the fifo wife

When I met my husband I moved to my back then very small and clicky town; its a different town then and I was a different girl. It was very small and still very old. Then typical of the defence force four days after my arriving in my new town husband left for deployment. I can’t remember the length of time he was gone but it wouldn’t have matter it was horrible and lonely; my saving grace was my husbands grand mother- THE most AWESOME woman in the world. Although It didn’t help that I was this different person back then. Not only was I shy but I was little bit arrogant not a really very good mix. I thought I knew everything and to a degree thought I was above these country hickster’s- to which I was not, at all in any shape or form.

It took my husbands grandmother getting cancer and myself and my mother inlaw caring for her until then end before the world slapped me with a few lessons on community.

Two years later we left for  a new posting interstate on the otherside of Australia those gorgeous country hicksters had given me a lesson and taught me thing or two about life and so breaking into a new community a second time a round took much less time to find my feet. And so when the world went to crap and my then boyfriend left me three weeks later  but this time in a much bigger city with not a single person known to me it was a lot easier.

So here are five tips I learnt about breaking into a new community.

1. Never turn down a invitation to a BBQ or get together. Small towns I found will only offer it once; turn them down once without a really good excuse and they may never ask again.

2. Go to the pub. This is the case in a small town especially. Dont drink yourself silly infact a soft drink is just as accepatable but once a week head to the pub. Its where locals have a tendency to hang out. It creates your presence in town the locals get curious and come on over other times you will have to muster the courage. Or if that’s not your thing head to your new favourite cafe. Talk to the person behind the bar or the person taking your order. Again its all about presence.

3. Join a community group like the lions or CWA..they may be filled with older people but generally they have younger children. Or  join a sports group. With technology as it is you can join groups via face book, insta gram before you even get there.

4. Try and keep the same routine you had a home. If you go to a market on a Sunday find one, attend a gallery on a Saturday find one of those to it gets you out of the house and still talking to people.

5. Take a job doing anything just to become part of the community. I should have done it when I first moved here but I feared I would get stuck in it but if your determined you wont but it will make you a friend or two.

xx D

What are your tips for moving to a small town?

{image source tumblr}

You have the iron levels of a pregnant woman Deb she said to me last week. I held the phone listening to my doctor on the end of the line. Given that I wasn’t pregnant I could have cried that something was wrong and it wasn’t my mind. I had been off for weeks tired moody nothing unusual is what my husband would say but it was worse than usual I would bite back to him. I thought I was dipping into depression and I was scared. Come in and see me and we will chat about what we will do she said.

Iron deficiency whilst shouldn’t be self diagnosed is common in Australia with one in four women and one in six men being iron deficient. According to Associate Professor Al Khalafallah from Launceston Hospital Iron deficiency and iron anaemia is widespread and goes undiagnosed in Australia and costs Australians and our economy millions of dollars each year, with a loss in productivity, a decrease in educational performance, longer stays in hospital after surgery, increased morbidity and potential mortality,”[1].

Iron is needed for a number of the things the body but especially for the making of haemoglobin- the oxygen carrying protein in your blood. Haemoglobin is what the blood needs to pick up oxygen from the lungs and carry it to every cell in your body. Iron is what also gives our blood its characteristic red colour. Absorbed from your food and drink in your intestines iron is then carried to your bone morrow where blood cells are produced. Combined with proteins in the bone marrow it makes haemoglobin. Any additional iron is stored in your liver.

But, if you have a deficiency of iron in your body, your bone marrow will still make red blood but will make cells smaller and that don’t contain enough haemoglobin. These red blood cells then can’t carry enough oxygen to your organs and tissues. This leads to the symptoms of anaemia or iron deficiency.

The cause of iron deficiency can vary from not enough in our dietary intake, pregnancy, intestinal disorders,  the bodies increased need due to intense exercise or a growth spurt. There can be a number of issues as to why you may be depleted of iron…being a mother is just one.

The signs associated with iron deficiency?

Your complexion, lips and gums become paler with the decreased haemoglobin supply. Headaches increase with the decrease of oxygen in your brain as does the increase of fatigue, mood swing and being able to focus on tasks. Menstruation cycle’s becomes heavier. Infections take longer to heal and sometimes their soreness around the edges of your mouth as well as altered tastes. Hair loss and restless leg syndrome can occur with a John Hopkins study showing 15% of those with restless leg syndrome are also iron deficient. Whilst more uncommon there is altered sense of taste, brittle nails, titnus and in some case of extreme deficiency there is pica an abnormal craving to eat substances (e.g., ice, dirt, paint).[2],[3]

Yet Dr Google shouldn’t diagnose your iron deficiency your GP should with a round of blood works and then the if required they will suggest a form of treatment because the signs of Iron deficiency can mean a number of others things also. The dangers of self diagnoses and treatment can lead to iron poising and it’s dangerous and toxic which strangely enough carries some very similar symptoms.[4] Too much iron can be toxic.

So before reaching for an iron supplement or cutting into half a cow to sort out that fatigue or strange desire to snack on your children’s play dough make an appointment with your doctor to see what’s really going before you think your losing your mind.

[1]https://ama.com.au/ausmed/australian-clinicians-leading-iron-deficiency-research

[4]http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002422.htm

I made this salad after getting home Anzac day and feeling terrible. Not sick but the whole previous swing of husband being home and the relaxed nature that comes with it took its toll. As on most weekends there is often too much of a lot of things and ordinarily we keep things pretty much on track but this past swing things got out of control with too many chips, chocolates and alcoholic beverages.

So given that I ate enough Smith chips to make a small raft with I needless to say two days into the start of swing my body was screaming at me to do something and even though the normal eating had returned it felt as though the past month was still purging from my body. And so Beetroot (and carrot usually together) have always been my go to item when I get the occasional hang over. I know not everyone’s hang over cure but I swear by it so with a hangover of the other kind I devoured this faster than you could say ‘no more Smiths chips shall enter my tummy- this week’.

This recipe is from the taste website and it calls for roasting your beetroot which you could do but I didn’t have fresh on hand and so I used what I had whole baby beets in a canned drained. I think it worked just as well as a cold salad..the fresh beets roasted however would be a perfect winter side.

So if your after a quick healthy and tasty salad that will help purge the over indulgence that come with the weekend give this a go. And remember beeteroot and carrot a hangover cure I swear.

Beetroot and Fetta salad..

• 1 medium beetroot (or a small tinned and well-drained beetroot lets be practical here)
• 50g baby spinach
• 1/2 small red onion, thinly sliced
• 75g feta cheese, crumbledsliced cubed what ever you can manage.
• 1/4 cup walnuts, lightly toasted
• 2 tablespoons orange juice
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon dijon mustard

1. Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced. Wash beetroot. Pat dry. Wrap in foil. Place on a baking tray. Roast for 1 hour or until tender. Cool for 15 minutes. Meanwhile prepare remaining ingredients. Wearing gloves, peel and discard skin from beetroot. Cut beetroot into 2cm pieces or…… drained whole tinned beetroot cut halved and quartered.
2. Combine spinach, onion, feta, walnuts and beetroot in a bowl. Toss to combine.
3. Place orange juice, oil and mustard in a screw-top jar. Season with salt and pepper. Secure lid. Shake to combine. Add to beetroot mixture. Toss to combine. Serve.

xxDeb

{image and original recipe from here with thanks}

Well my hate love hate love was in full swing this weekend. Struggle to fill in the time was the word.

Anzac day came but then so did the rain and the amount of time indoors was confining and we eventually we went for a drive come Sunday just to break the cabin fever that the rain can bring.

So plenty of time to think unfortunately fortunately. So here are the few things running through my head this SECOND week of April.

*We went to a market on Saturday the street style was AMAZING for a country fair; loved it. People watching is my favourite thing.

*I want to bottle the confidence that seems to come with wearing Lycra I can’t even to the gym and I want some of that. How does one get that?

*I’m cutting my hair short and I’m not even forty yet..I’m thinking something like this or this or shorter.

* Told someone of I have always wanted to do a tri athlon..they laughed. Im determining if we should continue to be friends.

* Support Sunday was awesome this past Sunday I was over whelmed with response. Thank you.

* Your horoscope here.

* Could you live in this house? Here.

* How to stick to a budget. Here.

* I will believe it when there is a ring. Here.

* This is what we are having for dinner except I’m swapping out the shanks for a roast done in the slow cooker..Here.

xx Deb

{Image from here with thanks}

I sat there in my undersized chair listening to the teacher in awe and fascination as she held her class’s attention. I looked at my boy seated straight up the front, further to the left his best friend Mr N and across the other side was Mr A a little boy who appears randomly on a Saturday morning old school style without phone call without nothing. Dotted amongst them were kids I knew but didn’t.

I then looked right at the back and there he was; Mr Kid. He was seated on his own. He wasn’t part of a row like the others. He was part of the class but disjointedly there. Placed there for whatever reason; a necessary evil I suppose one that is done so as that everyone can learn. He participated he was included and yet he was separate for the good of him and the others.

I sat there looking at this Mr Kid. Sizing him up but yet there wasn’t much about him to size up.

This was the kid amongst others had at the beginning of the week had given my boy grief. Enough grief that it had caused bouts of nightmares and sleep walking. Bullying? I suppose so I dont know what else to call something that despite repeated no’s  or stops continues any way.

So when I went to class reading this day I had expectations of this kid and a couple of others. I had opinions of what you do with kids like these. How they should be handled after all he had hurt mine. What I felt the school and the teachers should do. I had an opinion.

I also had an expectation of Mr Kid when he sat with me this morning for reading. I expected difficult. I expected awful I expected whole lot of stuff. I expected reasons why when his carer drops him off to school that she is always yelling at him; always. There is never not yelling hence he must be a difficult child; a brat because no one yells at their child that much for any other reason and I am not judging her because I am not in her shoes. I hope I am never in a position where I have to take on my children’s children for matters that are none of my business but regardless of that I got that parent attitude one may get when one is meeting the kid that had hurt theirs for the first time.

Relinquished from the teachers control nosily the class disbanded into their reading groups and naturally Mr Kid was in mine. Murphy’s law is always on my side.

I said to Mr Kid as we sat to read ‘what are we reading today Mr Kid’ I had left him till last on purpose. I was hesitant I had never dealt with this kid before. All of what I had heard was second hand knowledge and what I had seen was not a representation of the knowledge because mother hood is tough but still I had that attitude the one where you’re meeting that kid who has picked on your kid and in the process reprimanded your sleep.

The little snowman Mr Kid said his broken front tooth fully visible. Great I replied and what do you know about the book I said. He proceeded to tell me and when he stopped I said to him ‘Have you ever seen the snow?’ Mr Kid. No he said it doesn’t snow at my place. No I said it doesn’t. Would you like to see the snow I said? He looked blankly at me and said B2 has seen the snow looking straight to my boy seated across from me. Yes I said he has but would you like to see the snow Mr Kid? It doesn’t snow at my place he said again tracing the snowman on the cover with his fingers. He wasn’t understanding my question I thought so I said to him when you get older do you think you might like to see the snow? When you’re big like me would you like to go to the snow and build a snow man? He looked at me his eyes brown and wide and said ‘I would like to go to see the snow but that will never happen’. ‘Oh I am sure it will’ I said softly looking at the book. He looked down at the book opened it and said ‘nah it won’t’ and started reading the big bold text on the page.

My heart broke for him right there and I saw Mr Kid in a whole new light one that wanted me to scoop him and say of course you will see the snow because you can do absolute anything, my opinions of how to handle these ‘types’ of kids out the window. My opinions of why they are ‘difficult’ and how to handle it proving me ignorant and misguided and yet suddenly making me fully aware of my impact on my child. My understanding also that the teachers the schools can build them all they like and do their best to deal with it but it’s what happens at home that counts even more and whilst I understand what discpline can do a lot of loving does more and so now I dont know what to do. A teacher a school system a community can’t infiltrate the home.

I looked across at my B2 who I will admit was not doing as he is told and smiled. B2 knows that anything is possible for him as do all my boys. He believes it because it’s what his father and I have told him and have shown him. There is nothing they can’t do and there is nothing that we will not support them with if that’s truly what they want. Most importantly they know they are loved and valued yet that’s not to say Mr Kid isn’t told all of those things but parenthood is hard and throw in life and it’s harder perhaps a matter of survival of the fittest in some households.

Still looking at my boy B2 I noticed he started to misbehave getting rowdier and showing off. Hey I said to B2 settle down…yeah B2 said Mr Kid otherwise you’ll get a flogging…I looked down at Mr Kidd…’he will get a flogging wont he?’ he said back to me ‘No sweet I replied he won’t’.

I wanted to say things have to be pretty bad for a flogging but I didn’t because well who knows what a flogging is for at his house.