the fifo wife

Another big weekend over and it brings with it the last week of school. Yeah. Ha. However that does mean we have one more week of school lunches but that’s okay because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The weekend saw Daddy come home on Friday. That day was eventful to say the least. The boys and I went to the movies while we waited for his flight and saw Meatballs 2… the kids loved it..I however kept looking at my watch. I’m hanging out to see Frozen myself. The day progressed with B3 being accident prone all day. Sliced his foot on the door at the theatre after taking off his shoes and having the door opened on him, then banged his head on part of swing and finished it off with eyes so sore from swimming at the lagoon he couldn’t open them.

Then Daddy arrived and fixed everything mummy couldn’t..sigh.

So Daddy got home the star was placed on the tree and well Christmas in this FIFO house may begin so this last second week of December these are the few things running through my head.

1. I haven’t done my Christmas cards yet…it’s throwing my control mechanism of getting them out on the 1^st December out a little.
2. Support Sunday has become amazing and I feel so grateful to be a part of something so awesome.
3. Walked into a store on Friday to make a hefty purchase and was admit tingly looking a little dishevelled. I was ignored for a pretty young thing. Nothing drives me crazier than judging a book by its cover.
4. You are not responsible for someone else actions just remember that always.
5. Were eves dropping on some European back packers Friday afternoon? We were at the lagoon for a swim. One back packer said how surreal is it to be in December be in swimming and looking at a Christmas tree. This will be my first Australian Christmas one said but it doesn’t feel like Christmas. It’s nice as a novelty the other said but I wouldn’t want it every year. Hmmm…yes some days during the festive season when it’s filthy hot the season feels nothing like the plum pudding tins say it’s meant to.
6. Have a look at this app…It’s a countdown for families that work apart…great for kids and mums too.
7. Looking for an obvious answer? Here.
8. Some couples want to travel, have babies these honeymooners wanted to do this.
9. A porn channel for women yup here.
10. She looks nice here its all I am saying..I get introuble otherwise and being Monday thats enough just there.

Xx Deb

Its pick up day.For those not in the industry its the day husband returns home from work.

Bring on the planning, the preparation and the nervous pee. After 14 years together I still get the butterflies just like I did on our first date. I loves this man more than I did last month or the day I married him.

That first smile leaves me giggling and that first hand hold seems to take forever but when it does that feeling of safety and home comes all in one.

This nervousness is just like it was on our first date knowing that there are great things to come..

xx Deb

I went to deliver some lollies to my sister in-law the other day because I had been thinking of her; she asked me how I was and well instead of saying great I started to cry. It snuck up and came from out of no where. I managed to hold it because well it was the start of the ugly cry. I was at her work peoples. Her work.

Sh@t was what I was saying as I looked furiously at the ground trying to focus on sucking it up.

She looked at me not really know what to do because. She. Was. At. Work.

Where the fruit loops was it coming from this public display of emotion which for me borders on gross indecency yet in truth I knew because up until the other day I was handling everything just fine. FINE. I have a wee bit going on as everyone does and currently it’s all so finely balanced that if I could just balance it a wee bit longer it will pay off but emotionally its taking its toll and for the curious of you it’s nothing to do with FIFO or handling of. So how did we end up there?

Simple the day before I had had a coffee with a friend and well it took me back ten bloody years.

My friend who I haven’t seen in some years discovered that when husband goes to work I prefer not to go out. I go out but things are not the same and I feel like I am doing wrong by him. Now it should be mentioned my husband would never say no to me going anywhere in fact he encourages me knowing my ridiculous independence but this is the deal.

When my husband is at a work so am I. When he comes home I’m on my weekend. We are a team. My husband can’t ‘go out’ without the exception of the gym, TV room or walking the heli deck. There is no going out for him. For 28 days and nights straight. So when I do go I enjoy it but at the same time I feel guilty like I am cheating him like a business partner tucking away a few extra drinks at the Christmas party not the torrid affair kind of cheating. So I will go out and I could go out more but I don’t. I also don’t drink when I am at work. So as a result my place in the community is skimming on the border. I know people and they know me but I’m not too involved. I am placed where I want to be. I’m involved but not and I like it. Besides I am busy with my family, my writing and my shop. There is one of me three of them (my boys that is) thrown in the work and the menagerie I’m keeping and I’m lucky if I have time to put my knickers on.

Yet my friend he found this odd and he questioned my true happiness of the situation well at least that how it came across which I suspect went along with a little amount of pity. He wasn’t being malice, he wasn’t being hurtful he was genuinely concerned. And I should know this it’s typical for someone that doesn’t understand the lifestyle so I should have brushed it off  and ordinarily could have but it was the possibility I was being pitied that was the clincher for me. If there wasn’t that look or tone I would have been okay. There is nothing worse than being pitied it’s an insult to me but as a result of my friends visit I mulled it over all night and most of the morning. Add my extra stuff going on and well here we were at my sister in-laws work sucking up the ugly cry.

Just that single question are you sure your happy over and over being asked or that can’t be right- made me question myself like I was a newbie to the whole FIFO gig but I am not I’m 14 years in defence , mines and offshore. I have been there done that. This crying, second guessing worrying about what people think is what you ask yourself in the start not 14 years in.

Long story short..the purpose of the post I have no idea..none but I had a bad day..and I wanted to tell you in case you thought all my days were diamonds because ..bad days happen 14 years of defence, mines and off shore bad days happen. Even though I love this lifestyle LOVE it occasionally I have a bad day usually brought on by lack of sleep..extra crap going and then there is the fact that I hate the pity..I hate it more than the bad day when there is no husband to wrap my arms around and tell me its okay. You can say what you like just don’t pity me. This is our choice our consequence and FIFO or not- not every day can be diamonds some days just like every body else’s days sometimes they consist of diverting the ugly cry and that is really very okay.

xx Deb

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We were sitting in a small Japanese cafe it was small, noisey and it had been months since I had seen her. I had missed her. She was sensitive, quirky, funny and always fun to chat to. We had met through work at the hotel I had worked at before becoming ‘a mum’ and we instantly became friends. Despite her living in the city and I in the country our friendship flourished. I soon left work to travel overseas but still we kept in touch, then I had a baby but still we stayed in touch through the odd lunch and text. My 30^th birthday rolled around I was pregnant with my second baby and she helped my husband make it a surprise and I loved having her there. We didn’t see each other a lot but I loved it when we managed a date. She still single..career spurred..travel filled..I loved hearing about her world..

It was then somewhere between my second and third baby that we met up for dinner and here we were in this little Japanese Cafe.

We made small talk catching up on her going on’s and how she preferred it if I didn’t ask her about her love life any more…a incredibly bad habit of mine with my single friends but it was my ice breaker a tease- a terrible one but much the same as when people ask me how long husband is away for.. I took it in apologising and explaining why I said what I said and that I was sorry I had upset her and I was- genuinely sorry. Perhaps I thought to myself this is why she hasn’t called more- yes of course it was- it’s a bad habit asking about my single friends love lives I said I must stop.. I had been told off by another once before all of this internal chatter going on while I smiled and listened to her chat about her new home.

It was somewhere between talking about where she had got the screen door and a quick fling with her ex that it came. Debbie she said I don’t like children she said.  I looked at her. Okay I said. I wasn’t shocked or hurt; nothing. I knew that it’s what we had once shared in common. She didn’t want children nor did I at the time which is part of why we hung out. But you have them she said. Yes I said last time I counted I had two and may be three I said.

I continued with just because I have children doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. I don’t expect you to hang out with my kids I understand it’s okay. We can just do this I smiled eating the last of my Teriyaki chicken. I can’t remember what she said but we continued with dinner making small talking and when dinner was over we promised to catch up again.

I walked to my car and sat in the dark and thought about what had unfolded over dinner. Which then lead me to think back to her reaction to her being served dessert in a Lightening Mc Queen plate at the last dinner party she came to. At the time Lightening Mc Queen was big in our house and we had lost most of the good dinnerware to the floor but it was a plate to eat off. In the dark I went over our conversation at dinner. Did I talk about the kids to much then at that dinner party, our last lunch and now here at dinner. I hadn’t meant to but they were my current fulltime job; my life consisted of very little but them. But despite there being more of me and as dull as it was to some I didn’t actually mind that they consumed me I liked it in fact most days I loved it.

Something about tonight didn’t sit right and it wasn’t the chicken. Not always the brightest bulb in the pack I stayed sitting in the dark in the car.

I was listening to the bats going nuts in the trees over head when it dawned on me sitting in the dark in my car- she I think had just broken up with me in a roundabout sort of way. We I guess had nothing in common any more. A little wave of sadness washed over me as it dawned on me. We were broken up. Our friendship over like that corny poem it served its purpose but still I would miss her. Their was no malice I understood. I saw her only the once after that she was leaving the state she had come to say good bye I remember saying to her stay in touch and she said yes she would but I suspected she wouldn’t and  she never did and really that’s okay because not all friendships last forever.

Have you ever been broken up with? Your done the breaking up with?

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We just had 72 hours of play. I don’t think I have ever known a weekend to go so fast and I kind of sort of understand why parents over commit themselves and their kids…you are so busy doing stuff that you don’t have time to talk, to argue or whinge- until Sunday night arrives and wham bam thank you mum that they are so TIRED that the weekend was not used what it was meant for a balance of rest and play- and you send them to bed after a fairly well played out tantrum.

So all the kids including me are buggered but here we are and I am sure we are this time in countdown.

So it’s the first week of December…its count down week…there is just a few weeks left of school meaning no more school lunches so life is good but cheesey as it sounds its always good…but here are the few things running through my head.

1. My boys never stop eating but they are as skinny as rakes. How the hell does that work?
2. Someone told me my youngest boy looked lost all the time…so while I try and workout  if I am a good parent because I was late for the kindy Christmas party because I was trying to keep every child happy but as a result it meant my son missed out on his performance ..I will ponder that one too…thank you.
3. I hate tinsel…however a bomb of it exploded in my house.
4. Brought all my husband’s presents online…I’m thinking Im a little awesome hope he does to..me not him.
5. I was asked what I want for Christmas…at the time I couldn’t think of anything because really I don’t need more stuff but now I have thought of something…a trip with my husband and then another with the kids..Overseas maybe with snow? Where they speak with an accent may be English or French wee wee..How about you?
6. This man was brave enough to not salute Hitler.
7. If you use Face book you must read this.
8. Paid to pee yes its true.
9. I have nothing to say but this is infuriating, revolting and backwards. I can’t see women ever being valued as equal in this very poor nation.
10. A researcher believes we originated from slime…apparently some have not evolved all that much further.

Well that it sweets have a awesome day..

Xx Deb