a fifo wife {fifo life: real life fifo: over thinking}

My husband called this morning and I retold the amazing tantrum my B1 threw last night. The tantrum was over some punishment I had dished out and he B1 thought it was unfair. Husband listened intently and when our time had come husband finished with a quip that perhaps wasn’t meant to be mean or taken out of context but it left me with ah come on really and then with the exchange of I love you, talk later and he was gone. What he said for the record was not aimed at me. It was not meant to be hurtful and perhaps his remark was an attempt at humour but at 5.10 am in the morning even the love of my life is not funny..sorry husband. But that (the quip) is not the moral of the post. Its the after the fact matter that is.

Now there are three problems associated with this ‘quip’ one its left a heavy feeling in my heart that it was said because I am not sure it is true or even necessary, two it has put a cloud on the day because it’s all of what I will be thinking about possibly blowing the whole issue out of proportion for the next few hours as I get the kids ready for school and the third problem which is completely out of my hands is I can’t call him and say what the hell was that about to lift this heavy feeling and stop what essentially will turn into over thinking about really something I know is very insignificant but at this point of sleep deprivation it’s not you know?

That’s the real trouble with FIFO and over thinking. We can’t just call and say what the hell was that about. There is hours sometimes days between contact. Then there is bad reception to add to the already growing mountain of frustration and probably the most problematic is often we or they are tired . So too much time to think, a cloudy mind and bad reception can turn a simple quip or remark into divorce proceedings.  A remark about how clean you keep the car is turned into your a terrible housewife or being told your time poor is turned into your a time wasting terrible housewife who can’t keep her house or car clean. See?

Over thinking and dwelling on insignificant issues I did a lot of when I was younger. I over thought a lot which then turned into such negativity in my head it was terrible now that I am almost all grown up it’s much less so in fact never now with the exception of now; Murphy’s Law. Over thinking which I must tell you affects mostly women around 52% of the population and typically it can have devastating effects for yourself and your relationships if you allow it. Thinking too much over such insignificant issues as remark someone made or a comment that you made I think comes down to age and confidence in yourself and your decisions and even though I’m thirty five on the rare occasion’s I still have issues of self confidence. Moments of self doubt that I am doing the right thing and it does not help when there is a ‘quip’ thrown into the mix.

What I have learnt though is that at thirty five I have the control over what I think about it is in my absolute power and so now I give myself time (if it’s that necessary) to think about it worry about it for five minutes and move on I don’t want to end up in a early grave over a quip some one has made. If I’m really concerned I will get a second opinion after all two heads are better than one, I will play the distraction game; taking myself completely out of the environment I was in or even better playing some music really loud and dancing really badly. Ultimately I will do something about it planning a solution; a next step and if it’s at night that the comment is made I go to bed and try; try being the optimum word and sleep. Everything is better after a good night sleep.

However it’s not night time right now and I have all day to think so I am off to the library to do craft (B3 not me. I am still no crafter) but in the mean time I am putting on a little Jay Lo and Rhiannon and going to run the crap out of the nonsense going on in my head.

How do you handle over thinking? Or you don’t.. 

xx D

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