the fifo wife

Warning this post has links to erotica and photographic pornography all reading is at your discretion however if its not your thing please close this post and come back tomorrow.

Please ensure your children are out of the room and your partner is in (or fly solo your choice)  just in case you are among the 90% that only take 2 minutes to become aroused when watching or looking at pornography or erotica as I now preferre to call it. Erotica sounds so much more classy don’t you think?

The last time I saw pornography it was when we were visiting my best friends cousin and it made me just a little prudishly uncomfortable. He and a bunch of mates were watching it together and had paused it rather than turn the television off when they realised they had a female visitor. I walked in and looked at the TV screen and the paused image of a woman mid orgasm which immediately brought to mind a couple of questions self-consciously my first was do we really look like that mid come? My second question that I immediately threw to the boys who sat sheepishly huddled on the couch like a bunch of teenagers caught with their first stash of porn. Why and really?  Whilst

Why and really?  Whilst it’s nothing to be embarrassed about the boys looked everywhere but me when I asked how is it that men can watch something so intimate together that’s meant to ‘turn you on’; if they aren’t into each other so to speak? I have always thought porn was a ‘toy’ to get you in the mood not just something to watch and pass the time with but you know different strokes for different folks; literally. Typically I never got an answer.

Typically I never got an answer.

Whether you watch it, read it or shop it pornography or erotica has its place in the world and it has been around since I couldn’t find out when but like it or not it always will be so why not embrace it?·Even just a little and what comes from erotica is good for you.

Even just a little and what comes from erotica is good for you.

It when used correctly (think Tiger Woods not so correctly) is helpful to any romantic relationship which in its self-has a mired of health benefits.  Good sex is good for you and your relationship. Erotica is just another way to have a little fun with something that can become a little routine. According to a survey of over 77,000 people by MSNBC, 34% of couples in long-term relationships have used porn to spice up their sex life. The French love it and they know about love· In 2012, a poll of over 500 French women found that 84% had watched porn, 50% of them on their own.

And given the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey us Australian ladies are getting into too. In 2009, Theresa Flynt, vice president of marketing for Hustler video, said that women accounted for 56% of business at her company’s video stores. We are finding our groove so to speak and with the internet we are making part of the everyday Neilsen Net ratings found that one in three Australian Porn viewers are women and they surfed the net on average for eleven hours a week with 13% of those women accessing at work..Ahem discretion ladies discretion.

So without further ado here is a little guide to erotica…

Books

This genre of books is also called “one-handed reading” I’m sure you can understand why. Gone are the days of just mills and boons publishers are now publishing countless titles Ellora’s Cave, Nexus, and Black Lace are among them. Storylines range from fantastical, some paranormal, some focused on S&M but all of them have one thing in common: lots and lots of very explicit sex. Romance publishers have now brought out specific series for erotic fiction. Look out for titles under Blaze, Avon Red Romance and for writers such as Joanna Lindsey and Emma Holly. Buy them online here, here , here or head to the shopping links below.

Web Erotica

I warn you this is pornography in a photo graphical form…children should exit the room. There are obviously lots and lots of sites but here are some of the ‘nicer’ ones..Romance Pornography., Girls love Sex too

If you don’t want to go buy the books and want to access online written erotica Sensual Scribblings is short story erotica.

For the girls  is a mix of video, photography, writing and shopping. The content of the site ranges from ‘soft focus’ to ‘hard core’. Whilst their home page offers a glimpse of what’s on offer any further viewing requires a membership.

Bright Desires This site offers a new and different kind of porn – new wave, smart porn. The aim is to move beyond the old cliche’s, boundaries and negativity of standard, old-style pornography and to offer something fresh, inclusive and intelligent..

Shopping:

The Sweet Spot I went on to their site when I was researching this post and loved them. I called them up and asked them if the knew any others and instantly I loved them. A woman answered the phone and was helpful just like their website said. They started the sweetspot because they wanted a shopping experience that was about fun to be fun and classy not feel crass and dirty. They sell beautiful lingerie. , toys, books and accessories. Have a look here and see what you think

www.loverouge.com.au is an online store and has a boutique located in Sydney’s Darlinghurst offering a ranging of fantastic services. There website is beautiful as I imagine their store would be (I have not the opportunity to visit) and the services they offer are burlesque classes and pleasure parties. Who wouldn’t like to earn a little bit of the art of burlesque even just for themselves? More details here.

www.honeybirdette.com is an online and a boutique store with outlets across Australia. The website is beautiful and they offer and range of lingerie, toys, accessories and books. Or if you are in a location where there is a store then why not pop on in.

Here is to happy endings.

What’s your take on erotica? Do you have a favourite book, shop or site?

xxDeb

All research quotes from here.

 

 

Every one needs a hand to get where they need to go in life and there is no shame in having some support, some guidance its …how we learn grow and get places.

So starting today each Support Sunday will be different some FIFO specific others not as I know many of you are not FIFO.

Support groups can and will range from ADHD, RSPCA, Life line what ever it may be but it must make a positive difference to someone’s life.

So if you know of any groups that will make a positive difference to someone’s life message me and I make post the details.

Today’s group is Australian Mining Partners

Australian Mining Partners is about connecting with other partners and families with a significant other who works in the Mining Industry either residential, fly in fly out (FIFO) or drive in drive out (DIDO).
The purpose of this group is to ask questions, share your experiences and support other people and families who are in the same situation. Please share with us your successes and talk about your frustrations with other supportive and respectful members who understand what its like to have a mining partner in the house.

Face book details are here. This face book page is a closed member’s group and you will need to apply to join however this is for your own security something we should never under estimate.

xx Deb

We are in countdown mode this week don’t panic its not four weeks we are on a short swing of three weeks. Husband is home for four days before going back to work for four weeks, its to sync in for a new contract. He is however meeting me in Sydney where I am going down to the Kidspot master class so we can have a night or two together before then making a mad dash back home where he will soak up every single bit of kiddy goodness my boys have to offer. My mother is flying down to be with the boys so I am able to go.

I am so fortunate and grateful to have such a supportive family. I am so looking forward to seeing him and my mum. The excitement is crazy.

So here are the few things this second week of May.

1. I am getting ready to do a cook up of freezer meals so my Mothers doesn’t have to cook its the usual sauces but I am on the hunt for some new stuff. Any suggestions?
2. I got a letter and present from a bloggy friend Friday. I savoured it until Saturday where I sat and read and devoured it with a coffee and toast. Thank you Miss Mez it was loved, loved, loved. Reading my mail on a Saturday morning even the bills is a ritual I love. Do you have any quirky rituals?
3. Yesterday was Mothers Day. I mowed the lawns while the kids played inside and when I came inside to get them morning tea they had put the dishes away and put the laundry on. If I celebrated Mothers day that would have been the best present ever but still it was the best present ever.
4. Prepare for a vent..My husband is dealing with a difficult girl at the office, its over a flight time, yes a flight time. I have immediately gone into protective mode. Apart from wanting to delicately slap her I want to remind her that it wasn’t her that has won the last two consecutive multi-million dollar contracts that help pay her wages it was my husband and his work mates and to cut him and his work mates some god damn slack. Give them the simple yes or no answer instead of the power tripping run around he doesn’t have the time to do because he is working his arse off keeping her in a job. Vented. Have you ever dealt with a difficult office girl?
5. Our new cat Charlie Black who was found dumped in the scrub has recently become fussy over the type of brand of cat biscuits he eats. Seriously I am dumb founded Friskies are a no go Whiskers are yes please with a chaser of only home brand tuna fish because I am sure the scrub offered the same smorgasbord.
6.  I have never ever said I wish I could be more mediocre but apparently one woman does read more here. If that’s her only dilemma in life I think she is going to be more than okay…lonely but okay.
7. This sign has two different messages for abused children one that they can see and one we can’t. Have a look at it here.
8. What do you think of Madonna’s fashion choice for the Met Ball this year; have a look here.
9. I am captivated by the American kid napping case. I can’t believe it. An ordinary house in a ordinary street for ten years.
10. I tried to dance like this on my treadmill..it didn’t end so well but it did end my run for the day.

Do you have any freezer meals that you can share? Quirky rituals? And dealing with difficult office girls have you ever?

So with than my sweets I have some catching up to do,

Can you give me some advice on how to achieve life balance she wrote ? I sat and looked at the email on the screen, the cursor blinking I drummed my fingers thinking the right way to answer because I didn’t know how to answer it correctly because I had only just sort of worked it out myself by accident really.

FIFO husband and I have been working together this way for thirteen years. Working apart and then when he came home he in his time off we both kept working. He mowing lawns and working the local fire brigade. Me I kept working with the kids, my store, and the house. Both of us never stopped. Ever. Both of us started working young he eleven years old and me thirteen years old. Working it was routine; second nature for us.

We worked to pay bills. To get ahead. To become ready for later when we were ready to retire. To have some play money. Play money that we didn’t use to play. We planned big holidays but never took them. We planned to buy more houses and that we did. We brought them but then what comes with that? More work. However having said all of that we were; are happy, really happy both of us loved working keeping busy but the work it was routine. It’s what we did. We did it together and with the kids so we must have it right then right? Yet as happy as we were something was not really right like trying to work out that missing ingredient in a pot of a really good stew; something was missing.

Now I could tell you what all the good websites and professionals would tell you to do and we did all of this. We planned; I’m the planner of the planners. To take care of ourselves we did.  We got outside help when we needed it. We learnt how make best use of our time; my husband started his wind down on the plane flight home and I make the best of bed time hours. We tried to switch off the phones but that is easier said than done and so we had a great four weeks be it with that little something missing but still we worked because it was routine and we thought we had it right.

But then we found it the mythical balance that missing ingredient we couldn’t quite put our finger on.

And the honest truth how we finally achieved this mythical work life balance came last Christmas as recent as 2012. We found it by something as simple as stopping; completely and we did it accidently on purpose. We just stopped doing everything well that’s a lie we did minimal housework enough to stop us choking on dust and drowning in dishes and laundry. We decided wall and window washing -all that could wait till it was cooler, when the kids went back to school. And the garden it developed a slightly overgrown fairy land appeal to which husband struggled with for a time but dealt with it by just mowing the lawn on his precious ride on. We stopped working simply because it was too hot to do anything. It was too hot to mow other people’s yards and there were thankfully no fires or car accidents so there was no adrenalin pumping or 2am call outs for FIFO husband. I closed the store and stopped writing for awhile. Husband stopped answering the phone for work. I minimised my face booking and although it was hard because I love the interaction it wasn’t for awhile.

Instead for those four weeks we slept, ate and played. We watched TV, movies and played with the kids more than ever. It was wonderful. It was our regular four weeks and they have always felt like a holiday but this time it felt like forever and it became addictive we have kept it up ever since.

We still work we have to it’s who we are and to some extent it still is routine but now come the four week weekend its truly tools down because it’s become a rule of sort and its weekend on. It feels great to get this right to work this hard it feels great to get this long lazy reward at the end.

How about you do you have it right this balance business? How did you achieve it? What are your rules? Do you have any?

Whilst I had the flu my neighbour made me this really simple soup that I couldn’t get enough of. Ordinarily I’m not a chicken soup fan but this is light and just perfect. Measurements are at a guess she is PNG taught this recipe by her Chinese friend so its become a bit of chinese whispers recipe and I’m not sure if this has everything in it as its seems to simple to be true. She then served it with rice something I never had before but loved it. I cooked it and it tasted the same so again all these measurements are at a guess.

Chinese Soup and Rice

What you will need:

10 cups of chicken stock

oil for frying

600 grams of cubed chicken your preferred cut (I use breast but any is fine)

A bunch of pak choy cut (add any vege that you like)

Spring onions sliced

3 garlic cubes roughly chopped

3 cm piece of ginger chopped

2 chillies sliced (optional)

1 tbs of kecap manis

Cooked Rice according to packet directions.

How to:

Fry off the garlic, chilli, ginger until aromatic. Fry off chicken until it just brown add chicken stock and kecap manis. Cook for 20 minutes and add remaining vegetables. Cook until vegetables are just tender. Add spring onions last.

Cook rice according to directions.

Place rice in serving bowls and ladel soup over rice.

Simple.

Add additional Asian condiments as you require.

xx Deb