off. I am grateful for hearing my neighbours’ infectious laugh almost every single morning. I could go on but you get the gist. Money can’t buy those things that make me smile; make me feel safe and content. It can’t buy my ultimate happiness.

Yet I wasn’t always this way this grateful or unmaterialistic I would be lying if I said I was. Like most when I was young things and money meant a lot. They made me happy. Buying stuff made me happy and I thought having money was the key to happiness. I wish someone had told me different but perhaps they did and I was to arrogant to listen and so I learnt the hard way. It was a simple lesson learnt but with a lot of heart ache. My husband my then boyfriend took a posting to the to the West which ultimately was a deployment to Afghanistan. He was amongst the first deployed when the word war was being thrown around. Deployed and weeks of semi regular phone calls had passed  it was midnight one night when he called. He and I were chatting…then there was a bang…then there was nothing for ten days. Nothing from nobody. The dark is never more scary. Ever.

If I could I would have put all that money back into the defence forces account just for a phone call from someone. I was alone in city where I knew no one. All I had was my posses of dogs. I wasn’t happy. Nothing I brought made me happy. None of the latest gizmos we had made me happy. The stuff that surrounded me that we had brought together made me happy. Nothing. It was just stuff. We had done this deployment for the money to buy more stuff it was simple as that and In knew it and only after the fact that bang did I hate that idea. This deployment was worth $30 000.00 dollars to us. That money brought me nothing but unhappiness and it was during those days of not hearing from him knowing nothing of his safety that I vowed I would never consider money as a route to happiness ever again because without him happiness was non existence. Happiness in my world now and then can be described as the sound of his voice something money can’t buy.

Happiness is more a learnt behaviour it’s not dependent on what’s in your bank account. Research says 60% of person’s capacity for positive emotion is due to their nature and the rest can be learnt. Self taught and I had a lot of self teaching to do. I have failed many times but finally I am at point in my life where I can honestly say my happiness stems from the little things not by the big things money has brought. Studies by a generation of behavioural scientists show that material goods often fail to deliver lasting happiness and it’s true currently I am cash poor I have exactly $232.00 left in my bank account to last me until next fortnight and this must feed and water us but I couldn’t be happier because I don’t require anything else.  Researchers in a recent study followed thousands of people in Germany who moved to a new home because there was something they didn’t like about their old home. In the five years after moving, the residents reported a significant increase in satisfaction with their home, but not their lives. Buying a new home a grand new thing did nothing to make them any happier.

Yet to say I want to take my kids around the world? Slightly hypocritical? It cost money however experiential purchases — such as my longed dreamed trip of around the world, concerts and parties are more about making us who we are and its comes with the benefit that money can buy. These experimental purchases tend to make us closer to other people, develop understandings of each other and the world as a whole and decades of research point to the importance of social contact for improving mental and physical health.

So can money buy happiness? Ultimately no but perhaps when used in the right way it can. My trip is a gift to my children. To show them the world and in experiments conducted around the world it’s been proven thousands of times over people always are always happier when paying it forward, buying something for someone else or  giving back than treating themselves to the latest Gucci heels.

I made this salad for one of the last days we spent down at the lake this past summer. It was quick easy and everybody loved it and on a cold winters night when I’m wanting a little taste of summer this is perfect. I have literally whipped it up after swimming lessons. It could served hot or cold. I like it cold but anyway would be nice.

• What you will need for the salad
• 125g (4oz) cooked according to the packet rice noodles
• ½ cucumber
• 150g (5oz) leftover cooked chicken, shredded
• 1 medium carrot, cut into thin matchsticks
• 3 sprigs mint, leaves chopped, plus a few more for garnish
• 1 quarted tomato
• large handful beansprouts
• 50g (2oz) salted peanuts, roughly chopped, to serve

• What you will need for the dressing

• ½ lime, zested and juiced
• 2tbsp soft brown sugar
• 2tbsp rice vinegar
• 2tbsp fish sauce
• 1 long red chilli, deseeded, finely chopped (plus sliced extra thin for garnish)

Cook noodles according to the packet. Drain and allow to cool for a few minutes. Mix the remaining salad ingredients together with the exception of the peanuts. Toss all salad ingredients together with noodles. Mix the dressing in a separate bowl combining all the ingredients.

Pour dressing all over the salad and top with peanuts.

Done.

** You could alternate the chicken for prawns or have both..and add any vegetables you like. I have made it with finely sliced asparagus**

We are heading into hump week and we are starting to get weary. B3 has started to have bad dreams about crocodiles. Sigh and he isn’t the only except that my dreams aren’t about crocodiles they are about run away cows, horses and dogs. I’m yet to Google there meaning..I’m sure there is some subconscious message there.

So it’s Monday and here are the few things running through my head.

1. I’m aching for an adventure with my children. I literally want to pack up and run…but no adventure is complete without dad…so we must wait.

2. Cancer is an arse…he has attacked a new someone I love…this some one is so dear to me…I’m scared I dont know what to do. They typically stoic as ever has packed herself up and headed south to get the best possible treatment to get well because as she says there is no point in just sitting..Idleness leads to nothing…

3. I am making this for dinner…will let you know how it goes.

4. If see another rainbow this winter I am going to go nuts.

5. My husband is 6ft5 with a size 18 shoe I can never ever imagine anyone any bigger but just look at this basketball player. Do you think the other players feel seriously in adequate?

6. Discovered my dog Big Boy who was a stray (he literally turned up and never left. We door knocked every house in my town and nobody claimed him)  was indeed a pig dog as I have always thought way back when in his former life. Not because he is a dangerous animal no he has a badly scarred tear from his mouth to his ear one I assume was never attended to. So how did this little bit of information get verified..last week one of my neighbour’s pigs got out and well Big Boy took her down and knew exactly what he was doing. Have never seen that rounded 11 years old boy move so fast. Don’t fret although it took a lot to separate him from her but both pig and dog were fine. Me on the other hand not so much. Not one who sees the value in pig dogging (getting rid of feral pigs yes pig dogging no) I couldn’t get over how much Big Boy loved it (the ahem attacking of the pig)…he was tail wagging…eyes bright and happy. The pig however was not and thankfully for Big Boy was detusked as the pig gave as good as she got. I don’t see the sport in pig dogging…its a cruel and inhumane way to kill an animal both pig and dog…and using a dog to do your dirty work for you is not hunting nor is it a sport…there is no skill in that..moving on..

7. I love the casualness of the boy friend jean but can never pull it off without looking like a sack of potatoes if you like me need help have a little look at these inspirations.

8. I attended a wedding once where Red Rooster was served, the radio played and a whole pig was brought in on a beer trolley but this is equally as good.

9. Its true the moon does affect how you sleep read more here.

10. And the only reason I’m not getting this is because I have to pay for it…in the mean time they can watch ABC kids just like I have too.

That it my sweets have a great week! Off to find out what a dreaming of a menagerie means…but if you know can you let me know..Googling is a little more effort than I care to exert today.

Xx Deb