We were lying in bed the night before he flew out to work.
“What was the favourite part of your day” I asked.
“Today when you came into the shower…” he replied.
I don’t need to go into the details but there was a bit of wink, wink nudge, nudge that happened in that shower that day.
I flipped on to my side to face him as he lay facing the ceiling.
“Really” I said.
Now many would say typical man response. Sex; of course it was the favourite part of his day but my (our) sex life is not lacking. Despite the ribbing my husband gets from his work mates about his prudish wife; he and I do really well for a couple with three in your face never a spare minute boys or so I thought.
“Yeah” he said “it was spontaneous we have kind of become the same, same now”
I lay there in the dark pondering what to do with that comment. Now I should have reached across and “taken” him but typically I was tired and so I take most of the blame for the lack of spontaneity of late; for when he is ready I am not I am being mum or wife and not a lover and so he leaves me because he is a good husband, good father and even better lover. And so during the day there is usually a cue; wink, wink, nudge and off we go. And the wink wink nudge nudge it’s really, really great and when there are hours between school drop off and pick up its bloody awesome or so I thought.
So that night as we lay there instead of picking up on that cue and “taking him muttering in his ear come here then lover” I didn’t I flipped back over went hmmm and went to sleep. Yet that conversation and how I ended it’s been in the back of my mind since. Then last week I posted this and that comment of same same has been at the fore front since I read Mikes story. You can read it here but the gist of his story was he was an awesome husband and father. He thought their love life the same yet his wife wanted spontaneity she wanted excitement so instead of turning to her husband and saying hey it’s a bit same, same she had an affair. She should have told her husband what she wanted. There is no excuse for an affair.
Now my husband would never ever in his wildest dreams have an affair BUT I am taking that comment of same same and running with it out the door to my treadmill (for me feeling well means feeling sexy) and adult store. Because truth is this is a two way street it cant be one person doing all the work and our sex life whilst great use to be very spontaneous it was fun. Sex was a game that we both liked to play a lot and wasn’t something ‘we’ had to do and so this morning as we discussed the fact tomorrow is our anniversary of another crazy awesome year passed together I told my husband I am looking at having an affair and taking on a lover because thinking back these past couple of months our love life was routine and is a bit same same and I want that fun back with him.
Now the seven minute phone call in which I tried to blurt all this out was probably not ideal because it as a sat phone and I am hoping as we broke in and out that he heard right but I wanted him to know that I want something different with him. He is the only one I would have an affair with. I love routine in fact I thrive on routine but sometimes routines need to be changed up. It keeps things fresh and I value my marriage more than anything else. I value my husband more than anything else. So Im plotting planning getting excited because good sex as I know is so important to a healthy person and relationship and nothing comes without effort.
So I’m taking back my lover (him) having an affair (again him) because sex and routine are the only things that don’t and shouldn’t be mixed.
Slap and tickle well that’s optional.
xD
Ps. Will keep you posted about how I get on with my new lover…
