the fifo wife

Its a little bit like Christmas around here. The house is full of tinsel, stars, and stockings. We fill the house with a little greenery to bring the smell of Christmas into the house which is something my husband misses not having a real pine Christmas tree. He says he remembers Christmas smelling like pine so to bring that smell back we put sprays of natives and pine through out the house. My memory of Christmas is preztel’s. We always had pretzel sticks every Christmas but I don’t fancy replicating the smell of them however I have managed to replicate the smell of dusty tinsel rather well.

What remind’s you of Christmas as a kid?

x Deb

Its Tuesday and I am doing Mondays post but I have a great excuse my husband surprised me with a trip to Paris in Feb so it was the ugly cry which my husband said was indeed very ugly which then led me to walking around in a dream and I was then struck down (so dramatic) with a vomiting bug for the day.

Nice start to the holidays but on the plus side I have had a ‘detox’ so that’s always a nice way to start the holiday.

But it was a busy weekend we visited the big guy in the red suit in the city, my son had his first sleep over with someone other than my neighbours-  Christ we missed him, we visited some family and visited another local market. Busy.

So it’s a week till Christmas and these are the things running through my head.

1. We had a little boy stay with us over the weekend. He was a vegan…an eight year old vegan…parent’s with kids with allergies my heart goes out to you.
2. My dad arrives tomorrow…excited much…god yes.
3. We went for a walk today and a city person has brought a house here and erected a 6ft high chain mesh fence…it looks so foreign..Crime is so foreign to my town that the police station is open one day a week from 9-5…I wonder if they know that because there house is a whole lot of detention centre ugly.
4. The blog is going on holiday from the 20^th of December until the 30^th…I want to soak up every little bit of goodness the season has to offer and I want to be the best I can be for you next year.
5. The family is coming back to the big house for Christmas…8 adults…9 kids…6 dogs..heaven.
6. Having a baby and cant decide on a name. This is cool it’s the modern version of pulling a name out a hat.
7. Because thank god nobody is perfect.
8. Mentally strong a how to guide.
9. I can’t resist useless test to analysis myself…and I’m 37…which is better than 17 head here to check your mental age…which is completely un-endorsed by anyone.
10. He wanted to make his step daughter feel included….awesome.

Xx D

She wrote to tell me the story of her FIFO life and her FIFO started much like mine by the written word . Unconventional full of trust and risk but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I met my husband in 1999 on a girls night out. He was in the defence force and was on leave in Darwin and so for three weeks he didnt leave my side. Then one Saturday night with out word he literally slipped into the darkness. He was amongst the first deployment to East Timor with no date of return. That Saturday night we were to meet up after his shift and my ‘girls evening out’ but instead he left me a message on my phone. I listened to that message over and over again. I still wish I had that message. I was devastated because after three weeks of knowing this boy I knew he was the one and I hadn’t told him in fact I had told him and treated him the exact opposite way.

But that long deployment brought with it an amazing gift that I only realise now that FIFO life and this FIFO life had given me; I wrote my first letter. Hand written six times till it looked okay and sent it. It was the first of many in fact we wrote a letter everyday of our ‘courtship’ although that really has never ended. We have written a letter almost everyday of our life. We have literally written a thousand letters. I got to know him through the written word. Our dreams, thoughts, feelings and wishes for each other. We have letters telling of the past of major events 9/11, the Bali bombings, Larry and snippets of time. I have the thoughts and feelings of our babies yet to come.

I feel amazed that I have this gift. I have every letter spanning every single event of our lives. From that first deployment to everyone after and from there I have every email and now every photo. My whole relationship with my husband is documented. My boys lives are documented. My families life, this families life is documented. I have kept every letter and email from my husband and my husband from I and one day I will copy and bind them. Perhaps my boys would like a copy. For their families. To see where it started from the very beginning.

How about you? Have you ever thought of writing down your story or have you done it.

xxDeb

Couscous Salad..plain and simple.

It was hot yesterday and I made the decision to go to the late gym class. And being the control freak I am needed to have dinner ready before I left so husband could feed the kids while I was out and it would be ready when I got home. So this was made in 10 minutes and only one pot was required…thats just awesome right there.

I added a handful of sultanas during the absorbing process..

Couscous Salad.

What you will need..

• 200g couscous
• 200ml chicken stock
• 1/4 cup (60ml) olive oil
• 1 Lebanese cucumber, seeds removed, diced
• 1/2 red onion, finely sliced
• 1 yellow capsicum, seeds removed, diced
• 2 vine-ripened tomatoes, seeds removed, diced
• 2 tbs chopped flat-leaf parsley
• 2 tbs lemon juice
• 1 tbs hummus

How to:

1. Place the couscous in a large bowl. Place the stock and 1 tablespoon olive oil in a saucepan, bring to just boiling point, then pour over the couscous. Cover and set aside for 10 minutes.
2. Fluff couscous with a fork and season with salt and pepper. When couscous is completely cold, stir in the cucumber, onion, capsicum, tomato and parsley.
3. In a separate small bowl, combine the remaining olive oil, the lemon juice and hummus, add to the couscous and stir until well combined

xx Deb

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How do you know when you have grown up she asked me. I looked at her staring not knowing what to say. If I tell her the truth that might just indeed disappoint her because currently the law states 18. At 18 you can smoke, drink, have sex and vote all very much adult concepts however when does one really grown up. I was 35 and if I honest I still didn’t feel ‘grown up’. I had more than more than my fair share of mortgages, I had three children, a husband seen and done my fair share of life I even had health insurance and a will but still I didn’t feel ‘grown up’ or that I was taken seriously by anyone.

Well I said I think it’s different for everyone I said to her. I think being a grown up is different for everyone. We were shopping and were in Supr. If ever you want to feel old and frumpy or a grown up just take yourself for a quick spin around their fashion floor.

I wanted to tell her the truth but to tell her I didn’t feel grown up at 18, 21, 30 and was still struggling at feeling ‘grown up’ at 35 may dish all my creditability. So instead I continued with its different for everyone. For me I didn’t feel grown up until later and for me it came down to confidence and feeling comfortable with myself and my decisions.

Feeling grown up is all about knowing your mind, yourself and understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you I think I said.  And no its doesn’t happen at 18 years old when the government has deemed it so. Having sex or a beer and being able to vote doesn’t make you grown up I said. You get to do it but your by no means grown up I said other stuff has to happen first. Like what she said? God I don’t know get your heart broken, break someone’s heart, get a job, loose a job, move out, pay some bills, buy your first car or travel overseas…become responsible I said..but then you have to grow up to be that.

Urgh is what she said followed by so when do you think that will happen she said. I looked at her I was not telling her what she wanted to hear which between me and her happened a lot but I remember that feeling wanting to grow up. I remember standing in my parents doorway scratching at the paint of the door step at 12 years old wishing I was 16 so I could drive. Then I closed my eyes and I swear I was tele-ported here. So why is when you are young you are always in a hurry to grow up? Its not always fun. Its hard work.

And because I thought she had not been listening and perhaps she like me was distracted by all the fluoro minis that surrounded us I said it again; growing up doesn’t just happen. It doesn’t happen overnight when you turn 18 but it does happen..sounding very much like the shampoo advertisement I remember as a teen I was resisting the temptation to swish my hair. You kind of sort of grow into it some early than most I said. So I could be a grown up and responsible when I’m 18 like they say she said to me holding up a pair of shorts I quickly shot down in flames…I looked at her. Knowing her as I did it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility but I said hmm I’m not so sure I said but you don’t want to grow up to quickly any way.

I went on to say but even when you are all grown up you still have moments of feeling like you have no clue and your 15 all over again…like today I am feeling ‘all grown up’ but yesterday it was like I was standing in my parents doorway wondering what the hell do I do now but I didn’t get to say it the moment had passed we had moved out of Supre and into a funky stationary store and started looking at a selection of pink jelly erasers. Which I grabbed two of because the reality is you even though at times you have to be all grown up you don’t want to be completely all grown up because there is no fun in that.

So what makes you a grown up? A will, kids, knowing what you want or not want? What do you think?

xxDeb

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