My kids do chores, jobs they have responsibilities. They have done since they were three years old respectively. They don’t have set jobs they just do as we ask or if they see something that needs to be done they do it. Seeing their laundry folded on the table signals to them it needs to be put away, the rubbish bin is full they empty it other jobs they do that we ask them to do is hanging their own laundry or putting it in the dryer which ever it needs to be. Some may consider that three years old is to young but for me it was done out of necessity I needed help and they live here.
We don’t pay pocket money unless the job is above and beyond than what is expected and they are paid according to the time and work done. For instance my eldest my; seven years old, shoveled mulch for two hours with his father we paid him well it was hard work and he worked well. Paying pocket money is a personal preference and I see the idea behind paying pocket money. Ideally it teaches them how to handle money but for every day jobs that we do as a matter of clean healthy living shouldn’t require payment in my opinion.
Usually their is no back chatting and if their is we resort to who ever their idol is at the time currently it is Spider man. Often you will hear us saying I bet Peter Parker doesn’t speak like that to his elders and refuse doing a job and they usually get on with it however come back in five years and ask me how I am going that may have all changed; I’m not naive about teenagers. Having said that I’m hoping this training now is going to pay off. So far my boys are growing to having a good work ethic and jobs and chores are just the work before the fun. It can’t be all fun and no work or no work and no play.
We have always emphasised that nothing in this life comes free. Chores are apart of living of a healthy productive lifestyle and in the third world children doing chores is the norm. They start as young as they can and if they don’t do it their is a consequence for their action. If they don’t walk for the water they go without and those consequences are dire. I understand that is an extreme example but its a reminder for all that doing the dishes to out is not the same as walking three kilometres to draw and carry water for daily survival.
And your children doing chores in turn makes them smarter. Studies show that young children who take part in hands-on activities, like chores, develop the parts of the brain that are needed for more abstract thinking like reading, writing, and math. Having your kids do chores from an early age helps shape them into self-sufficient, responsible, well-rounded and well-adjusted adults. And studies show this. Research by Marty Rossman, a professor at the University of Minnesota, has shown that one of the best predictors of success as an adult is whether that person started regular household chores at an early age and isn’t success in any form what we want for a children.
So getting your children to do chores is not only to their benefit but yours too. So here are couple of tips I found helpful in getting my kids to do chores. Remember the early you start the less of a battle you will have I cant guarantee at twelve years old after twelve years of you doing everything for them that its not going to be easy. After all its takes around 21 days to create a habit 3-6 months to break one; just remember that. Thinking ahead the choice is yours.
Start early. Resist the urge to shoo your toddler away when they want to help. Give them a little task that would help you finish the bigger project. It teaches the collaboration and team work and shows them that by getting in a doing it together working together will getting it done faster. Starting early may save you screaming at them when they are twelve and thirteen and you wondering where the hell you went wrong.
Routine. Make it part of the routine and kids especially my kids (and me) love routine. You undress for a bath you put your clothes in the basket. You finish with the game you pack it away. You want to go play outside you make sure the play room is tidy. You finish breakfast you wash wipe and put your bowl away. Doing it as routine will include it as part of their daily life so as teenagers putting their clothes away will become as routine as grunting and slamming the door.
Offer praise. Tell them they did a good job and that you appreciate it. tell them by them helping you it made your job and day so much easier. Who doesn’t like to be told they have done a good job but don’t just save the praise for after a job as Dr Phil says catch them out being good more and tell them about it.
Just remember how ever your kids are still young and that not every job completed is perfect or in record time but that’s okay. they are still developing their motor and processing skills. All this is part of the bigger picture.
Some age appropriate jobs could be:
Ages 18 months to 3 years old
- Pick up books and toys
- Put clothes in hamper
- Help unload the dishwasher (take out any sharp utensils first!)
- Help sort and load laundry
- Help put away groceries
- Help clean up spills
- Water flowers
- Put a sock on their hand and let them dust tables and door knobs
Ages 4 to 5
Any of the above chores, and:
- Help make the bed
- Bring things from the car to house
- Help set and clean the table
- Pick weeds
- Help with leaf raking
- Help with simple tasks in meal-preparation
Ages 6 to 7
Any of the above chores, and:
- Make their bed on their own
- Vacuum rooms
- Keep own room clean and tidy
- Empty indoor trash cans
- Put their laundry away
- Sweep garage
- Sort laundry
Ages 8 to 9
Any of the above chores, and:
- Take pet for walk
- Make simple snacks and meals
- Clean the toilet
- Load and unload dishwasher
- Collect garbage and take it to the curb
Ages 10 and older:
Any of the above chores, and:
- Wash car
- Clean kitchen
- Change bedsheets
- Wash windows
- Mow yard (with adult supervision at first)
- Clean shower
- Make a complete meal
So having said that I am off to get a teenage girl who chores isn’t part of her daily routine to clean the bathroom wish me luck I just might need it.
xx Deb
Ps Want some chore chart ideas head here and here.
