Sarah & Brett. Perth,WA. Both 23 years of age. Together for almost a (long, short, happy, sad, busy, eventful, crazy, jam-packed) year. Both living at home (Or each others when he is home). Proud parents of Sophie the 3 month old Bichoodle. 10 and 2 roster. Weeks that is! FIFO girlfriend from that very moment we met.
Was there a reason you started FIFO? i.e. Deposit for a house? Trip overseas? Or was he already working FIFO? How did you feel about that? Did it affect your decision about continuing the relationship? Why?
Brett was already a FIFO worker when we met. So I’ve never known any different.
We’d only been on one date and known each other a week before he flew away again.
I’ll admit that when he first told me his roster was 10 and 2 I was shocked! Two and a half months or 70 days! However you want to look at it – it was a longggg time! But there was something about this boy. He was a keeper and although I didn’t think I was the type of girl to wait around. I just knew this one was worth it. FIFO was already a part of Brett before we met. As he’s completing a cadetship to gain his Captains ticket this roster isn’t forever. Thank god! Once he’s finished his rosters will likely switch to 4/4 or 5/5 (weeks). Which will be much easier on both of us. He loves his job and I would never take that away from him or make him choose. It’s who he is. However do I wish for it to last forever? No!
What do you like best about FIFO?
- It’s easier to get up in the morning when he’s gone! I work full-time so when he is home I hate that he gets to stay snuggled up in bed with the puppy while I have to haul ass to work!
- Quality girl time! Spending more time with my girlfriends!
- Being bothered to exercise and eat healthy! We eat out/go out a lot when he is home so my waist line thanks me when he goes back to work!
- Being able to miss him. Every time he goes away I remember just how in love I am with him.
- Meeting me at work and taking me out for lunch. It seems silly, but it makes my day.
- The week leading up to him coming home. The last sleep. The day he gets home. The excitement, the butterflies, not being able to wipe the smile off my face. The moment I first spot him. That big hug. The first kiss. That is a feeling I could never get sick of.
What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about FIFO? What would change if you had a magic wand?
- Sleeping alone. I hate it.
- Not having my person there. Having a bad day or getting sick and not being able to come home to a hug.
- When he’s out of phone range and we can’t speak for a few days.
- Crappy reception! One of my biggest frustrations! Not being able to finish my sentence for the third time without it cutting out!
- Missing events. Birthdays, weddings, Valentines Day, anniversaries, Christmas, New Years etc.
- The unreliability of his roster. We can never really plan ahead. Although he is meant to be doing 10 and 2. It’s all over the place and we are never really sure when he is coming and going.
- What I probably find the most difficult though… Is when I’m out and about and I see another couple holding hands, or kissing or on a date. That’s when I feel sometimes like it’s not fair and that I’m missing out.
Does your partner have trouble with you still going out and about how do you handle moments of insecurity (if any)
Brett trusts me so it’s not an issue. I think more than anything he probably gets a little jealous sometimes because he wishes he could be out having a drink or catching up with mates.
Do you get lonely? How do you handle that?
Of course! Sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all. Other times it does. Weekends are the hardest because that’s generally when I notice he’s gone! During the week I’m too busy or tired to have time to be lonely! I generally try and look on the bright side and try to think of the benefits long term if I feel down. However if we’re both missing each other then that’s another story! I’m miserable, he wants to come home. We both miss each other and then the negative thoughts start to creep in with is this really worth it? But that generally only lasts a day and by the next day you’re over it! Deciding to get Sophie has also helped with that. She keeps me so busy and she’s such a little snuggler that she fills that void.
Do you have trouble balancing his time with you and his mates? How do you manage it? Do you think you use the time he is away to better yourself? Do study or are you career orientated?
For us this has never really been a problem. Nearly all of his mates are also FIFO or tradies. So they tend to catch up a lot during the day. The only problem that can then result from this is that I get the drunken bf in the evening! When he is away I definitely have more time to focus on myself. Like I said I find more time to exercise, or see friends more, I arrive early to work or don’t mind staying back.
Do you know any other FIFO ladies your age? Do you think it would help knowing others?
I have two other friends that are FIFO girlfriends. I think it does help to have someone to talk to that can relate! It’s nice to be able to vent to someone that gets your situation!
What advice would you give to other women about FIFO life?
Keep yourself busy! Communication! Skyping, texting, phone calls, emails, picture messages! Talk talk talk. About anything and everything! And enjoy missing him (it means the sparks still there)!
Told by the lovely Sarah,
Thank you,
xx Deb
