Did you know he said that the bikini evolved because during world war two? They were needing to save on fabric and so they cut the middle of the women’s bathing suit out?
Ah, I said so fashion took a hit for the war effort. I did not know that.
No, he said women were undervalued. They were considered less valuable so naturally, them losing a bit of fabric didn’t matter and so they took a hit but they had an excuse it was for the wartime effort. Fortunately, women know how to turn things around. Well, that’s how I see it he said but you better check the facts on that piece of knowledge.
He had called me especially to tell me that piece of trivia, not his opinion, that had just come out of the conversation. I know how much you like the useless information he said.
It was in that moment I thought I’m a pretty lousy feminist and followed through with the deepest of pride that my husband of the two of us clearly was.
It’s not, however, the first time my husband has addressed such issues it’s just what he does. Recently B2 declared he would leave all the nappy changing to his wife when they had children. It was before I had time to whip my head around and address B2 on his skewed view on child rearing that husband had pounced on it, doing it for me, and then allowing us to do it together.
He often addresses me and the boys on women issues and I say me because I think often we (as women) are just so used to our world that its the norm. If we were to be a feminist family he is certainly better at it than I am but I’m not a feminist (yet) because sometimes I don’t understand the issues, I get confused at what the ‘fuss’ is about or like I said its just the norm but I like to think I understand the core values of equality; which ultimately what feminism is about and I just get on with things; which is I guess my term for feminism. I just get on with things and if you tell me I can’t I will show you I can. I hope that by being honest I will not be ridiculed because like everything in my life I’m a work in progress and this view may change as I get older and wiser.
And so we have just created humanist (I actually coined that phrase for myself for raising good humans without realising its an actual movement and lifestyle? because naturally, we can’t just be good humans without putting it into a container to make sense) with the silent unwritten rules we have created in our house that have evolved more of time and by the increasing amount of boys, we have had. Things such as there is no boys toys, no girls toys. No girls colours, no boys colours. There are no boy jobs and no girl jobs. There are no boys sports and girls sports. There is no sooking like girls or screaming like a girl because being a girl is not part an insult. There’s no boys being boys because that doesn’t make terrible behaviour okay. There are no girl clothes or boy clothes. In our house, there is just getting on with it. Being aware of others, their needs and how we can help regardless of their private parts.
So to me, my husband is a feminist and I’m proud of him for that but it’s me that calls him that. In his mind, as he raises our boys and addresses these issues he is just being fair and just two of his character traits I couldn’t be prouder of. He can’t see how he stands now for me and others will create change and equality at least for the women in our family to come which is a pretty good start.
Is this something that’s also in your house? Are you a feminist or nonfeminist family? Does it even matter?
xx
Deb
