The Every Day

the fifo wife {the fifo life : do you miss him}

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I have a friend whose partner has just started dido (drive in drive out) and she is terrified that its not going to work. That she will miss him and that they will have two separate lives that will eventually spilt them. This was my advice to her.

People ask me all the time do you miss him? Oh gosh yes aaand NO. Now I know that this is going to sound horrible. I love my husband. He is perfect.He is funny, supportive, I LOVE everything about him, he seriously my best friend but some days I don’t miss him. I don’t mourn him and if I’m honest I don’t miss him until the going gets tough, sounds harsh but thats me.

When I was just me. Before I had my beautiful babies. He worked fifo and before that he was in the navy. We have always done this. I didn’t miss him too much then either if at all. I did however know he was the one and that this was how our life would be. I was young and ambitious. When he was away I concentrated on what was important to me, I knew eventually I would play second fiddle somewhere in this relationship along the way. Its how it is for women ultimately like it or not we eventually have to put ourselves last for a period of time. So I study and worked and I gave that 100% of my time. I achieved everything I wanted because he wasn’t there to distract meonly encourage me beyond belief. I fulfilled everything I wanted careera wise so when  when the time came to have babies I was satisfied. While he was away I got to hang out with my friends and when he came home I was his all his. He caught up with his friends and family but ultimately he wanted to be with me.

We did and didn’t have two separate lives its inevitable but that can happen in civilian life too people are different at work I know that I am but because we spoke everyday on the phone and wrote letters; email wasn’t big then, the divied wasnt so big. We where honest and committed, we still are. That’s all you have to be, that and communication thats if you want it to work. Besides I think its healthy to have a life of your own. Being a little selfish can be a good thing.

So how is it now? Pretty much the same its just that my job is different. I’m a mum and I have taken on that as seriously as I took my job. I run my household as a business and I consider my husband not only as my best friend, lover but also as my business partner. Strange but thats how it works for us.

I know that we work; even though I dont miss him because I get those butterflies still the night before he gets home and when he walks in the room unexpected I still get that bolt of lightening if perhaps your not excited to see each other then well this relationship may or he may not be for you. FIFO or not.

If Im honest we dont have much in commen he has so much energy it drives me nuts, he loves movies, loves a bit of drama, he loves to jibber jabbe,r Im the complete opposite so we have very little with the exception of our morals and the fact that I LOVE him like a crazy woman. So when he would and even now when he goes back to work its sometimes a sigh of relief and I can be sure some months its like that for him.

Then he comes back and we would we do always have something to talk about.

xxD

The Every Day

the fifo wife {christmas count down begins}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

48 days. That’s it my friends 48 days left before Christmas. Are you ready. Me I know that I’m not. Christmas for us falls early. Last week of November I think I haven’t decided the date. I think we may do a thanks giving thing this year, I know that its an American tradition but its nice don’t you think?

For our Christmas we have Christmas breakfast with our friends on our veranda then lunch with relatives. Then home, to relax and enjoy the gifts and more importantly each other. We keep it low key and its getting more simpler and relaxed every year as we; husband and I, learn to say NO and do whats best for our family.

So are you organised? Do you have a plan or a planner? Have you started your shop? Or do you leave it till the very last minute? either way I think that craziness is another nice part of christmas.

xxD

The Every Day

The fifo wife {sunday ponderings: man scaping}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

Okay so yesterday I had to head on over to one of the rental properties that we own and picked up the left overs that the tenant had left behind. They had left behind two toiletries bags, a his and her set. The last tenants where a lovely young mum and dad (by young I mean she barely 20 years old stay at home mum and he a 28ish mine worker).

What I found funny and curious was the fact in her bag was bottles and bottles of anti wrinkle, hand cream, shampoos, masks, firming jells all opened and all used. His bag was full of shampoos, masks, scrubs, sunsceen’s and moisturise’s. The only one open, the shampoo. They obviously were gift’s. Expensive but not one was opened. So it got me thinking ? Whats the deal with manscaping (oh I hate that word MANSCAPING it brings such uneasy images to mind) and men taking care of themselves? Why are some okay with it. Why do some men see it as ‘unmanly’ and ultimately too feminine? Which is so completly untrue fact is fella’s a little couldn’t hurt no one wants to date a caveman and I do know a few..yes fella’s you know who you are.

Truth is a little bit of grooming is good. Me? I like it to a point I like a manly man, rough hands, hairy chest (not the back I got to draw the line somewhere), dirt under the nails I love seeing the hints that he has been working hard but I also like one that takes care of himself, especially when I know its meant for me. Well mostly for me and a little for him. That’s okay, thats sexy.  If too much scaping is done for the him (and by too much I mean highlights and customised teeth whitening plates) and the general public run ladies it wont be long before your traded in.

I like.. no.. I love how my husband trims and waxes (he waxes his arms – he is a chef and hates seeing chef with food in the hairs on their arms..lol..a little gross now I think of it), he works out, watches what he eats, will always check himself in the mirror before he leaves the house (the only reflective surface a man should look in )and he smells good all the time, he uses better shampoo and conditioner than I do (a sore point), and moisturises. I know that he cop’s a bit of flack at work by his less ‘manscaped’ collegues, so Im glad that he hasnt sucumbed to peer pressure and let himself go.

I have brought him scrubs and masks as last minute gifts but I always find them hidden politely in the back of the bathroom cabinet and secretly I’m so glad.I don’t want to have a lover that look like a prepubescent boy (can I say that..its true) or who has a better pedicure and manicure than I do.

So men a little bit of grooming is good for me and for you..wink wink nudge nudge..xxD

 

 

The Every Day

the fifo wife {hanging art something a little different}

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Handsom and I have art EVERYWHERE so much so its stacked against the walls rather than on the walls. Some needs reframing others well we just cant work out where to place. We have brought most of our art work from op shops and second hand stores we only ever but what we love and sometimes the art work has turned out to be just a little bit valueable (we are talking hundreds not thousands). We buy on the notion that if we love it it will eventually find a place. So hows this for a hanging idea, coat hangers, simple and looks great, just use those removeable hooks and tada. This would be great idea for renters I think. Well my friends its the dreaded weekend…I hope that you have a great one xxD

The Every Day

a fifo wife {fifo life: kids, fifo and seperation aniexty}

Posted on by debbie / 0 Comment

Kids and fifo are probably the second hardest part of this fifo lifestyle. Seperation aniexty. If your kids are born into I think its a breeze they, like my kids know no different, its routine for them. Yet there was a short period when all my kids hit two years old they started to ask where daddy was when he wasn’t home and my four year old has just gone through a stage of telling me he misses daddy. He isn’t crying desperately for him just says in passing as we going to bed. So me being me sat down and researched a little preparation for what may be and this is what I came up with and the solution for what works for us.

Everything I read talked about stable routines, being honest with the kids, lots of kisses and cuddles and being patient. They (experts we shall call them) say not to spoil them or break the rules. This to me is just commonsense but as my husband continually tells me commonsense wont stand up in a court of law. They also suggest that you; the stay at home parent, need routine, lots of visiting friends and taking care of yourself, all of which I agree with. They also suggest that depression, anxiety and mild depression is normal for a short period until the adjustment and routine has been made what they consider a short period I don’t know but if your worried I would have my kids and husband seeing someone fast.

For us we talk about what daddy and us will do when he gets home, make them and me excited for when daddy is home and this usually quashes the whole I miss daddy routine until the next night. Each kid I think will handle it different. My six year old knows and accepts he asked a few times when he was two years old but nothing since he gets on with his days and looks forward to the date when daddy does get home, my four year old say’s he misses daddy most nights and my two year old is just starting to ask where daddy is. So as I have discovered it is routine; the fifo life seem to be all about routine and patience. Not bad virtues to have in ones life I suppose.

Yet having said that drop off is a killer for me and husband. We question ourselves every time we do the drop off that we are doing the right thing by them and us. We have tried to avoid the whole drop of scenario by having someone else take him but if the kids don’t take daddy to the airport for work they are confused as to where he has gone, so we make it a priority to all go together, its part of the routine we have created. The drop off is probably the most heart breaking part as we generally drop daddy at the drop off point and carry on. Recently though my four year old will hang out the window telling daddy how much he loves him until daddy has disappeared from view. Its horrible but in a spilt second he is all good laughing and chuckling at mummy who is balling like a school girl as we make the long drive home.

xxD