the fifo wife

It’s the end of our month. Like the end of any working week (month) the minutes are slow. Like Friday waiting for the sweet joy of Saturday’s. The day is looking long and I’m exhausted. I went to bed had six hours of uninterrupted sleep but somewhere along the way batteries they didn’t recharge. It’s like body has said enough’s enough come on…its Friday already..wheres our after work drinks..

It’s been a massive and fantastic month but today I’m dragging my feet. Its a school day; obviously, and seriously I would rather keep my child home from school today than make his lunch. You know that feeling? Everything is an effort. Everything. However on the upside my handsome husband may or may not be home tonight and unusually I haven’t been checking his frequent flyer account because well that would take too much effort to remember his account number and pin. And despite having it written down somewhere it would require some effort to get that book that it’s written down in.

Yet as I write this the idea and realisation that he will be home in a few short long hours I’m getting that butterfly feeling. Oooh now thoughts of what I may wear are creeping into my head. A smile to my dial as think of him. All my favourite men will be in the house at once even if for a few short days (my dad leaves Thursday). Yes the excitement as started..

Wait.

The mother in-law has just called. She is staying the night. What did I say about long days..I could have sworn the solstice only happened twice a year and surly it’s not 22 September already?

Ahh..where are those well earned Friday night drinks…oh how I do miss those.

Tell me my lovelies does your body know when its your Friday?

I hope that you are having a fantastic Monday,

xx Deb

PS Dress is from Anthropologie..no I don’t have it but its on my wish list..however it will remain on the wish list given the ridiculous cost of shipping..Anthropologie should you happen to stumble on this..it may or not be the reason it sold out..I would like to think it was due to this post so size 10 please. Thank you.

PS The boy did go to school with a jam sandwhich thrown in his lunch box..

 

 

 

 

Jessie , mother of three kids aged 8 years, 6 years and 4 years living in Perth. Jessie work  part-time two days a week and my hubby is on a 26 days on/9 days off roster.

What’s your work schedule? Do you work outside the home?

I work two days a week in the city.  My hours mean that on these two days, I am dropping the older two kids at before/after school  care  just after opening at 7 am, dropping my youngest at daycare  around 7.20 and then catching the train into the city  to work. The reverse is done at 5pm with collection of the two schoolies just before 6pm closing. Hectic but doable !

 How do you handle childcare? If you need it. Do you use childcare or family? Do you have support?

My eldest two are in before and after school care and my youngest in daycare on my work days. I do not really have family support (other than in a crisis!) but regularly use a babysitter to be able to do one on ones with my eldest two (rotating) as well as 2-3 hours every second weekend for me (for time out !)

Was there a reason you started FIFO? I.e. deposit for a house, lifestyle. Did you talk about it before starting? Was there a time limit? Has that happened?

The amazing opportunity came and couldn’t be passed up. The cost of living in Perth is high and we needed to financially secure our families future.  Never talked about it before starting.  We did have a time limit and were quite adamant that we were going to stick to it, however the financial security it has offered coupled with the quality family time when hubby is home has somewhat quashed the likelihood of us sticking to our original time limit. In saying that, hubby and I have agreed that if issues were arising to the extent of our family unit suffering, we will pull the pin in an instant and walk away, something ventured, much gained.

What do you like best about FIFO?

The financial security. That will sound like such a materialistic statement but having been poorer (both of us working part-time), money gives you options and different stresses.  It has been a big communication /commitment curve for us as a couple, but we go on more dates now than we did when hubby was home full-time.

What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?

Definitely the roster , it is C*R*A*P*P*Y*.

Magic wand : a robot to stay with 3 kids in a car while I dash into the shops.  You can get a bit over *always*bringing*a*posse*with*you*

How do you and your husband fit marriage into the balance? Do you have any time for yourself?

Dates when he is back (usually at least two .) We talk every day.

My work days are time to myself in a way – wow , a lunch break with *no-one* in tow. Go to the gym three times a week (use the gym crèche) , and time out every second weekend for 2 or 3 hours.

Do you get lonely? How do you handle it?

Yup, go to bed with a good book or 50!!! ha, ha!  Watch a DVD while folding washing. Keep in contact with a group of fantastic  girlfriends who are good listeners/good for a laugh.

 Do the kid’s miss dad? How do you handle it?

They’re amazingly resilient, yes, they miss him and sometimes there is tears (usually toward the end of the swing) but generally they accept that this is what his work involves and when he is home he is fully immersed in their lives (school drops, school reading roster, one on ones. Etc. ) They speak to him every day. We often talk about how everyone is feeling about things and I share with them when I’m feeling lonely and missing him.

 Do you ever wonder how other women manage the juggle? Have you talked to other women about it?

I’ve talked to a few FIFO mothers at my kids school , a girlfriend who’s hubby has done it for years as well as read  a lot about how other women handle it. It was very helpful in the beginning gathering all the information and options  and now as time has gone on, you get into a routine of what works for you, its streamlined for our particular family unit.

What advice would you give to other mums about how to balance FIFO life?

Always remember hubby and you are a *TEAM* and the focus should be on your *family* goal, different things work for different people and it is really important to nurture yourself. –  we are integral to this working, or not.

Interview as told by Jessie..

In case you missed it here’s is another real life FIFO mum.. Alycia..who works a 12 week roster..now that takes a little patience..

There’s a yeti in my shed by Daniel Postgate…I love this book. We don’t have it I must admit but its at my boys doctors surgery. My B2 and I who have frequented the surgery these past few weeks hunt for it as soon as we are seated hurrying to get through at least one reading. It rhythms and its funny. The story is based on a yeti hiding in the potting shed..he stays for lunch..its great. I’m repeating the story in my head as we speak. I’m yet to get myself a copy but if you come across one grab it. You’ll and the kids will love it.

xx Deb

One of my lovely suppliers had just a few of these left in stock in limited sizes..I grab what I could because I just love them…in fact I sold out of most sizes in the shop shop and now have just two sizes left 2 and 4 for the online store but they are yummy. If I had a girl yes she would have one of these.

On special $26.95 (RRP $39.80) because I only have a two sizes left.

Available here.

www.bighousehomewares.com.au

Flat rate shipping $10.50.

xx Deb

 

 

FIFO mum Alycia here is her story

Alycia is from Tasmania is mum to a gorgeous 28 month old boy and currently pregnant with her number two and has been a stay at home mum  since their son came along.

What’s your work schedule? Do you work outside the home? How do you handle childcare? If you need it.  Do you use childcare or family? Do you have any support?

Our son isn’t in child care, but we are very lucky to have my parents, who are a fantastic help, 10 minutes away from us. My mum babysits for an hour every week so I can do the groceries in peace. She also helps out if I have any appointments that I need to go to alone.

 Was there a reason you started FIFO? i.e. deposit for a house, lifestyle. Did you talk about it before starting? Was there a time limit? Has that happened?

We never really discussed the FIFO lifestyle. My husband decided to go back to college and study for a certificate in Marine Engineering which led to his current position (12 weeks on, 12 weeks off). It’s never been about the money, more about him having a career that he enjoys. We haven’t set a time limit on how long we will live this lifestyle. We both have agreed that when either of us (or our children) has had enough, we will re-evaluate. 

 What do you like best about FIFO?

The best thing about the FIFO lifestyle for us would have to be having six months of the year together. We are lucky that we have the option for doing whatever we want to do when hubby is home because he gets such a huge lump of time at home. I also appreciate the lifestyle because it means I can be a stay at home mums without the financial stress a lot of our friends have. 

 What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?

The hilariously bad part of the lifestyle…trying to conceive a baby!! Months would pass by with nothing happening as hubby was away. And then to make things worse, he’d usually get home the day or two after I ovulated. So another cycle missed! Drove me batty! 

I  also find family/special events frustrating at times as I often feel like a single mum with an invisible husband as he always seems to miss the important events. Or the sympathy from people when I explain to them what my husband does for a living. If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me “I don’t know how you do it”, let’s just say, hubby wouldn’t need to work anymore!!

How do you and your husband fit marriage into the balance? Do you have any time for yourself?

Our marriage seems to work better with a FIFO lifestyle. We are both strong, independent people. So time away from each other gives us time to regroup and appreciate each other when we are together. Because hubby gets three months off at a time, we make sure we share out “me time” between each other and taking care of our son. 

Do you get lonely? How do you handle it?

Loneliness creeps in occasionally; I chuck a huge tantrum at hubby, have a big cry or run home to my mother’s for some sympathy. It doesn’t usually last long as I don’t like to let it overwhelm me.

Do the kid’s miss dad? How do you handle it?

This is the first time that our son hasn’t forgotten about his daddy. Usually he misses him for the first few days, but would then stop talking about him. This time, we are seven weeks in to our swing and he still constantly talks about his daddy. How do I handle it? I don’t. I smile and talk to our son about his daddy, but my heart breaks inside every time he asks for him. This was always going to be the most challenging part of the lifestyle.

Do you ever wonder how other women manage the juggle? Have you talked to other women about it?

I would love to talk to other women in the same situation to discuss the nitty gritty parts of the lifestyle. But unfortunately I don’t know any other women in the same position. 

 What advice would you give to other mums about how to balance FIFO life?

Advice for other mums? Only do it if you are 110% sure you can live the lifestyle. The money is fantastic and very enticing, but the reality of the day to day FIFO life is far from glamorous. Imagine playing the role of mum and dad 24/7 for weeks maybe months on end. Not to mention making sure the bills get paid, the kids get fed and washed, the house doesn’t fall apart, chief bug catcher, car owner, operator and servicer and so on and so forth. Very big shoes to fill.

As written and told by Miss A. Thank you,

xx Deb