a fifo wife {fifo life: bake it: Chocolate fudge}

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It was Monday Queens birthday weekend when B3 wanted to bake something. I dont generally cook with the boys. I should but I dont however this day being Queens birthday the last day after a what had already been along and lesiurely weekend with most of it spent lounging in front of the Tv I had this time had some patience about me.

However its not patience that is required for me to cook with the boys I think its more me being able to accept there will be mess, it will take longer, the measurements maybe out a little its reliqunshing control and understanding that in the end its we are cooking for us not jostling for position at the Royal Easter Show and in reality its he who should have patience for me. Thats the true crux of why we dont cook more together. Its my ability to release control, let it be and let memories be made.

but in the moment I dont think of it like that {sigh} the benefit of hindsight.

So B3 pulled the Donna Hay recipe book from the shelf and procedded to flip through the pages like a  banker with a pile of money and stopped at the chocolate fudge. I want that one he said..It looked easy enough I thought I then turned to get the ingrediants and quicker than one of my dogs after my place in the bed went the husband in my place. He wanted to make something ‘fancier’ so not wanting a fight or in truth to make anything fancier I stood aside and watched my husband excude patience and restraint not to fuss as milk spilt and cocoa flew every where. All awhile daddy recounted with B3 listening intenetly to the story of how a tin of condensed milk exploded in his face when he was trying to impress a girl as a love struck teen. The end result? of husbands story? a little scare on his cheek from the boiling sugar and wholelot of mess but otherwise two fudges made; this one and a ‘fancier’ version aswell as Im sure a memory made for them and I know a lesson learnt for me.

However between you and me..this one went far quicker and there was no baking just restraint and patience as it took its sweet time to harden slighltly in the fridge.

 Chocolate Fudge.

What you will need

  • 400g chocolate, chopped
  • 395g can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 150g unsalted butter, chopped

How to:

Place the chocolate, condensed milk, vanilla, butter and liqueur in a saucepan over low heat and stir until the chocolate is melted. Increase the heat to medium-high and simmer for 3–4 minutes or until the mixture is smooth and slightly thickened. Carefully pour the mixture into a lightly greased 16cm-square tin lined with non-stick baking paper and smooth over with the back of a spoon. Refrigerate for 2 hours or until set. Remove from the refrigerator. Using a sharp knife, cut the fudge into 4cm squares and wrap each piece in non-stick baking paper. Makes 16.

{recipe from here  and image from here with thanks}

a fifo wife {a fifo wife: a few things}

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The weekend is over. Its Monday, its cold and I like it. Love it. The rain I could give a miss for awhile but I live in hope that it will clear and the farmers need it I suppose lets not get selfish. Husband is still home but thats okay work is just around the corner I am sure. At the moment he is you-tubing how to gyp-rock a wall after we decieded to shift a wall because why not huh? We want to renovate the enitire back section and build in under our old home but thats been put on the back burner -again but the toliet door it needs to be shifted- its opens on to the lounge room. Urgh nothing like going to the toliet and having your household inlcuding visitors know what what you have been doing {or smelling if that be the case}.

So here we are the second week of June, second week of winter and oh so close to tax time these are the few things running through my head.

1. I learnt a valuable lesson on fear this weekend. It has it good and its bad aspects but you need it.  Its great to keep yourself in check and grounded but if you let fear take you over it will stunt you in more than one way. Still Im scared shiteless…

2. My meal plan for the week San chow bau, chilli con carne, hamburgers, sausage casserol, corned beef and veg..we meaning I are empting the freezer and clearing the pantry with the hope that when we run dry husband will go to work we are almost to the bottom.

3. I have a lump in my throat had it since we came back from Paris so naturally I have decied its a tumor doctor google told me so.

4. Imagine doing seven months straight at work here.

5. Missed my kids this weekend so I ate and drank my weight in tim tams and coffee. Its okay its winter I have cloteh

6. A quick personality test..

7. Esprit has a new maternity range…where was this when I was having babies?

8. Your horoscope for the week here.

9. Beauty secrets Liv Tyler learnt from her dad here.

10. A HIV couple have three kids all HIV free..here.

Have a great week.

Deb

a fifo wife {fifo life: real life fifo: Kieran 21:7}

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Kieran was one of the first ‘blokes’ to start commenting on the FIFO wifes face book page and so along the way he has become part of the team that makes up not only the page but Support Sunday..His comments always thoughtful, insightful and full of character that they never fail to make us smile. Recently I personally have got to meet him {and his very spunky wife Nic and family} and they are justs as lovely in person and so it seemed only fitting and fair that you got to know a little more about them too.

Was there a reason you started FIFO? I.e. deposit for a house, lifestyle. Or where you single what was your reaction when telling women about your roster?  Did you talk about it before starting fifo (as a couple) or the relationship? How long has FIFO been part of your relationship, was there a time limit? Has this happened?

Well, I was in my first real job out of school (im a high school dropout), not having any guidance about a career from my parents and no real passions to speak of, I spent 5 years there starting at the bottom working my way up to a point where I was being blocked from progressing due to an “old boys club” attitude, these guys had been there 25 + years so the thought of a young bloke with a bit of nous knocking on the door wanting to progress scared them I suppose, so I started searching the net for new opportunities with what I could do, found a 2/2 roster in WA, applied and was successful, they moved my wife and I and all our worldly possessions to Perth for a FIFO role.  Of course we had a dream of having our own house, but it wasn’t the motivating factor in the new role, it was for career progression, my first FIFO role on the other side of the country from where we lived actually paid less than I was earning at my local job in Qld.  The 2/2 lifestyle was just a bonus, I actually found myself getting bored in a new city by the time the 2 weeks rnr was up, sounds strange but it was true, lack of friends in new city, wife working, it was lonely.

 My wife and I are high school sweethearts (together 16 years this June) she being a local to our town being born and bred, Me, my first 12 years of life I was moved everywhere including overseas, so it was a massive decision for us to move to the other side of the country and to a new city where we knew absolutely no one, not one person, but it was an opportunity and risk we were willing to take, I will be forever grateful to her for uprooting and moving away with me considering she had never lived anywhere else.  Newly married and wanting kids and here we go, making such a big decision that was to and has changed our lives forever.

 We have now been FIFO for coming up on ten years (how time flies when your having fun), ive had a career change in that time and am now a FIFO construction fella working for global EPCM companies the last 5 years building some of Australia’s largest projects (LNG).  We never had a time limit on FIFO, it was more a see what happens approach, I honestly was still not sure if this is what I wanted to do when we started.

 What do I like best about FIFO

My list is so long but here goes –

I love the fact that I can separate work from home and family time, I literally switch off from work mode the moment I swipe out and head to my donga for a shower before catching the 2 busses and 3 flights I have to get home.  I love the fact that when I land at the airport and disembark, I see my beautiful daughter squealing in delight “Daddy, Daddy you’re home, I love you Daddy” and running over to me at the speed of sound for a big cuddle, of course I love seeing the look of confusion on my 13 month old sons face and him thinking, hey that’s my dad…THAT’S MY DAD and a big smile and seeing those 5 teeth that he’s managed to get down and his waving at me.  Im the only dad who’s in the pool at swimming lessons 2 hours after I land guiding my children through this life skill, if I was a mon – fri working dad, I would not be able to do this, yes I only do it 1 in 4 weeks, but I cherish it.  The week off, who doesn’t love that, yep I get one whole week off, that’s 3.5 weekend in a row, I get soo much done in this time and we get our groove on.

What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO, what would change if you had a magic wand.

Not much really, except it’s hard to plan social event’s bbq’s with friends, trying to get everyone to line up with when your home.  Social events that cannot be controlled by us, like a community fundraiser, fun run etc etc, I want to be involved with these but most of the time it falls when im away, mostly two days after I fly out.  Kids milestones, like dancing eisteddfod’s, these are so important to me but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.  Birthdays / xmas, we have them when we can, we still celebrate like everyone else.  We’ve had our two kids so falling pregnant wasn’t an issue for us – like Nike says “just do it” or wave the magic wand!…lots and pregnancy will occur.

 How do you and your wife fit marriage into the balance?  Do you think FIFO makes you be more romantic?  Do you put more effort into your marriage, what do you do to maintain your marriage to keep It  healthy (i.e. communication, date nights)

Being married to my best mate is the best thing that ever happened to me, we make time for each other, you have to, its non-negotiable in our marriage.  I think of it as stopping and smelling the roses, life gets away from us sometimes and you just have to put your arms up and stop, appreciate each other.  Im not the most romantic bloke in the world but I think I go ok, im not really a flowers guy, they die to quickly for my liking, id rather cook her a lovely dinner, run her a nice relaxing bath, light some candles with a nice smell, give her some time out from the kids, so yes I do think it makes you more romantic, well it does to me anyway, it all comes back to the fact that this lady is my rock, soul mate, best mate, lover, confidant, shes just my everything, and she deserves some romance when im home, it could be as simple as a foot rub or could be extravagant, I mix it up a bit.  Putting more effort into my marriage is a strange choice of words for me, I just put in the effort, my marriage is not tough, how could it be when we just hit it off, yes we have our spats, who doesn’t but we move on quickly, being open and honest makes it so easy.  We have at least one date night when im home, that could be, put the kids in bed, and just have dinner at home, just the two of us enjoying each other’s company, or it could be a date night in town, we do generally do this every time im home, we also try and have a family date night, just the 4 of us going out for dinner and an ice-cream on our way home.

 Do you find you have trouble balancing your time off i.e. You< partner, kids?

Having only  a week off I don’t have time to balance much, I just throw myself into everything, our daughter needs to be kept busy and active, our son will be the same we think, so we are generally very very busy every week regardless on if im home or not, Im a husband and dad before anything else, I like it that way, so ill always find time to balance their requirements before mine, like at 5pm when im outside and my daughter asks, dad can we go for a bike ride or got to the park,  ill always find time, these are memories I won’t get back, they mowing can wait!  My wife is very understanding of the fact that we all need al little time to ourselves though, I might scoot out for an hour while the kids are sleeping and take my motorcycle for a ride, I don’t need much time, after all I have 3 weeks to myself out here.

 How do I handle fitting back into routine? Dealing with Discipline?

As for fitting back into routine, that’s easy for me, 2 hours after getting home form the red eye and connecting flight im in the pool for swimming lessons, I literally throw myself into the routine, im very familiar to it, I stay in touch with the activities the kids are doing, I find im not affected with not adapting.  I respect my wife’s method of discipline, it’s basically the same as mine, I put myself in the naughty corner before she has the chance to send me there…..but in all seriousness, my wife is very very fair with our kids, I can hop onto Skype or the phone if she needs me (yes we have done it), sometimes my daughter needs to be told by dad to reinforce what Mum has already said.  When im home if I need to do it then I do, we are familiar with how we discipline so it’s easy for us.

 How do you stay in connected to your family while im away?

Skype calls every morning before the bus ride to work, I don’t get mobile reception in my office but im hooked up with IT and have access to the private company wifi, so we use the APP called viber, we can video call on that also.  Contact with them is critical for me, keeps me happy and gets you through those tough days, I generally have a handful of voicemail messages on my mobile after work, mostly from my daughter and son, they don’t make much sense, but I love them.

 Do I get lonely on the construction site?

Quite simply, I don’t have time to get lonely, im busy enough at work, I have gotten myself a small group of friends here (I tend not to socialize too much), im very busy outside of work hours.  I have my down days, everyone does, we are away from our loved ones, so on days where I know it’s an important day back home, like my daughters first day of pre prep last month, that gets you down as I’d love to be there for that, but hey, when she called me at the end of her day, it was just like being there, I knew everything.  My wife sent me pics etc.

 How do you manage life away? Do you have a routine sleep, eating, exercise and personal space issues at the construction camp?

My life here at camp/site is busy, im at work form 7pm until roughly 6pm, im used to longer hours than that but that’s what this job is, im at the gym by 630 pm for a spin class 4 nights a week on the other 3 nights im pounding away on the treadmill, dinner around 815pm, back to my room and study as im doing university, study will most nights take me to around 1130pm, (my wife thinks I turn the lights off at 930pm) but Uni is quite consuming and im a little daunted by it but im getting there.  Then im up by 315am and off to the gym for weights, I alternate between upper and lower body.  There are a lot of temptations here to get lazy and un healthy, but to counteract that we have the best recreation / healthy life activities I’ve ever seen on a site – nothing else compares, we have two state of the art gymnasiums better than what’s available in my home town, group classes every night for all different pursuits, plus another 3 smaller gyms.  Personal space is not an issue here as we all have our own ensuited rooms, though we have to change rooms every time we return, we have a 5000 man camp, so as you can imagine it’s very large but its world class.

 What’s the most surprising thing your partner has managed whilst your away? 

She managed to get half the washing machine pulled apart when it was staining our white sheets before our neighbour came over and helped with the rest, when she sent me some pics of where she was up to I was surprised but proud too.  Oh and she managed to read the solar panel inverter and tell me how many Kilowatts  we had made on a certain day, another proud moment.  I try and have most things under control for her while im away so hopefully no surprises for her.  Though we have retired neighbours, so he comes over on his ride on and mows and whipper snips, does the gardening, snake removal, mice catching, irrigation repairs.

 What advice would I give to newbies to FIFO?

If it’s something you want to try, then just embrace it for all it has to offer, there will be good and bad with everything in life, FIFO is the same, don’t try it if you’re not in a stable relationship, I’ve seen so many mates relationships go down the gurgler, it breaks my heart, I’ve seen some guys that are just broken men / likewise for some women.  Have a good strong base at home.

 It has offered our family so much, we won’t ever forget what FIFO has done for us and what it has enabled us to do firstly as a younger couple who were just newly married to now having two children as well.  It has given me (remember im a high school dropout) such a bright future, one that im now studying Uni so I can again better myself within this industry. I, as a husband and dad miss them so terribly much while im away, but it’s what we do and we love it.

 We’re a FIFO family after all.

a fifo wife {fifo life : me : asking for help..or drinking swamp juice}

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You got to start taking your own advice Deb and ask for help when you need it. Isnt that what you say? I could hear him but I changed the subject because I was embarrassed I was even here at this point – again. A bout of exhaustion my second in five years is where we were at. Turns out my tantrum the other day (which may or may not have last a week) was so out of character my family freaked out and well here we me watching my dad fuss in the kitchen I am embarrassed needlessly to say as I write this.

Embarrassed that they were worried about me. Embarrassed that my neighbours who are my family who call on me when they need help are confused because I wont do the same to them. Embarrassed that my boys told their teachers that mummy was crying in the kitchen. Embarrassed because it’s so simple and avoidable.

Can you help me? Give me a hand? Can you come around and help me? Such simple words and who would have thought it would cause so much trouble being able to say. Its not like they spanish. ‘Why cant I ask for help’ I said to mum ‘I don’t know because your like me I suppose’ ‘Great is what I thought with that answer. Fricking great. All is lost.

Asking for help isn’t just asking for help for me. It’s like placing a red lighted arrow above me with the words failure irresponsible and look at me accompanying it. What will people think of me. Will see me for what I am a possible phony? Who can’t do her ‘lifestyle’ the one she and her husband chose? Asking for help bring’s on the same feeling that public speaking does I want to vomit all over my shoes, I break into a sweat (literally) and my audience be it just one person either in person or on the phone becomes all hazy like as I battle to stay conscious rather than faint creating even more drama over a few simple words.

Trouble is (like many of you) I am fiercely independent and so asking for help makes me feel all of those things and I will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid asking for help. I will bury my head in the sand, will convince myself I just got to hang out one more day, or if I just get my schedule right . Because it’s always because my schedule isn’t right bugger the fact there is one of me..three boys, four dogs, one cat, to many chickens, three sport activities, several investments to run, a shop to boost into action before my husband reclaims his shed, the regular house to run, the garden, the nagging tenant who is missing one TV channel, the cat being sick, the chickens have gone awol, the dog with his cancer, numerous other non spiecfic dramas and to add to it off I have seen the sun since March.

So not only was I lacking in vitamin D, sleep, I haven’t had time to get my eyebrows shaped it was no wonder the world ended in a tantrum and my father flew in over night to hold my hand,  cry and sideward glance at me like I’m some poor fragile thing not really sure what to do but fill me with green stuff that tastes looks and smells like the bottom of a swamp.  That will fix you up he says.

So in order to avoid this whole akward scenario again including having to drink that bottom of the swamp mix here is what I have concluded but know anyway. No one can do everything on their own god we can’t even make babies on our own so whats the big deal with asking for help. Its not admitting defeat or being seen as inadequate. Its none of the crazy quirky stuff going on in side of this plan jane head of mine but this is where that crazy stops.

Because this is the other thing..I want to be successful at this gig called life just life nothing else..just life I really do. I want my boys really to see me as a superstar. I want my husband to see me as a superstar. I dont want my mum or dad racing down to hold my hand every time I fall into an exhausted mess. I’m 37 years old I need to work this crap out. I need to understand seriously that asking for help is not a sign of failure, it’s not being irresponsible it’s not passing off my responsibilities or taking a free ride its none of that. Its called getting ahead. Its called being smart it’s called delegating and outsourcing. After all Jolie can’t have a superstar life with the help of nannies, Will I am said he wouldn’t be where he is without good people helping him. My husband wouldn’t be where he is without me (I’m taking that and running with it as far as I can) My friend Carol couldn’t run her store without her mother, daycare and an incredible support teams help. My friend Lucy says she couldnt have her four kids without the help of her mother, Jasmine cant do it with out the help of a cleaner and Melissa she cant do it without scaraficing her marriage some how. Women that have it all cant and I dont mean in terms of work, career, success I mean balance, sense of self, sanity and being able wear lipstick they can’t do it all alone they have others helping like an entourage whether it be friends, family or outsourced help. Asking and accepting help (oh thats a whole other thing) that is the only way anyone can get this crap done with suffering some sort of ‘episode’ or something being  ‘lost’ like your kids childhood or being able to shower.

So whats the difference with me? Apart from the fact its me? Nothing?

So this month when ever my husband goes back to work and lets hope christ its soon I am like a Miley Cyrus promising to wear under garments Im going to do my damnest  to do it Im going to ask for help when I need it…yes I am..or at least when all else fails and I’m teetering on the verge of the ugly cry in my kitchen because no body including my sons teacher needs to know about that.

xx Deb

a fifo wife {fifo life: a few things}

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We got back from road tripping Sunday and home has never looked so good. We were only gone for a few days but I missed her this house of ours. She signifies us. She is old quirky with traits all her own and she has housed families since 1922 and she has a smell all her own. A smell of wood, children, dogs, linen, age and it’s what I love most about coming home. The smell of her as you first walk in the door. Its comforting. So when we arrived to heavy rain and cold air. It was winter and it was delicious. We unpacked, turned on the Tv, lit the fire and that is about as much as we have done ever since.

Just. As. Winter. Days. Should be.

In fact now its Wednesday morning it was Monday when I wrote that and the weekend was and is now but a dream but these are the few things running through my head.

1. The road trip was just a short one and even though it was just shy of five hours I noticed something really significant about my kids and family. My children thrived on it. My husband and I chatter. My kids they were eager to talk, read the road signs, play I spy and made up games using addition and subtraction. We don’t have electronic equipment in our car ..there is no dvd, ipad or ipods its just us or the window. I like that.

2. My meal plan for the week Potatoe bake with rocket salad, pork laksa, taco’s, chilli concarne, spaghetti and meat balls and chicken tortillas.

3. We were at a Mc Donalds on our way south and husband took on some youths being gobby. I have never been so proud to call him my husband.

4.We saw Malificent I loved it. Jolie was amazing and the lips loved them the colour used on them found..here.

5. It’s a seeming never-ending problem..when you work your arse off and start getting rewarded financially people fail to see the hard work never it took to get you there. They forget that part.

6. Im setting up shop literally…I have always wanted to have a book store. No point in wanting I will keep you posted.

7. Taylor swift gets crafty here.

8. Living small has never been so stylish or portable here.

9. Rules for your wife from 1913. Thank goodness we have moved on here.

10. Since the Sandy Hook shooting in the US there have been a further 74 school shootings in the US? What is so hard to understand about gun control here.

{image with thanks to here}