Are you okay mum he said to me this morning.
He leaned in for a hug, and I said I’m tired.
He pulled back looked at me and smiled.
He went back in, and I started to cry not the full blown ugly cry but the thank you for asking me how I feel cry.
The truth is I didn’t sleep well, so I am tired, story of my life. I woke up this morning at 213am, and I don’t know why. I tossed and turned until I heard my husband’s alarm go off, then mine, then mine again.
I got up at 530am.
I sat down and had some breakfast while listening to my husbands tell me about his latest idea and wanting my input. He wanted to use my blog tag line, and it’s not often, but I said no. The blog is the one thing I have that is mine, and I don’t believe it was the right fit for his newest project anyway. Guilt for saying no set in.
He continued asking me questions, and I could see he was getting with frustrated me for not participating.
I want to help him I do. I’m proud of him the idea is a great one, but the reality is I’m almost full something has to give especially at 530 am before I have eaten my toast or had my coffee something has to give.
And I know I’m going to have someone snap at me oh but he works 28 days on but he also has 28 days off from his ‘job’ and I know his job is stressful. And I understand he feels pressure to keep the money coming in I know all of that, but this is my blog for women like me, and this isn’t anything against him. He is an amazing, kind man who will do anything to make my dreams come true.
Yet many women like me don’t stop working when their husband come home. He helps out, we are a team through and through and he is AMAZING. I am not complaining about him and all that he is done for us, but I guess what we forgot about for women. Us women and mum’s are as busy as chicken in a hen house. We have so much going on especially in our head its no wonder I often get out of the shower having just shaved one leg.
Myself alone I am currently working two jobs, raising three kids, running around said, three children. I am an entertainment officer come the weekend. I am the treasure for maintaining one house and several other investments while trying to ensure as much money is in the bank as possible because in two swings there will be no job. Doing it all while trying to ensure everyone gets what they want. The crazy part is I like being that busy I like being that full on but currently I’m battling severe anxiety which until yesterday was resigned just to my blog but as of yesterday that anxiety that overthinking the need to vomit spilled over into my everyday life which ticked me off no end. It made me angry because I have too many files in my brain open. I am tired of battling that little shit anxiety I liked it better when it didn’t have a name and was just a quirk but it’s no longer a quirk its anxiety and I’m tired of the way he dictates me. However its not about that its just about having to much going on too many balls in the air.
So I guess what can you learn from this? Whatever you need to but you can start with allow your wives to drink their coffee, have their toast before asking them what you think the new tag line should be for your great idea be.
xxDeb
