The husband and I just came back from a week-long trip without the kids. If you are on my Instagram or belong to our amazing Facebook community, you would have seen our craziness in Japan, if not come on over. It was amazing to be able to spend one on one time with him not life interuption’s. The holiday was his idea. And as I cooed to my work colleague yesterday, I had forgotten how funny and compassionate he is. The holiday was a great reset for us because as much as we try the kids can take over.
Japan is the second holiday that we have taken without the kids. Our first childfree vacation was in 2014 to Paris. That trip to Paris was crazy good hard but I learnt a couple of lessons along the way; that made this trip so much easier.
For both trips I did a massive amount of planning before we left, and I found this time so stressful and guilt-inducing. Oh, the guilt. But I knew this time, that once we were on the plane, it would all be okay and it was the hardest part.
How to holiday sans kids.
Have a sitter you can trust.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for my mother we could never have done either of these trips. Ensure you have someone you completely trust to look after the kids. I know this is a no brainer but I know that mum can handle everything from a anxiety melt down to changing a tyre on their bikes. Someone just like you.
Be organised.
I may have gone overboard, but I created a massive calendar that I put up on the fridge. This had all of the boy’s activities and our emergency contacts for Nana on there; including the vets for the fur babies. I created it specifically for just the days we were away so they could count down if they needed to.
Love notes. This may be a bit overboard but the kids got a kick out of it and it requires your sitter being into it. I wrote love notes and clues to the activities that I had set up for the kids and my mum left them in places they would unexpectedly find them.
Plan stuff for them.
Now this might have been a bit control freak, but I created activites and planned things for every other day we were away. Each day they went to the planner and checked what they had to do. I created scavenger hunts, treasure hunts, arranged visits to the zoo, movies, jobs and even a overnight at a hotel in the city. It took a bit of work and Im lucky nana was cool with my level of instruction but it provided a bit of fun relief for everyone. Pintrest was my complete inspiration.
Don’t go too far from home.
When we first went without the kids, it was to Paris. The trip was amazing, but I wanted to leave a week early. Come day 12 we were googling flights home. If this is your first trip, I would recommend not going too far. So whilst Japan is another country its also just six hours flight from my home town. Choose a destination that works for you, a weekend away in the next town can achieve the same result if you do it right.
Phone home just once a day.
This was a tricky one for me and our first trip away was disastrous. I couldn’t talk to the kids at all, I missed them so much. However, this time was much better and they were older. I had also planned so much for them that I knew they were having a good time. I think also the shorter time frame helped also.
Be honest with them.
On our first trip away and again with our second we were completly honest with the boys that we were doing this for us as a couple. That our relationship needed this one on one time together as much as we needed one on one time with each of them. We emphasised so much that it wasn’t to get away from them but be together as mum and dad.
Buy them something.
When we went to Paris I brought them something from each place we visted.I quickly found that the things we brought meant little to them. This time we got them just one thing each, because whilst the gift was nice, it was us they wanted to see in the end.
Now how to holiday san kids only you can do there is no how to on relaxing, sleeping in, reading a books, getting intimate, learning new things, trying new things and cutting yourself some slack. Going on holiday without the kids is harder than it sounds. It all works, and everyone is better for it in the long run.
A big thank you to my parents for being able to look after the boys while we are away. None of this would be possible without them. I am so very lucky.
Have you taken a break without the kids? Any tips? Would love to hear about it.
xx Deb.
