How do you know when you have grown up she asked me. I looked at her staring not knowing what to say. If I tell her the truth that might just indeed disappoint her because currently the law states 18. At 18 you can smoke, drink, have sex and vote all very much adult concepts however when does one really grown up. I was 35 and if I honest I still didn’t feel ‘grown up’. I had more than more than my fair share of mortgages, I had three children, a husband seen and done my fair share of life I even had health insurance and a will but still I didn’t feel ‘grown up’ or that I was taken seriously by anyone.
Well I said I think it’s different for everyone I said to her. I think being a grown up is different for everyone. We were shopping and were in Supr. If ever you want to feel old and frumpy or a grown up just take yourself for a quick spin around their fashion floor.
I wanted to tell her the truth but to tell her I didn’t feel grown up at 18, 21, 30 and was still struggling at feeling ‘grown up’ at 35 may dish all my creditability. So instead I continued with its different for everyone. For me I didn’t feel grown up until later and for me it came down to confidence and feeling comfortable with myself and my decisions.
Feeling grown up is all about knowing your mind, yourself and understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around you I think I said. And no its doesn’t happen at 18 years old when the government has deemed it so. Having sex or a beer and being able to vote doesn’t make you grown up I said. You get to do it but your by no means grown up I said other stuff has to happen first. Like what she said? God I don’t know get your heart broken, break someone’s heart, get a job, loose a job, move out, pay some bills, buy your first car or travel overseas…become responsible I said..but then you have to grow up to be that.
Urgh is what she said followed by so when do you think that will happen she said. I looked at her I was not telling her what she wanted to hear which between me and her happened a lot but I remember that feeling wanting to grow up. I remember standing in my parents doorway scratching at the paint of the door step at 12 years old wishing I was 16 so I could drive. Then I closed my eyes and I swear I was tele-ported here. So why is when you are young you are always in a hurry to grow up? Its not always fun. Its hard work.
And because I thought she had not been listening and perhaps she like me was distracted by all the fluoro minis that surrounded us I said it again; growing up doesn’t just happen. It doesn’t happen overnight when you turn 18 but it does happen..sounding very much like the shampoo advertisement I remember as a teen I was resisting the temptation to swish my hair. You kind of sort of grow into it some early than most I said. So I could be a grown up and responsible when I’m 18 like they say she said to me holding up a pair of shorts I quickly shot down in flames…I looked at her. Knowing her as I did it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility but I said hmm I’m not so sure I said but you don’t want to grow up to quickly any way.
I went on to say but even when you are all grown up you still have moments of feeling like you have no clue and your 15 all over again…like today I am feeling ‘all grown up’ but yesterday it was like I was standing in my parents doorway wondering what the hell do I do now but I didn’t get to say it the moment had passed we had moved out of Supre and into a funky stationary store and started looking at a selection of pink jelly erasers. Which I grabbed two of because the reality is you even though at times you have to be all grown up you don’t want to be completely all grown up because there is no fun in that.
So what makes you a grown up? A will, kids, knowing what you want or not want? What do you think?
xxDeb
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