the fifo wife

For the full story on this overloading amount of cuteness head here.

And a complete side note I think worth mentioning as the parent of four rescue dogs and one rescue cat..as cute as these images and story is please remember this: animals take work..they are as much work as a child. They require training, time, socialisation and love just like a child. They require more than just food, water and a big back yard with a shelter. They need food, water, human (and other dog) interaction and exercise outside the yard.

In-fact research shows dogs dogs that are excluded soley to the back yard because they according to impatient owners are untrainable are actually harder to train. And its not ‘gross’ to have a dog inside because again research shows they are usually in affective guard dogs if kept soley in the back yard. Have their bed just inside the door or in the laundry..you may just need to train them some more and vacume – but a little dog hair never hurt anyone.

So if you don’t have the time for another child please don’t contemplate a puppy under the tree this Christmas as cute as these images are.

xx Deb

Today started out well. I made a great coffee two infact…had a wee face book discussion… the kids got off to school without a hitch…I caught the rooster in readiness to take him to the vet to find out why he isn’t behaving like a rooster but more like a drunkard trying to find his stool at the pub and then husband called and we had a fight.

We don’t normally fight and our conversations don’t normally end with I’m going now said in a tone of voice that the queen of Narnia would be proud of. I don’t regret the fight. We fought clean. It was productive. He said his piece I said mine and it’s done with. And yet here I am now writing this thinking of him while eating a large Cadbury chocolate with my sneakers on because once finished here I also intend to run the crap out of that fight.

Now I have learnt to not to over think things…people fight it happens and I may or not have deserved the dressing down I got on the phone and he may or may not have deserved the response I gave. There is no goody or baddy here. But it’s done now…only problem is its 12 hours or more between now and the next phone call… one of the perks of the offshore industry and working on overseas vessels that issue phone cards that are more valuable than gold.

So what to do?

Nothing but get on with my day.

Now in the past I would have and I am talking when I was a novice to all this relationship stuff I would have emailed or if I could texted him…but from one thing I know nothing can be conveyed via text message nothing. If anything it makes you more angry and frustrated. Write an email perhaps but then sit on it- always sit on an email- then if 6 hours later it resonates with you still send it but do not ever text try to solve an argument with a text and then one that uses abbreviations- wtf why would you do that. It’s the one time I will use the word stupid because that’s what it is. You have 160 characters and then there is auto correct it’s a minefield of stupidity.

Don’t use it unless of course you are not looking to fix the argument and then by all means go for the Russel Brand approach and end up looking like a gutless wonder. It’s your call.

A text doesn’t convey a message they are short blunt and sweet or in Katie Perry’s case not sweet. Texting was invented to save time…emoticons…to bring some feeling into said text but there is nothing emotional about trying to work out an argument via a piece of cold hardware and no amount of happy or sad faces with a breaking heart thrown in will fix it- unless of course your thirteen and anything that involves a love heart will work. So do not use them. They leave things left unsaid, abbreviations are misread, or pieces missing.

Texting is valuable for short brief messages such as appointment reminders or reminders in general. Use them for sending a shopping list a phone number, a link that sort of thing and sexting. Let’s not forget about sexting. Sexting however is one form of ‘texting’ that can be beneficial to ones relationship but here is the disclosure it must be between to consenting adults and even then should be used  with care- sending a picture of you in your new favourite negligee may not go down well with his mother brother or worst still your daughter. Personally Iam scared whittles of sexting..And will only go far as husband I miss you- lame I know.

Fix the argument misunderstanding in person or when phone reception is good. As scary as it is do it in person. You will be better for it and it will be solved faster for better or worse. And who knows when said and done in person the reconciliation may be consummated wink wink nudge nudge and well if that doesn’t get you sorting it out face to face I don’t know what will…but then stupid may be thy middle name in two regards.

So I won’t be texting or even emailing…I will eat the remainder of this chocolate bar before commencing  sometime on my runner all the while I wait for him to call back where we will discuss it like two adults who until they get face to face will understand they are both doing the best that they can.

Easy done? Of course not but then nothing worthwhile ever is.

Its weather for soup today so I am making a huge batch of Pea and Ham while I decorate the house getting ready for the season; you know the one- Christmas?

The boys have written their lists and it’s surprisingly held back.

Thanks’s giving was a disaster. Disaster but as someone said it was thought that counted and well it was awesome in the end…

So while I put some soup on the stove and some carols on the play list here are the few things running through my head this last week of November.

1. Do your Christmas shopping now and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
2. I made a huge calculating mistake with the date…we are only half way through our swing…not in count down. The boys took it better than I did.
3. B1-How do you know where you are going mum? B3-Becuase she is a mum and she knows everything.  Me- yeah and don’t you forget it
4. I’m missing the husband this swing…not an unable to function missing but he is constantly  on my mind and I am so looking forward to seeing him
5. My November vintage market was hideous…if that was a sign of the economic times we are in trouble people trouble.
6. Would you wear one?
7. I have a thing for churches even though I am not religious at all but have a look at this one in Antarctica.
8. There are five languages of love read more here.
9. I love fashion you wouldn’t think so but I love it…I love nothing more than people watching looking at what they are wearing…that’s fashion. If you love a little street fashion and don’t already follow look here.
10. Unsurprisingly, contact with sharp objects was four times more fatal than with blunt objects and being a man is deadlier than a woman. Here is a list of unusual ways to die…

The words came out of my mouth before I knew what I had said. No I can’t, sorry. She looked at me and I who was crouched over B3 at the time helping him with his shoes stood up right like someone had shoved something peculiar somewhere even more peculiar.

I had never said no before I was or am a yes girl. Or I would say I will do that or just volunteer because it was the right thing to do. Bugger the fact I was teetering on the edge of an over commitment collapse because still I would say yes because I don’t like disapproval I don’t like letting  people down and I don’t like people not liking me but then something in me kind of changed this year. I kind of took charge of me.

Which is how we got to this point standing here right now looking like I had passed wind in public not really believing I had don’t but had all the same.

She looked at me.

Then a funny thing happened.

She said “okay just thought I would ask”. Which was followed by something else,the world didn’t implode. It didn’t stop turning. She didn’t say you terrible woman for not wanting to do this nor did she say you’re so rude this is an opportunity lost and nor did I feel that way. She didn’t and nor did I.

So from that day on I have said No sorry I can’t. I am no longer over committing myself. I as it is have a lot on my plate. I’m not just a ‘stay at home mum’ with a crap load of time on my hands and yes that has been said and written with more sarcasm than Australia’s yearly and regular contribution of aid to Indonesia- I’m a taxi driver, gardener, small machinery mechanic, cook, cleaner, chief mediator and some where along the way Debbie the girl who likes vintage and writes. I live a life full on life and again to my detriment am revoltingly independent so if I can help I will if I can’t. No longer do I feel terribly, rude, guilty or that I have disappointed anyone or that I have missed out because I’m a better parent or person for it.

Now for the benefit of a good piece of writing and because I came this point in my life by pure accident this is what others suggested should you have trouble saying no. So try these couple of things before saying yes to one more little thing. It will change your over committed life.

1. Mull it over: Can I get back to you…don’t make a false promise just say you will get back to them when you have worked out if you can legitimately help out or not.
2. Dob someone else in that could possibly help better… I’m not the best person to sew the dance costumes how about my sister in-law who is a whiz on a machine.
3. Offer alternative to what they are asking- only if you can: I can’t put the tents up on Friday but I can pull down on Monday.
4. Just say No thanks I can’t.

So try it. Don’t leave it until you’re a quivery exhausted mess when saying NO is the only option because visiting hours at the ‘rest facility’ is between 12 noon and 2pm. Don’t be a martyr. Saying No as a parent it’s a health issue.

So are you the yes or no type..

xx Deb

{Image with thanks to here}

Honey Joys

I only had these a few times as a kid because I only had them at parties and because my mothers idea of party food was..little boys you know the little frankfurts but we called them little boys- did anyone else because thinking now may or may not be a nice name but right down my mothers alley..Anyway honey joys are one of those kid foods that will be etched in my memory forever and so I have been looking for the right recipe ever since. This one comes pretty close to my memory.

This recipe made 24 and only one of my three boys liked them but you know what they say only more for me and I may or may not have eaten all of them..what’s your favourite childhood party treat..

What you will need:

• 4 cups Corn Flakes
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 90g butter or margarine

How to: 

Preheat oven to 150°C. Line 24 hole patty pan with paper cases. Melt butter, sugar and honey together in a saucepan until frothy. Add Corn Flakes and mix well. Working quickly spoon into paper patty cases. Bake in a oven 150°C for 10 minutes. Cool.

** Recipe Womans Weekly**