the fifo wife

I had a really lovely comment from Lilly a lovely girl due to give birth in just 10 weeks and it got me thinking of how I was when I first went into this FIFO lifestyle with a baby.

When B1 was born he required surgery at eight days old his outsides where on his outside whilst it sounds dramatic nothing to worry about just a matter of restuffing the insides back in. FIFO husband left me to start a new position with a new company when he B1 was just four days old. We never contemplated saying no I will be honest it was a massive oppurtunity to join this company. Something we had been trying for for two years. The timing was not ideal but he (FIFO husband) had been there for what I deemed the worst ( I was terrified of the labour) and he left not to be home for another SIX weeks. I should add the doctors reassured me this was almost routine as routine as the heel prick something I found more traumatic than the surgery. Don’t think us completely heartless.

It was then bam day three as we said our good byes at the hospital that I knew I had to either sink or swim with this whole FIFO gig. Doing it as a single girl no worries no problems doing it with a baby I was scared reckless. Especially as I knew nothing about babies and my mother had said to me before the birth don’t expect me to help you…yes she said that to which I replied what are you doing here then? She had flown down to monitor me I guess what else would she me doing here if not to help. It was I think to help to give me a determination quote it wasn’t. You don’t say that to a hormonal pregnant women but I love her for it any way. She left me day 10.

So in knowing that I was truly on my own with exception of some very supportive phone calls from my husband. I literally sat down and worked out a plan in my head. I brought Kaz Cookes up the duff and toddler taming the only book I brought and bothered reading. I highly recommend them if you are a common sense girl. The gist I got was this ROUTINE and don’t sweat the small stuff in terms of what your house looked like. My fear turned to determination. I knew I could do this.

My routine really was my saving grace. It still is. Trust me it will save you later down the track. Kids need routine and boundaries. It was loose for the first six weeks but it was a routine non the less, I operated my whole routine around feeds. It helped develop a better sleeping and eating pattern for B1 and for me to a point. I’m one of those wretched souls that cant sleep during the day but I learnt to meditate and that helped. Once six weeks was up my routine was stricter I introduced floor time, outside walks all that sort of thing again all around feeds. We read for half an hour every night and it was the one part of the day I really enjoyed. Then I insured he was fed bathed and into bed by seven.

When FIFO husband came home he just slotted in and I guess it worked out because as I found with B2 and B3 for the first six weeks baby just wants mummy and that’s all there is to it in my opinion. I should mention that I breast fed like a jersey cow which is most probably why but it really was just eat, sleep and well pooh. My FIFO husband looking back says it was right for us. I enjoyed that first six weeks with B1 I did get sleep deprived, the house got a little ‘untidy’ the only rooms I made sure where spotless was the toilet and bathroom. The kitchen well the dishes had to be clean and the lounge well I didn’t care as long as the floor was done but I was doing it and I was doing it well. I knew I was doing it well because my baby was content and I was happy and healthy. He (B1) rarely cried and he was happy.

The one thing I did do for FIFO husband which I think helped him and I and its something we have done ever since. one picture and one moment for each child is sent each day via email. We have a picture for everyday of my boys life. How lucky are we?

Was it hard yep? Did I like it? Not always. Yet I wouldn’t change a thing. Not a single thing.

I will keep you posted about Lily’s baby..I’m sure she will do fabulous after all we are a special bunch us FIFO wives.

But I don’t need to tell you that do I?

xX Deb

Today my gorgeous B2 and I went on a date. A morning tea date just him and me. We went shopping for my little vintage shop traipsing all around town looking here and there. Then we went to a cafe for morning tea. Going to a cafe is one of his most favourite things to do in the world. It was fantastic and I loved it. Its ages since in fact it’s probably years since I spent one on one time with my beautiful blue eyed B2. I’m sorry that it’s been so long.

My B2 is four almost five and like all kids I guess is so different to his siblings. He was born an old soul. He seems older than his four years and speaks with the most beautiful tone and accent. He is inquisitive, polite, well mannered, and quick witted, clever, confident, thoughtful and kind. He is just the most loveable and beautiful boy. He holds my hand when we walk and he loves to pick me flowers. Doesn’t matter what kind of flowers from weeds to roses he picks them and carries them where ever he is to me.

He started kindy this year B1 didn’t do kindy he didn’t want to I didn’t want him too but B2 he is different. I can’t give B2 what he needs in terms of mental stimulation however I miss him being at home but he needs kindy he is just too clever. Naturally he takes after me not only in looks but his nature…lol.

B2 recently told me that the Easter bunny didn’t exist. I was very disappointed. I was sure that someone had told him. I was disappointed that fairytale of belief had ended so quickly. So after pressing him for half a morning on who had told him such ‘nonsense of course the Easter bunny exist’. He said to me no one told me mum. My thinking brain just worked it out. My brain told me. Oh I said slightly saddened that he indeed had worked it out on his own. He had said this to me before about Santa Claus. Are you sure? Yes mum. Well the Easter bunny does exist for those that choose to believe I said. If you don’t believe that’s okay but that’s something we must keep to ourselves. It’s like the secret of Santa Claus isn’t it mum? See just to clever.

He like his brothers and his father make me so incredibly happy. Just as I make him I hope. He talks with his eyes, much like me, they give everything away. So in saying that I know that we had a good day today and I can’t wait to do it again. I want to try and make it every week. A couple of hours for each boy each week, that’s do able, it’s important I think.

So do you manage a date day with your babies? What do you do? Where do you go? I would love to know.

Have a great Friday night whatever you are doing,

xx Deb

Its 2am in the morning. I have been awake since 1245am which is when B3 decided he just wasn’t tired anymore. Now he is tired and well me I’m here writing this thinking of all the ‘things’ I would like to do before I’m 36. I think my list is looking something like this:

Things to do before 36.

1.  Take my boys to the snow.

2. Buy a new pair of ballet flats.

3. Start to work with some clay.

4. Screen print my own material.

5. Make my own lemon-cello

6. Bake more.

7. Learn how to play chess.

8. Learn how to listen to my inner me more. Trust myself and my decisions.

9. Have a fancy dress party for FIFO husband.

10.Go back to New Zealand and visit the family.

11.Get to know my father better.

12.Be a better daughter.

13. Be financially self sufficient in my own right.

14. Tidy my study and keep it that way.

15.Read Alice in wonderland, Vanity Fair, great expectations they have been on my bed side table for months.

16.Manage my temper better.

17.Line the inside of my cupboard with the silk I brought back from Thailand six years ago.

18.Learn to meditate.

19. Go to yoga…I have never been.

20.Ride my bike more…ride my bike.

21.Swim three times a week.

22.Have a mindful home…

23.Dress like I care everyday.

24.Go to my sons school and volunteer as a reading mum.

25.Start to write a memories book to pass on to each of my boys including their favourite recipes..

26.Routinely clean my car every Sunday.

27.Plant more flowers.

28.Email my husband more.

29.Turn my husbands love letters into a book.

30.Cuddle more.

31. Kiss more.

32.Be thankful more.

33.Sing more.

34.Laugh more.

35.Sleep more.

Do you have a list? List’s are good. Good for me anyway. I can tick things off see Im making progress.

Its 3.04am…I have to go to bed. But I think I will just get school lunches, do the washing before that..then maybe I can sleep in.

xx Deb

 

 

We went to our favourire cafe for brunch. Yum. My mother told me I looked like I was in mourning..lol. I tried to tell her simplicty is the key. Still she told me I looked like I was in mourning. I think I did all right.

xx Deb