Don’t you have someones else that can look after the kids? Do you know how many times I have heard that this week. Doctors, Nurses, Council members, even mechanics. It seemed to be the catch phrase of the week. The look of dread on peoples faces as I entered their place of business with my rambunctious three boys was well almost catch worthy. Candid camera anyone? So the rehearsed phrase of ‘no my husband works away’ automatically spills from my lips often before they have asked.
And no I don’t have someone else to look after my kids when my husband is away. I have no family here. My choice. As its is my family flies interstate so I can attend my beloved farmers market every two months but what I do have is a wonderful neighbour who is now my family but I don’t want to take advantage of her all the time. I know when I have started using up credit (in my mind) because I will sneak up her stairs, my voice will drop like a naughty child confessing to taking the last cupcake without asking and I don’t really want to ask but having to is my often my only option. So when I know I have almost exceeded my credit for the month often the kids will be dragged to my appointments, each others appointments and events. Its then out of my carpet bag comes their travel toys and snacks. Prior to entering the doors to that poor unfortunate business they will get the spiel in the car about their behaviour and in we go. Often they the business owner will roll their eyes but I don’t care anymore. They are good kids. Usually I can count on them to be behaved, often I’m not asking them for more than twenty minutes of ‘being good’ time. They are always rewarded somehow and they know that this FIFO life takes a little compromise by everyone.
My B2 misses an hour of kindy every Tuesday so his baby brother can get to his swimming lesson. Why cant I go to kindy early he will always ask? Because kindy wont let you go early bubba (ten minutes I must add) and bubba I will continue the thought of relying on someone every week because of the choice of lifestyle we have made bubba eats me up so in an effort to keep everyone happy we all have to compromise a little. This is your compromise. My compromise is I cant go and get a massage and pedicure every week anymore (ahem not true..non of that has ever happened..but its effective and lets not give them a complex by telling them I cant go any where any more because I’m at their beck and call) your brothers compromise is that he has missed invitations because I couldn’t juggle work, parties and sitters. No one misses out well not by much.
Now I have considered hiring a sitter. Paying someone to help me out but to be honest I struggle with that idea. The idea of a stranger who potentially through me paying them could become a faithful friend? Someone I could rely on? I have run interview questions through my head, possible candidates but come down to it finding a trust worthy sitter is just another thing to do.
So in the mean time I will take my kids everywhere. I will continue to repeat the phrase ‘my husband works away’ when the receptionist or business owner gives me that look that says, ‘why would you bring your kids here. Why. Why would you do this to me’ . Truth is I want to and its getting easier as they get older. So much easier.
This FIFO gig all takes compromise from everyone but that’s a good thing.
xx Deb
