About the wife.
Another blog? but its not a mummy blog. I think we can see there are many many of those and I’m far to selfish for that.
So Yes another one blog and to be honest my story is not much different to anyone else’s. I’m a wife and mother to three beautiful boys 4,6, and 8 years old so fairly normal huh with the exception that my husband is only in our lives every second month, we are a fifo family or in lam ens terms fly in fly out and Iam completely passionate about it and making it work.
We have worked this way for 15 years (we do four weeks on, four weeks off) and its great when its great and crazy when its crazy. I love the life it gives us but you are either made for it or not and that goes for your husband too. It will either tear you a part or bring you closer together, for me its been the latter and I’m so grateful I don’t say Im lucky because I don’t believe in luck; its hard work that’s all and I have been on that edge and its hard to crawl back from. Relationships can suffer with this lifestyle but relationships if not maintained right will fail FIFO or not.
I have had a tough time with this lifestyle and things are just starting to settle for me after having children yet I wouldnt have it any otherway. Having a melt down because you cant open the vegemite jar or having to teach your boys how to bait a hook we are normal different and the pros far out weigh the cons. Not many people understand yet we love it.
So a bit more about me. Im a only child. I live in a small Australian country town and love it. I love thai food. Im a quiet greenie. I try to be enviromental where I can but lets face it some times its just not practical. I love art and design. I hate asking for help I am independent to the chore but I have also learnt being too indpendent will isolate you people like to help its as simple as that. However I dont like to feel indebted to anyone. But I love helping people and giving things away. Love it. I grew up in Darwin when it was the last frontier. My youth was spent camping, fishing, crabbing and hunting. I love dogs and I have four resuce animals. I love my family and summer days spent by the water and winter days around my kitchen table. I love my home, my town and my friends. Im in love with my husband and I love and adore my children.
So I will be honest…this blog well journal may end up as a place to vent, boast as well as a place to journal all the things I find amazing, helpful and funny what ever its takes me to get through this crazy but fantastic life.
Welcome.
xx Deb
I know this is a late reply but how has it been?
Glad to have found your blog. I have met a guy online who is a FIFO worker and we have been chatting for a while now and have really hit it off. From what i’ve read about the lifestyle and challenges I think it’s something I could handle, however, he has the added challenge of having an ex-wife and 2 young kids with her. All the information I have found is about existing relationships or dating a FIFO bachelor, not how to date a guy who a) is away a lot of the time b) when he is home has commitments to these other people that take priority. Added to this is that I don’t have children, so would I be happy to (possibly) just be a part of their lives or would I eventually want kids of my own which just adds more challenges.
Guessing i’m going to have to have a conversation with him on how he thinks this could work and then figure out what to do.
It’s certainly not easy to navigate.
Thank you for messaging Louise I really appreciate it always!! I can only laugh at your retirement concerns!! They are mine too because Im not so sure he will cope with life for more than 4 weeks at a time.
I always love getting comments via the blog so thank you so much!!
Deb.
Hi Debbie
So refreshing to accidentally come across your blog. My husband became a FIFO worker (2 on 2 off) in the oil and gas industry way back in 1984. I met him in 1985 and were married in 1988, he was 24, I was 21. We are coming up to our 32nd wedding anniversary early next year and yes he is still a FIFO worker – it’s the only life I know. We have three adult children (girl 28, boy 26, girl 25 – yes three children in three years) and they are all strong, independent and career orientated adults so I don’t consider having a life of a part time father did them any harm. My only concern is when he retires (and there is no date set for that), I am going to have to learn to live with him for more than 2 weeks at a time?.
Take care and again so lovely to stumble across your blog
Louise
Thanks so much Michelle I will take that as a compliment and I so appreciate you writing and taking the time. Truck drivers and station hands were the original FIFO’ers and people forget that we are not the first to have a lifestyle like this.
I think I would like your mum and dad ..sound like my sort of people..;)
Stay in touch Michelle I always love a chat..
xDeb
Hi Deb, I just stumbled across your Blog, it is good reading. You sound a little like my mother used to, she is 86 now and still independent. I’m in my middle 50 s and grew up not quite in a FIFO family but very close. My father (who is also 86) was an interstate truck driver and was away anywhere between 2-4 weeks at a time and home for about 7-10 days . My mother had 4 chikdren . I don’t remember much about dad being away, I mostly remember how excited we were we he came home. I now know all the financial worries mum and dad had at the time but us kids were sheltered from it all. They are still so happily married and independant and so are all us kids. Mum said it was friends that got her through the tough timed. I hope you have a couple of them. Nice talking to you.
Regards Michelle.
Nov 2013
I’m not a FIFO but I’d like to be. So would my hubby but I think he has images of me losing it over the vegemite lid too:)
If like to learn more about blogging and came across this quirky Jo’s page. I love the way you write it’s so refreshing 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to comment sweet..it always makes my day and thank you for the kind words..its what keeps me writing..look forward to getting to know you…xxDeb
Hi
I just found your blog and website. So excited to keep up to date with you. My hubby has been FIFO for a year now 3 weeks on 1 week off we have a little girl. Its tough but we do make it work. Love your blog!!!
My pleasure and thanks Terri-Lee for taking the time to comment it always always makes my day and it keeps me going to be honest and you are right its does take a certain amount of dedication to live this way and you most certainly have to be ‘strong’ which is something I love..I love feeling capable and being able to do it as do many I think but making the move from Nz to qld is brave enough but to do it with FIFO as the other addition is courageous; well done. NZ is just magical and its a place I have come to love equally to my home here.
But I better get going Terri..the kids are a calling as is the husband..lol..thank you again for taking the time to comment..everyone that does so becomes a new friend and its something I am grateful for..you can never have to much of the right sort!
talk soon
Deb
Hey Deb,
I am new to this FIFO bussiness. I have been a FIFO wife for two years now, my husband got a transfer to QLD from his mine site in NZ. We have four children 10, 3 and 2 year old twins.
I am a stay at home Mum and I am just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has taken us this long to settle into this life style.
I love hearing about other FIFO Famillies and have many FIFO Mummy friends. I think it takes a strong and dedicated Woman to be a FIFO Wife/Mum..
Thank you for your Blog
Terri-Lee 🙂
Hi There Deb!
Now I will first have to admit, im not married but my Boyfriend is a FIFO bloke and im struggling with it. Only because he is on 3/1 and on his week back his friends decide to come over all the time, and we find it hard to have alone time as a couple! We really love each other and in a way it works for us, with me wanting to get ahead with my career and he is growing quickly with his. I just wanted some advice on how you as well as other wives/girlfriends/partners get through the weeks until their other halves get home? As I’ve only just got back into work, im hoping that will make the time fly butsome helpful hints and tips would be greatly appreciated! As this is my first serious relationship It’s harder seeing all my friends and randoms in the street with their loved ones and I get really down when people I know complain about their other half veing gone for a night or two, when ladies like us deal with them gonefor weeks at a time!
Im so glad I stumbled across your blog, Having someone who understands what it is to have your other half FIFO will help so much!
Rianna 🙂
Welcome Tania..yes that 28/7 can be a killer thats but doable for a little while and I will post something on facebook but also have you seen FIFO families web site? Head to the events section and see if there is anything in your area..chat soon deb
Hi Deb,
My partner has been doing fifo for 4 years, he was 16/5 at first which I thought was hard, then he went to 4/1, that’s when you realise what hard is!!!
I am studying Nutrition at Deakin Uni, so it works because I need the uninterrupted study time, but I still find it very very hard at times. I think the hardest part is seeing other couples together, out to dinner or just out walking, and also having functions (especially Christmas and New Year) and you are the only person without your loved one by your side.
Like you say there are definitely benefits that go with the job, it pays the mortgage which on one wage is not easy, especially in Melbourne inner suburbs, and on his week off we do get to do some great stuff, our kids are all grown so we have some lovely mini holidays.
I would love to hear from other fifo wives/partners in Melbourne as we are originally from country Vic and only moved to Melbourne for me to go back to Uni, so therefore I really only have a couple of friends in Melbourne. If anyone is interested in getting a support group together I would love to talk to them.
Cheers
Tan
lol..I know Jacqui I resisted along time and to be honest my personal face book page never gets used its merely there for the purpose of the blog..have a look at fifo families and mining family matters cant remember if I put that in last time..have a great Sunday sweet xxD
Hi Deb,
Thanks for your reply, I grew up in the Huon Valley it’s a short drive from where I currently live. Thankyou for the Facebook mention, but I choose not to be on Facebook. Which makes it harder I know.
I will definatley have a look at support groups.
Jac
Hi Jaqui..thanks for taking the time to comment its so appreciated! Congrats on the up coming bub it will keep you on your toes! You will cope just fine., Keep a routine, get help when you need it and have faith their will be days when you think you bill going crazy. Which never fear there has always someone who had been there and done that trust me I like you had no one but myself….I’m in regional Qld two hours from the nearest city with no family support to speak of..lol..but its made us who and what we are….a strong close self reliant family I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have put on the face book page a shout out for a group for you for a Hobart support….have you tried fifo families or mining family matters they are two great websites that offer amazing support.
Will you stay in touch every one that comments is a new friend and we can never have to many of them.
Take care sweet
X Deb
**just in Huon Valley have a few support groups I’m sorry I don’t know exactly where that is?**
Hi Deb,
I’m a stay at home mum to a beautiful little girl (14mths) and am 17 weeks pregnant with our second child. My husband is a FIFO worker in WA. We decided a while ago this is the lifestyle best suited to our little family, while they are young. I feel it’s taken me a while to adjust to this, I try and have my own life outside of the house, mothers group, friends and family. But other than that I do it all alone.
I have just come across your Blog and will be following with great interest, because we may be doing this for at least another year and I don’t know how i’m going to cope. It’s grat you have a Womens Support Group where you are. I don’t think there is one in Hobart.
Very Inspiring,
Thankyou,
Jacqui