Dont just wait to crash she said we are here all the time just a phone call away. I loved her appreciated her for saying that but here is the thing we are a indpendent strong breed us FIFO wives. Most of us think we have ‘bought’ into this life style all of its ups and downs and so must do it alone but as I have learnt these ups and downs can happen for any one parent at any time not just us FIFO wives.
Often however through our own way of thinking that we have ‘brought’ this on ourselves and that we have ‘brought’ this lifestyle we cant see that it happens to us all but our way of thinking is a major reason for why sometimes we are on the slow burn.
So for our family and friends looking out for us FIFO wives, single mums and dad’s, stay at home mum and stay at home dad’s and working parents here are five tips to giving us and them a hand.
1. Dont say to us ‘if you ever need a hand with kids just call’. We will never call we just wont. We are stubborn that way the best thing you can do is just say Im coming for the kids have them ready by ten you will often be recieved with tears but they are tears of love and gratitude.
2. Just come and visit around epsecially on a weekend. Sometimes its to much effort for us to get the kids out and about and sometimes we get unitentionally forgottenabout during the weekend and on holidays. We know we arent someone elses responsibilty and people get busy and they lives of their own but as FIFO wives and mums we usually hate weekends; they drag. Weekends are the two days of the week when we usually dont have anything planned and yet we dont want to impose on your family time because we know how prescious that time is. However the weekend {especially in winter} is when lonieness sets in so drop by; just come on around. Just ten minutes will make a difference to our weekend; our a whole swing.
3. Call us. Im not saying everyday but every couple of days most of us are stubborn we isolate ourselves by accident and some of us including myself have this fear that something will happen to us and no one will notice. I can go a whole swing with no one but my husband and mother calling me both of them are over a thousand of kilometres away.
4. Dont let us go to events on our own; well not often. Sometimes we hate going to school, work and friends parties alone. Sometimes we hate being wall flowers, sometimes we hate being ‘alone’ so instead often we wont go. We feel guilty that our partners aren’t there or we are having a good time but ultimatly we need to go out to keep from being isolated and for our kids its essential. So rally with us it will bring to us a sense of coummuinty and family and that sense of both is essential for everyones well being.
5. Tell us we are doing a good job because FIFO or not as parents we are all doing a good job and we all need to hear it and not just when we are sinking and you think a buoy needs to be thrown. Just throw out there; it reassures us we are just like it would you.
xx Deb
{image source with thanks from here}
