In a 2015 New York Times article, data analysis revealed that ‘sexless marriage’ was the most Googled phrase for spouses, with 21,000 searches every month, even beating ‘unhappy marriage’.
For those curious what the averages ‘is’ because if we are all honest, I’m sure there have been some of us {myself included} wondering what’s ‘normal’ is in the sex department. Talking and telling the truth about sex isn’t something people are honest about very often.
The Kinsey Institute, however, compiled a research paper based on psychological studies and surveys completed in Europe and the US. They concluded that 18 to 29-year-olds have sex an average of 112 times a year, 30 to 39-year-olds an average of 86 times and 40 to 49 olds an average of 69 times a year. In Japan, however, a study revealed that up to 50% of marriages are considered sexless with couples having no intention of changing the situation.
Marriage is thought to be regarded as sexless when you have sex less than four times a year which currently to my ears is a great relief because currently what with three kids working full-time and running a household the husband and I we are in the midst of a drought.
So what do you do when you’re going through a dry spell, and the reality is everyone does. It’s the ups and downs of a partnership and parenthood. Because if kids don’t turn you off sex for months on and off through life I don’t know what will and sometimes it makes things tricky. Creates tension be sexual or not, however, a couple of steps to making it through.
Keep talking to each other. There is more to a partnership than sex although it does make it more fun. Talk about everything. I can’t stress that enough. I recall my ugly tired period with such exhaustion well.
Understand that sex is more than just penetration. It’s the whole flirting, dating, masturbating, foreplay shebang.
Work out why you stopped having sex and make steps to fix it. Make sure its, not a medical issue. Hormones, tiredness, iron, vitamin and mineral levels play such an understated role in our sexual function.
Appreciate and be kind to each other. I know when my husband has done something kind for me he develops a sex appeal that’s hard to resist.
The best advice, however, is just to have fun together because all droughts end eventually, usually in floods.
xx Deb.
{image with thanks to here content Debbie Russo}
