the fifo wife

I have put my back out, neck out I don’t which but something is out giving me the headache from hell so along with a cold lingering, the dog being poisoned and now my back I think Murphy’s Law has done his duty and is now safe to leave. I’m giving him permission in the nicest way. Needless to say when my alarm went off this morning I had all great intentions of going to the gym but 545am rolled around and I just couldn’t lift myself out of bed and so I’m now on the hunt for a chiropractor that can get me in today because my do it yourself method of having the boys walk on my back is not doing the trick and this swallowing Panadol, aspirin and ibprofun like sweets will not do.

Regardless of the elephant kicking around in my head the weekend was a good one. All the boys had play dates on Saturday arranged very last-minute as I battled an oncoming migraine from my suspect back neck and so I’m thankful to the parents who took them in at short notice. Ordinarily I would have kept them a home and tried my aspirin and a dark room fix with them glued to the TV not wanting to bother anyone but in my new resolution to ask for help rather than fall into a heap they were taken in for the day by friend-a-family. I am thankful beyond words. Come the evening I was all good but exhausted as crazy as that sounds getting a migraine makes me tired and without fail I will generally sleep well that night.

Sunday then saw us make up for lost time both in work and family time. Sunday is our family day. We meaning husband and I like to make it exclusively for us as a unit; as the boys get older I’m sure that will change but I’m living the dream it wont.

Regardless of how Sunday was here I am back to where I was Saturday so as I lay there this morning these were the few things running through my head.

1. I’m heading to NZ at the end of the month for a week to visit my Aunt. I picked up air fares from the Gold Coast to Auckland for $129.00- I know there is reasons etc and I know that NZ is just across the road but I can’t even fly to Perth for that.

2. I am having a ‘garage sale’ this weekend at the Markets. I have officially closed my online store ‘big house’ it feels good. I thought it would be sad but she served me well and we have grown apart and together. I’m looking forward to the de-clutter.

3. I can’t stop thinking about Robyn Williams. Life line 131114.

4. I’m looking forward to summer but not. Summer means shorts. Lets just ponder that thought whilst I run to the treadmill and devour my last tim tam.

5. I married a really good man. I can’t say it enough. Husband I am so proud to be your wife. Seriously proud.

6. I can’t get enough of looking at real women’s bodies..just can’t here it’s helping with my summer and short issues.

7. How to get a good night sleep here.

8.Depression and Parkinson’s have been linked here.

9. My eyebrows along with my eye-lashes are the only thing I could say I like about my face {sad but true} so when women pluck their brows until there is nothing left I feel despair for them {also why I leave plucking to professionals}..however now there is a solution for those that have plucked too far ..eye brow transplants here.

10. From the Australian director of the expendable a really short sweet film you got to watch it..12 minutes here

xxD

{image with thanks to here}

I am having a love affair with my slow cooker this swing. I throw everything in the slow cooker, take the boys out and I walk back into the house feeling like I have my crap together because I have not only taken the boys out spent time with them then come home and dinner is cooked. I’m going back to the simple things dinner has become so much of a drama of late so it’s now simple stuff although be warned the flavour of this recipe is far from simple..its gooey,rich and sticky..but the cooking is simple so we are half way there.

And I know that I have posted a “pulled pork’ recipe before but this one is beef and was just a little tasty..although very strong in flavour and I think would it be perfect for ribs? I used half a rump roast that was rolling around at the bottom of the freezer and it worked perfect. There is no story with this one though..it literally cooked over the course of two days as I cooked it Sunday the day we went waterfall hunting and used it Monday night served with potato and zucchini mash instead of rolls.

I then used the leftovers in a meat pie using some mince also rolling around the bottom of the freezer and used the gravy I had made when deglazing the pan..that meat pie was apparently inspiring. Then as a toasted sandwich with some strong cheddar cheese…my mouth is watering at the thought of what was.

Anyway enough it was simple and tasty the most important thing.

Pulled Braised Beef and Onions

What you will need:

canola or olive oil, for cooking
1 eye of round or top round beef roast
2 onions, halved and thinly sliced
1 1/2 cups beef stock
1 1/2 cups barbecue sauce
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

2 Tbsp. maple syrup (optional)

2 Tbsp. of grainy mustard
a few cloves of garlic, crushed

How to:

In a heavy pan, heat a drizzle of oil over medium-high heat and brown the roast on all sides. Meanwhile, toss everything else together in a slow cooker;  top with the browned meat.

(If you think of it deglaze the pan and make a gravy for later during the week for steak or meat pie?)

Cover and cook on low (in the slow cooker) for 6-8 hours.

Using two forks, pull the meat apart in the sauce and serve on soft buns. Serves about 10 (depending on the size of your roast).

xx Deb

I didn’t post yesterday the world wasn’t on the right axel somehow…it was going okay then I spoke with husband and well then it kind of went off kilter somehow. Not his fault it’s the usual story…broken sleep it does crap to my brain.

The husband he didn’t sound right {to me despite the fact I asked a zillion times and he said I’m fine a zillions times back I still thought otherwise *drama queen* as I do when I can’t look into his eyes} and of course there starts all the questions in my head did I say something wrong, did I write something wrong, is he okay, is the job going okay are the crew okay then it was back to what did I say. Needless to say he was probably tired doing a 16 hours of ‘physical’ labour it does that to you but of course I being ‘mentally’ tired  I analysed everything “wrong” in my tired head, I then looked at the pile of washing, my unswept floors, my to do list was longer than the paper it was written on. You know the drill?

I then of course became overwhelmed. Panic stricken then guilty. Tired all over again. It was all too much. All that hoorah.

And what do I do when I become overwhelmed? I sit or I fluff around in circles all the while thinking of stuff that doesn’t need to be thought of which of course makes things worse because for me because that leads to frustration and getting nothing actually done but making the whole thing insurmountable. Annoyance then sets in as does the wanting to devour more Tim tams and Smiths chips than my local shop can carry.

So it was while I was sitting there on my couch dog either side coffee in hand tim tam in the other that I realised I was watching Sesame Street. My kids had been at school for a few hours but still the TV was blaring away on ABC 2 {oh ABC 2 how you have served me as a sitter well} It was whilst some little creature manoeuvred awkwardly with a humans hand up its bottom that I heard it from the TV…

‘When you’re frustrated  …Take a step back. Have a look around and start again’…well something like that…

The scene was a little monster not being able to find his shoes and he was frustrated obviously this was fictional because he would have screamed muuuuum I can’t find my shoes…and he wouldn’t have a problem of being frustrated mummy would have… Anyway the point was I went ‘ah ha’…and it was an Oprah moment brought on by Sesame Street…see the value of television should never be underestimated.

So in realising I was in my usual ‘overwhelmed’ cycle that if not nipped in the bud right then and there could go on for days…I stopped took a “step back and had a look around” where I promptly decided to finish my coffee and start the day again.

So my five tips for when you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed:

1. Step back….have a coffee or go outside for just a minute have breather…get yourself together being overwhelmed is just your brain getting scrambled for a minute..Coffee, Tims tams and a new scene (not on the telly) are usually the best prescription for this…and cutting yourself some slack..

2. Write a list and deal with the most important thing first. Just do it. The pile of washing may be high but like a bikini wax just get in get down and its all smooth sailing from there. The same goes with work dead lines…make a plan of attack and do it. In the case of your husband…seven minute once a day phone calls can be a pain in the bum…and all you can do is distract yourself from the madness in your head ..I have no other advice but distraction until you can ask them one last time is everything okay…

3. Ask for help and allow someone to help you…now in yesterdays case I didn’t require help but in previous case when the boys were little and cleaning the house with them there was like shovelling snow while it’s snowing I should have asked for help. I should have asked the neighbours to take them..It may have prevented that little ‘exhaustive’ episode which was not pretty I had months following after not asking for help. People like helping each other its that simple.

4. Learn how to say no and prioritise what’s important …learning how to say no is hard but it’s good for all involved the world won’t end . And realising what’s important can sometimes be hard and it’s often trial and error until the balance is found.

5. I don’t have a tip five …but since this is a five tips post it had to go in but if you have one care to share the love?  How do you deal with things when feeling overwhelmed and frustrated?

XxD

The weekend over one down three more to go. My love hate for the weekend still exist but as the boys get older it’s getting easier I’m vowing not just to exist through the weekend but to live it. So this weekend we went out exploring. Went on a waterfall hunt. Typically as it is with boys an obscure path was found and once said path was found we couldn’t stay on it and ordinarily I would have said no I don’t have towels go not a step further but even I couldn’t resist the steep descent and muddy stairs that had been built into the tree roots below. The end result apart from our terribly muddy bottoms as the ground slid from under us and tree roots not holding our weight was a sight to behold. Reaching the bottom of the stairs; finally squeezing through a fern and moss-covered tunnel it opened in front of us like something out of the lost world again and typically I swore; I hadn’t brought my camera. So hands on hips I said oh well you can’t take pictures of everything use your mind boys remember this. Its like dinosaur time is what the boys screamed as they perched themselves on top of the rocks overlooking the roaring dark pool below. We will come back I said we must show daddy this and so we turned and headed back because we wanted to go no further without him. So the weekend ended on a high with dinner already made, B3 too tired to even argue about the Shepards pie having too many vegetables in it.

These are the few things running through my head this second week of August ..the beginning of the 19th week till Christmas.

1. Last week Murphy arrived early with Big Boy the cancer dog going down with Rat bait {he is on recovery with thanks to my neighbours dog giving a blood transfusion} so far Murphy has only blessed me once although I’m sure he has a follow-up routine for me some time this swing.

2. B1 got his first leach yesterday after his adventure. Of course his leg was going to fall off.

3. Last Thursday I got a ‘layered peel’ ie a Latic acid peel. I had one before at my beauty therapist although this ‘layered peel’ was a gift and was from a ‘medical cosmetics clinic’ and so having had one before I thought nothing of getting another. So as I was sitting there my skin feeling as though it was being bitten by a thousand ants I asked the difference because there was a difference and because I’m a sharer here is the difference so you can make sure in advance that you are appointment free for a week.  A beautician uses a lesser strength acid but a ‘medical cosmetic clinic’ because they have a registered nurse on board so they use medical strength acid which explains why this time I have lost a layer of my face. Please don’t make  eye contact with me I don’t look pretty although I can’t be too bad because this time {compared to my skin cancer removal} B1 hasn’t told me he feels like vomiting when he looks at me. I’m just glad husband is at work; beauty and me just don’t seem to mix.

4. “My husband is away” she was telling a group of people the other day “and won’t be home for two weeks, I have to do everything myself” she exclaimed moving her pram filled with a toddler forwards and backwards whilst we waited in line. They then flustered after her and her child like she was hatching eggs. I only hope they didn’t catch me rolling my eyes; I don’t think it will reflect well on me.

5. Im going to be missing my kids Christmas concert {because its being held in September} which means both husband and I won’t see it except for the replay as a movie screen production however now my kids now no longer want to attend at all…guilt guilt guilt.

6. Renee Witherspoon instagram account here.

7.  A love affair or a practical marriage? One mans story here got me planning a month of spontaneity {I know complete contradiction} for next swing. Routine sometimes can have its downside.

8. Organising tips for your home here.

9. Love this ottoman here from Vanilla Belle {one of the fab sponsors that support and keep the FIFO wife running a small Australian business what more could you ask for?}

10. Why you can get to the big ‘O’ here well perhaps..others practise makes perfect.

xx Deb

{image with thanks to here}

“Yeah he will leave the defence once we get married” she said.

“He doesn’t like it” I asked?

“Nah I don’t want him to do it anymore.” she said twisting her self like a two year old spinning their skirt as she spoke

“how long has been in?” I asked.

“12 years” she replied.

“So you have been together how long” I asked not that it was any of my business.

“Four months” she replied. Fair enough I thought. My husband and I were practically married after 8 months; each to their own.

“and you are getting married when?” I asked.

“Oh we haven’t set a date yet” she said smiling at me.

“Right” I said thinking of how to change the subject because something told me he may not even know he was getting married yet.

“Yeah I’m not going to be the wife of some Ponggo” she said “even though he says he loves it we can’t have a family while he is in the defence and I want lots of babies.”

I looked at her trying to determine her age but the shiny forehead and pillowed cheeks were giving me none of that. It didn’t matter though. My mind made up because it was at this point I found her almost as offensive as the perfume she was wearing. And it took all my might not to give a quick slap to the cheek. But I had met people like her before because when I met my husband one of the first things people asked was “how can you date someone who is in the defence force. Surely he will leave or you would want him to but I never wanted him to”. So I got the mentality but instead I said because I can never help myself.

‘When my husband was in the defence I knew that when I met him. I knew that was part of him. I knew it was important to him. And so in knowing that and loving him I knew I would have to support him. Just as he did throughout my career and as he does now when I throw his secrets out into the World Wide Web. It would be a pity I continued if your partner gave up what he loved without you giving it a go first. Perhaps I finished with you could agree on a time like he does another year after your married and then you go from there. If it’s not working then you can discuss it further because after 12 years it’s kind of like it’s part of him like your career  is a part of you”

But she didn’t offer up her career or anything else instead she looked at me and continued to look at me. Like she wanted to bitch slap me and so I shifted on the spot nervously and clenched my jaw just in case all the while cursing myself for having opened my mouth.

But instead she raised her hand placed it on her hip and said “so I have to give up my dreams for him then”

“Ah no. That’s not what I said” I snapped back “and nor should anyone ever do that” I said shifting a little so that the slapping I might receive would be on par with what Orlando tried to give Bieber recently.

And so here is Happy Marriage Tip number eight: Supporting each other. And not just in career but in everything. Relationships are fifty-fifty. What matters to you must matter to them {unless of course it is not beneficial to them or your relationship in the long-term then you must seek help to fix it.} You must support each other in every facet of your relationship from family, career, money, kids and hobbies {like pretending that you see the same love and joy in doing up a car that is costing you more shoes than you care to think about}. If you’re not happy then talk to them and discuss it. A relationship cannot be one-sided sure in times of illness, stress, or career change then sure one partner often takes the load but it’s must not be anything that the other wouldn’t do and it must be a continued conversation to ensure the health and happiness of all involved. If we can’t consider and support each other with some give and take then its doomed. Its tiring emotionally and physically when its one-sided all the time. And you don’t inflict things like that on to people you love on purpose and if they do its time for some serious talk and action.

So whilst I didn’t say any of that to her because I really didn’t see the point I did for my own safety play the distraction game that you often do with toddlers who are about to throw a tantie and asked her about the very sweet shoes she had on her feet.

“Oh he brought them for me in some little town in the UAE. There a bit tight but” she said tipping her foot so I could get a better look.

“On deployment whilst he was defending our country?” I asked.

“Yes” she said with a sigh; which is how my sons carry on when they are tired of listening to me.

“How nice of him to consider you while someone was trying to shoot him” I said matter of factly.

And like my sons she turned on her heel and left without a word.

xxDeb