the fifo wife

I’m pumping this out this morning, hence the additional errors, because its dawned on me its the 5th of December and for the first time I am done this year and I have managed to keep to budget this year. Now I did save up but because of lots of ‘bugger its’ such as the rental house being infested with termites, unforeseen vet bills, braces, and now the houses stumps need replacing, the husband’s contract was pushed out twice which means no paydays for a month. Also, add to that I want to see my family in New Zealand this year because well time is a ticking for some, the budget was and is tight this year. I couldn’t go over by one cent it. I also didn’t want to dip into the ‘other savings’ account and I don’t believe in credit care debt or personal loans for these things.

So this year I saved money because well I had to..

1. Set a budget. Our entire Christmas budget was $500 this year. Food and gifts for family and friends. I even did a spreadsheet on google sheets which means I could also access it on my phone.
2. Talk to your partner about your budget, what you want out Christmas et. Husband and I aren’t gifting each other this year preferring to spend it on a trip to NZ but the kids will get a toy from Santa, a toy from us and then we get them everything they will need for the next coming year and that includes school lunch boxes, clothes and sporting equipment. Talk to family about gifting. Our family has a rule once the kids turn 18 no gifts.
3. Embrace online shopping if you’re quick you can still make it for the delivery service especially if you live city side. We live regionally so the cut off dates are now cutting it fine. Make the most of free shipping by one stop shopping.
4. If your shopping online you need to install two things onto your laptop or PC both which are free.. Honey and Shopback. Honey will find you vouchers or coupons and automatically apply them at checkout Shop back will give you cash back for shopping at selected retailers and with over $500 including Woolies, Cotton On and ASOS there is a shop for everyone. Yesterday I shopped at best and less going via Shop back (they redirect you to the store’s site) and then Honey applied my coupon and viola I saved $15.00. I then got another $5.00 from Shopback. There are alternatives I’m sure but these are the two I have used and yes I get a referral from sending you there.
5. Talk to your family about quality over quantity. If I got a handmade pink diamond ring I wouldn’t expect anything else..you see my meaning? Be reasonable.
6. Give an experience. This is my favourite way to save and gift. Part of my boy’s gifts this year is the Deadly Sixty show and a trip to NZ. The boys are well aware now that we would rather invest in experiences than things and as they rack up their travel miles they feel the same way.
7. Give kindness and you will never go broke.

Perhaps my biggest advice is don’t forget the big picture. Its one day and Christmas is about the spirit of love, family and giving but that giving isn’t about the latest Xbox. The Christmas spirit of giving is time, love and kindness. It really is that simple. It’s corny but true; you can’t appreciate how many people ache for those things.

xxDeb

It’s our last trip to the city for B2s basketball game this weekend, last week it was a truly seat gripping game and so I can’t wait for this one. None of his brothers want to make the trip down the hill. The hill has just 265 turns as an 800ft elevation rise in just 19kilometeres (really can’t see the problem – can you?) but we are enforcing that brotherly love, as currently, it’s lacking somewhat; and it’s driving me slightly crackers. So bundling everyone up into taking a car ride that ultimately no one really wants to take is exactly the right fix for that right?

Anyway, these are a few things from around the web that I booked marked to read that I thought you might like also.

1. A really interesting interview with the American Chief of Disguise (yes there is such a title) about how spies use disguises.
2. Have you read this piece by Design Mom; I have read it a number of times now and would love to know what you think after reading it.
3. I have heard such mixed reviews about this book- have you read it?
4. Is our lifestyle responsible for our hormones?
5. The amazing world of the Japanese kit kat obsession

Have a great weekend my friends, I would love to know what you are up to.

xDeb

Image is from here with thanks

I worry that your not happy and that’s because of me he said to me this morning.

Why? I said looking up at him.

Because I should make you happy he replied.

I’m not happy when it happens because of me. You have no control of the circumstances behind my happiness or not- I am, I said to him.

My husband thinks about my mental health a lot- I’m guessing. In truth, I have never asked but it became apparent he did when I was struggling one year and he asked if I wanted to kill myself. Despite the depths, my mental health has been I have never been in that much pain. I have wanted to leave, stop being a burden, an embarrassment, a weight to my family- yes- but not kill myself.

When he asked me that one morning; whilst we lay in bed, I cried that I would cause someone I love, that much worry. In the past seven years’s I have had two bouts of depression both brought on by exhaustion. My anxiety battles have tittered me back to the edge numerous times, however, I have been in control of my anxiety for almost 18months now. After finally understanding where it stemmed from and what to do with it. I still get anxiety but after much work, I am in control of it now and I’m not afraid to admit I struggle every now and then.

Regardless of my husband has been amazing since I told him I was struggling all those years ago. He was like Superman the day I crashed and the best thing was he never tried to fix it. That wasn’t what I wanted either, I was sick not broken. In the beginning, he took charge for my own safety as best he could in the middle of the Indian Ocean, he asked for the help I should have yet he never treated me like I was fragile.

Despite my fears that he wouldn’t understand, that he would be disappointed in that I wasn’t able to care for our children, he did understand and he encouraged me to seek help; knowing only I could do that. He gave me the space to get well. He helped me get better. He listened, only gave advice when I asked or he really thought it was necessary because the chemicals in my brain were way out of wack {or I was overreacting to something so very small}. He never got impatient with me because I was unwell and he got that. He didn’t judge my decision to take medication or judge when I came off. He just made sure I knew he was there, that he had my back. He probably wanted to scream and shout at me a thousand times but he didn’t and honestly as I sit here I wonder where he got his patience because this is the man who can’t deal with a scattered pantry let alone a scattered wife but he did.

He did it all again when I become unwell the second time because as a slow learner of not asking for help I hadn’t really learnt my lesson the first time. Then my leftover anxiety from an unresolved problem would rob me of myself. During the past seven years, he never told me to get over it, or that I was being stupid, over-reactive or unreasonable he just didn’t. I can only guess that he knew that it wasn’t who I was.

He made me feel safe to be crazy and I can call myself that because I was so far removed from myself because I was tired, exhausted, irritable and scared that I was crazy. Yet he loved me still and he made me know and feel that.

He did exactly what and all he could for my happiness. He lived up to his in sickness and health vow as promised and that couldn’t make me happier.

xx Deb

We had a student free day yesterday, the husband was due home Sunday but got delayed with the storms in Brisbane not arriving until Monday completely throwing my winging it into disarray.

So my weekly meal planning is somewhat behind but its now done never the less.

Monday night I did up a red noodle curry. It was sensational. I used a store bought red curry paste and some more wining it I teamed it with some asparagus, carrot and cabbage. Yum. Even B3 who insisted that we have a breakfast dinner loved it. The same, but different, inspiration recipe is here.

Tuesday is Korean beef stirfry I am giving it a go after trying some on Sunday night. I know I won’t be able to achieve the same grill intensity for the meat, but we will give it a shot. I’m not using the cellophane noodles that is in this recipe however just a bit of rice.

It’s just a three meat and vegetables for Wednesday. It’s our free day and so I don’t mind ‘slaving’ over the stove. Its crumbed steak from the local butchers and a Gado Gado salad. Its set to be super hot and we are almost in a drought I think. My house is shrinking like it hasn’t in such a long time; I’m going to be truthful though – I make this salad purely for the peanut sauce.

Thursday is an old favourite Chilli Concarne but I’m adding some shredded beef just to mix it up a bit. Sour cream and some lime perfect.

And Friday is the toasted sandwich night. My husband says he is tired of them but seriously how can one ever tire of a toasted sanga? The only advice I have is butter (with a little oil to stop the butter burning in the pan) plus butter of the bread and fry in a pan. I don’t believe the toasted sandwich maker can achieve the same perfection.

What’s on at your place for the week?

xxDeb

Holly Dooley its Friday and I know as a parent it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is we are still working, but school just makes things ever so much more tiresome don’t you think? And I don’t know about you but as the year comes to a close the days somehow get longer and not in the literal sense. Everyone is so tired. I notice B2 is quick to cry, B1 just looks so ragged and B3- well he is just B3. The kids at school are tired too. They lack gusto and those who struggle to sit in class are struggling more so, the work, play load and hot days its a tricky mix.

Add to that I’m not a fan of summer and even though we are technically still in spring here on the Tablelands of FNQ we are almost in drought. The ground is crunchy underfoot and everything smells of dust.

Anyway this weekend we are heading to the city this weekend. We are going to take the boys to the tree playground {we still love playgrounds} and lagoon on the Esplanade for something different to the lake and creeks we normally swim in but depending on the heat we might keep that for Sunday.

Here are a few things I bookmarked from around the web that I thought you might like as much as I do..

1. Knowing how much it costs myself for dental work I have been tempted to head overseas but some things to consider before going overseas for dental health.
2. Ever heard of the basic universal income? Well, trials began in Finland and Canda early this year.
3. An ode to Nora Ephron. Whilst I came to know her through Ophra I have only just started to read her work. Great stuff.
4. A new summer dress. I love the sleeves.
5. 49 Ways to calm an anxious child.

And my favourite comments from posts this week:

On children swearing: I just can’t swear in front of my boy (he’s just about 3). My mum and dad refrained from it with us growing up and it’s something which has stuck with me to today. There are times I would feel better blurting a swear word out but I know ‘as you say’ that I couldn’t tell my boy off if he swore because I swore too. I see a lot of swearing here in Australia as it’s just the slang as you say. It’s a toughie

Tell me what you are up to.

Have a great weekend lovelies.

Deb