Did you know that this week was Men’s Health week?
No, neither did I until today.
Getting my husband to the doctors is like bathing a cat. It’s often necessary but painful, and while he doesn’t scratch the crap out of my arms, he does do it to my ears with his incessant whining that he doesn’t need to go. However, the truth is, and you know it as well as I do men need to take care of themselves both physically and mentally so they can continue being the excellent role models to our kids that we know they are.
So where to start?
Given that I am little late in making you aware it’s Men’s health week lets get the ball rolling right now.
Get your husband, partner, father, brother to have a full health check up. For those of us in the resources industry, this is often part of employment conditions and done by the employers medic- usually. However, it’s also usually once every two years or only on commencement of employment so make an appointment today for a full health check including a dental appointment for their next swing home and make it yearly.
I make my husband go every year in July – it’s the month he was born easily remembered to make every year, and I make it regardless of work related medicals. In that exam I ensure that he gets all appropriate test done, a skin check and a full set of blood works to check for any indicators of problems or symptoms they haven’t acknowledged yet. Don’t leave it up to them to make the appointment because often they need us to do it, and well they won’t admit, but they like it when we fuss just a little.
Please make sure you tell the receptionist that you want a full check up, so it will be a longer than the regular consultation time of 12 minutes. It’s courtesy to the others patients. Otherwise, you may meet someone in the waiting room who has lost all elements of decorum, as your unexpected lengthy appointment has put everyone an hour and a half behind. By telling the receptionist, it also gives you the opportunity to ask about cost because unless bulk billed it will be more than your average consultation.
Then once you have made that appointment, I want you to consider their mental health. Are they okay? Is their behaviour what you would consider normal? If once upon a time they didn’t drink, and they now do alarm bells should be ringing. If they have lost interest in sex, you can either; wipe your brow, or you can be concerned. If they are more cranky than normal are they okay? Ask them if they are okay? Have a conversation about how they are and what they want? Just ask them straight out if they are happy. Simple.
Sometimes it’s best especially if they are often cranky to pick your time when they are most relaxed and ‘happy’, they have a tendency to open up more. The best time I have learnt to talk to my husband is driving up the mountain range in the car or just as I am about to go to sleep. Notice I say “when I am about to go to sleep”- don’t ask me why that is, but he wants to solve the world’s problems in that time frame.
Asking how they are is a conversation you should have regularly not just when you are concerned, but some men are more reserved than others. Some men because of whatever reason believe men no matter what they are feeling should just suck it up and get on with it. Some men drink (excessively not just the regular tote after work) or dabble in drugs to help medicate whatever the problem is. The problem is, and most women know (I hope) that self-medication doesn’t fix something just prolongs the issues and creates a whole other set of problems.
Being able to suck it up or self-medicate doesn’t make them more or less of a man. It can often make them look like dicks which most often they aren’t unless of course, they are and then there is nothing you can do about that. You can try, but you can’t make a leopard changes his spots and so then all you have left to do is wonder what the hell you did there when you said ‘I do’. As we know each person responds to things differently handling stress, depression, anger and anxiety no one person is the same but head here to have a look at a set of symptoms that may help you know what to look for when we are talking mental illness.
So ask the important man or men in your life to be honest, because if they are not honest, we can’t help them.
Then I want you to do one more thing for me…promise me please..I’m begging. I want you to make a second lot of doctors appointments and a second lot of times for conversations about life, happiness and truth. Make them for you because without you {and them} none of this is possible.
Need some help call Beyond Blue 1300 22 2638 or go to the Men’s Health week website here.
xx Deb
