the fifo wife

My husband called me last night at 1130pm in a bit of a fluff. We discussed what was on his mind. It was something I had written in a email and he had read it over and over again. Twisting and turning the words as you do when all you have too do is work, watch movies and think. Why I dont learn my lesson and quite with the email and use the phone I dont know. Well I do know its because the email is then and now when I need it. The phone I have to wait for him to call.

Do you need me to come home he said? No, why I asked. Your email (sent and written SEVEN days ago) you sound like your angry with me that ‘we’ are in trouble. Ummm no not at all if anything I was apologiesing for the bad mood I was in when you called? How he got that from my email Im not sure but instead of ranting and raving we went through everything again. Yep I was angry not at you but the situation I was in and I was behaving like a selfish pittying git making life difficult for myself and now Im good I said. A bit bi polar of me but I built a bridge I sucked it up and here we are back to the swing of things. It happens every now and then. Its allowed to happen. Im okay that it happened. We are good. Yes I will tell you when we are not good and no Im not the slightest bit angry with you. Nor was I really ever. No there is no one else. No I have never cheated on you and yes I will tell you if I have the slighest inclination too. We are good. All good. I love you more than the day I married you.

Are you sure he said. Im not the brightest ball in the bunch he said. I hate it when he says that. I hate it becasue his lack of confidence in himself is courtsey of his mother and its not required. He wouldnt have done what he has done if he wasnt bright. I wouldnt have dated him let alone married him if that was so.

This conversation will pop every six months or so. Its more likely to occur when someone elses marriage is crumbling before there eyes and they just cant work out why or when a wife has asked for a divorce when there husband is 600 kilometers out to sea because she is to gutless or afraid Im never sure which to do it when he is home. It can be frustrating but patience is all thats required he after all is stuck out there. It doesnt help though that we share different views on sex and whats deemed as a acceptable. It plays on his mind a little and I get that but when your married I think you play by what your partner deems as acceptable. I dont think he fully understands how okay Iam with this lifestyle even after 13 years. I really do believe you want to make good money you got to go work for it. Its as simple as that. You suffer the ups and downs to get that said amount of money it really is that simple.

So do you need me to come home he asked again. I was getting a little frustrated it was 1236am at this point we then went through this fifo gig and how its ‘effecting’ me. I appreciate the concern but Im all good. We are all good. I couldnt have said that two years ago when every one should have been asking but now Im good.  We are good. I didnt relaise there was a problem with us. With me maybe but not us. I know now when I need to get my crap together. I know when to ask for help and now is not that time. I like the concern he now has. Im not sure many husbands do that. I appreciate that. I really, really do but at 1236am?

Look baby I said I want you to come home but I dont need you to come home..understand? I want you home but I dont need you to be here. Not right now. Right now we are good. Perhaps harsh but true. Yep understand he said. Im not sure how he feels about that or if he really does get it. Im hoping so. Im hoping that he is kind of proud at that fact. Im hoping.

xxDeb

I’m off to the ‘spa therapist’ that’s the correct term these days for what I use to call the beautician..I feel so old right now.

I’m off to get my eye brows done by a ‘professional’ its the only thing I didn’t let go of when I moved to the country and had kids. I may not have time to wash my hair every night or shave my legs when they really need to be done…after all a pony tail and pair of jeans can hide that dilemma but I always get my brows and eyelashes done every six weeks waxed and tinted.

I tried to do them myself when I first arrived here and after I had the kids. I followed advice from various websites, magazines etc but it was a disaster. I was either lopsided, looked like a raccoon or had developed the dreaded ocd of ‘brow shaping’. Now I leave it to the ‘professionals’ its easier…a little pricey but hey its my only real indulgence.

I’m blessed with what I deem damn good eyelashes and ala eyebrows. Think Liz Taylor and Sophia Loren. Its the only thing I can deem damn good about of this little body of mine and so I’m gonna flaunt it…lol.

I feel ‘pretty’ with them done. Its one of my best attributes.

Whats yours best attribute? Whats your little indulgence?

xxD

Just loving these vinyl wall stickers from Urban Walls..find them here.. Lots of designs to choose from but these are some of my favourites..

xxD

Since yesterday. I’m back. My head is clear and I have a little more passion for this FIFO life of mine. Give me something and I can do it. I’m on my way. I feel almost bipolar…lol…(without making fun of the bipolar) the change is that dramatic. I am worried by the complete turn around in my head. Yesterday morning I was anxious, uptight, annoyed and overwhelmed. Today nothing. Should I be worried? Its a little disconcerting but last week was a crap week it really was and if I’m honest the week before that and the week before that. Having your husband and mother home doesn’t always make it easier just busier more chaotic.

Last week was TWO sick kids…damn day care bugs, three runs to the city, specialist appointments for B3, one ahem run in with my adorable mother, then negotiating with said mother and added guilt of run in, one flooded shop, add to that several days of feeling ripped off, ticked off and just a little bit selfish. Four days of kids inside because the rain was to heavy and to cold to go outside and play. Combined with several days of being behind on the washing, ironing, mopping and general housework because of said TWO sick kids. I was on a downhill somewhat self inflicted roll going fast without a breath.

Yet isn’t it funny how just when you don’t think you can keep your head above water any longer a saving grace arrives and allows you to take another breath. Mine was my neighbour and her daughter. They took my boys and played all day. It gave me time to catch my breath and whilst I didn’t lounge around all day like a lady of leisure I got the job(s) done. I had a day without being at someones beck and call and it was good.  No it was great. It was what I needed to give me a detour from what was waiting for me down the road and around the corner.

I promise though (well I will try)  its the last time I complain..someone told me its not the right thing to do its not elegant its not lady like..who wants to read my issues…but that’s me. This is my FIFO life, its real and it happens I dont believe I’m any sort of princess. I do believe I do one hell of a job ‘usually’ however your ‘advice’ is dually noted and I will reign it in. Lets pretend everything is all right…just for people like you. Just so you know I write this little blog of mine because I thought it would be helpful for others in my situation. If you aren’t a fan of my reading about my demise don’t read it.

However for the lovely emails and comments that where left I thank you. You don’t know how much they made my morning reading them. For you I send you all my love.

So have a lovely Monday my friends,

xx Deb