a fifo wife {fifo life: real life: ten stages of the FIFO workers homecoming}

We have a guest post today by the lovely Jane..

Jane is a stay at home Mum of a four year old. Her BH (Beloved Husband or Boof Head, depending on the day) has been a FIFO for as long as they have been together. He has worked on oil rig projects all over the world and can be away for up to 8 weeks. Jane considers this both a blessing and a curse; while he is away she does whatever she wants, whenever she wants. When BF is home, she has to be seen to be doing household chores. BF is currently working FIFO within in Australia due to the new foreign currency tax laws, the unfavourable US dollar exchange rate, the effect of long haul flights on his calves and a yearning to see his daughter grow up. Let’s see for how long the passport gathers dust, though….

The Ten Stages of the FIFO worker’s homecoming.

1. Relief. Thank God I am home. I am so tired and fed up. I just want to be home.
2. Elation. There are so many things I want to do! The world is finally my oyster! I can eat what I want, get up when I want. (…and yes, that big pile of clothes next  to the washing machine are clean but they smell like work and I want you to rewash them.)
3. Exhaustion. I’ll do all that stuff I have been dreaming about in my bunk bed for the last month after I have some sleep in my own comfy bed. Mmmmmm…
4. Bewilderment. Can’t you keep the kids quiet while I have some sleep? Where is everything? Where are my socks? How come all my stuff has been put in a pile in the shed?
5. Excitement. Ah! The shed. OK. What shall I do first? Oh! Might just call some mates first. Ah! Fridge is full. Might just have a beer and think about it.
6. Frustration. Where the f__k is everything? Where’s the bottle opener? I’m sick of tripping over all this kid stuff! Who put that stool there? Why are all the knives blunt? How long has that light been broken? Does anything useful happen while I am gone???
7. Anger. I work so bloody hard and when I get home all I do is tidy up after you people. All these bills, I may as well go back to work and you will be happy to see me gone. I just get in your way and cramp your style anyway, don’t I? (Someone will storm out of the house during this stage.)
8. Nesting. Alright. Maybe i just need to acclimatise myself and wander around the house for a while and put things away. I‘ll mow the lawn and see how everything has grown.
9. Acceptance. I am so tired. Just glad to be home, really. I think I might just ‘be’ for a while. Need to chill out. Sorry for being an arse:  it is a big change for all of us me being home, isn’t it? Might need another nap.
10. Contentment. Ahh, I’m home. Happy. What would you like to do together today, family?

Stages of the wife and family of a FIFO worker’s homecoming.

1. Relief. Thank God he is home. I need help with the kids and an adult conversation. Breakfast in bed would be nice, too.
2. Elation. We are a family again!
3. Exhaustion. I can finally relax now he is home. There are two of us to walk through life together now. No more living in fight or flight response, I can let go…
4. Bewilderment. Why is there so much washing now? Who is this person that has come into our home? He looks like husband and Daddy, but he is acting like he doesn’t belong here!
5. Excitement. All the stuff we can do together! Picnics, drives, cooking, invite friends over…
6. Frustration. Why doesn’t he want to do anything? Why is he always tidying up the shed and talking to his work mates on Skype? A little help around the house wouldn’t hurt you know. And what is this ‘I’d like a platter lunch served at midday, thanks?’ bullshit? And a coffee and snack at 930 is not called ‘smoko’ in this house!!!
7. Anger. David Attenborough makes documentaries about this primeval behaviour. For months I have been in charge of this household and you come in like a testosterone charged gorilla needing to reassert your authority as head of the household? Well, you are the head! A dick-head!!! (At this point, someone will burst into tears.)
8. Nesting. What is he doing? Why is he wandering around rearranging everything? I am too emotionally exhausted by all these mood swings to even question his actions. Might go for a walk. Ahhh, he’s having another nap.
9. Acceptance. My gorgeous husband is going through a period of readjustment after a difficult time away. I need to be patient with his moods and his needs, because that is how I would like him to treat me.
10. Contentment. Curled up on the couch with a glass of wine watching one of our favourite DVDs. Kid asleep after Mummy and Daddy have read stories and kissed her goodnight.

Thanks Jane,

x Deb