I get asked this constantly. Is it hard being a fifo wife? I also get oh you poor thing being on your own all that time coping with the kids. However my take on it is this we love it. Most of the time. There is the odd occasions when I have the odd melt down but you know my opinion suck it baby and that’s a rare event.
The FIFO swing we do is 4weeks on and 4 weeks off. The end result is this: my husband is home for a full solid month and in that time he is the best dad and husband in the world. He attends swimming lessons, basketball practise, he is never too tired to play dinosaurs or tickles in the backyard. I watch my neighbours husbands leave at 5am and get home tired at 6pm. Working six days a week and too tired to play and enjoy the kids on a Sunday, their only day off. My husband is there 100% in the moment for that entire month both for them and me.
Being a fifo wife for me means I can be a stay home mum to my three beautiful boys. Without this job I would never have been able to do this and I may have not had as many children without it; sad but true. Most days I love being a stay at home mum I will occassionally tell you otherwise but who doesnt its a tough job with a tough cliental. I’m also grateful that my husband is supportive of me like you wouldnt believe and for that I am so thankfull. He has helped me make my dream of a little shop a reality and without this job Im not sure that couldve happened. i love being so independent. I love who this job has made me become. What my family has become.
Then there is the money and I would be lying if I said that wasnt the other driving force of doing this lifestyle. Its crazy money. We have been sensible but we always have been. We have invested and we try to live off the least amount we can as we want to be prepared for when the boys say “dad I want you home all the time” at the moment they know that without daddy working away there is no holidays, house, toys and tiger time. We have been doing this their whole lives. Yet the moment one of them or me says its time I want to be ready to be able to have what I have now because I love the family bonds that we have. We are a close family and I believe its due to the job and its money that we have that. We dont have the financial stresses that most do, so we enjoy each other more.
So what about missing the big things like birthdays and christmas? We dont miss them we make a date and we move them forward and celebrate them exactly as they should be and I think they are infact more enjoyable because there doesnt seem to be the stress aassociated with the day especially christmas it leaves the inlaws to having a good christmas with their family with out the guilt of being with us. We also only celebrate them once. We learnt that lesson with B1 birthday we celebrated it twice and it was a nightmare. I will admitt that occassionally we get upset by husband missing school races, carnivals and he has missed some milestones but we try to catch up with video and making a big deal of the whole performance by having it relived to him in detail. We belive its the everyday that counts.
The main downside is I get lonely so I try to keep super busy. He is my best friend and I miss him at night mostly thats when Im most lonely so I have started filling my time with things like this blog and catching up on bookwork. I miss his physical support as I dont have any family here of my own and dont know anyone else really in my situation. However with regular phone calls, and skype that void is getting smaller. I have the boys in a good routine, good diet (essential) and good discipline structure that I have created to live this way and when husband is home he just slots right in. So there is little stress.
However having said that I dont want to live this way for ever I have been doing it 12 years 6 years on my own which was great ( I achieved all my careea goals because I had lots of me time) and 6 years so far with babies. I have a date on my wall 16.01.2016 where I want to review where we are and how we are travelling. I have a dream of travelling the world with my boys. I want to be the one that shows them it.
So is it hard being a fifo wife yes and no. Its as hard or as easy as you make it. Like life really FIFO just makes it just a little trickier.
xx Deb
