I wasn’t always such a happy person. I wasn’t always optimistic. I always liken myself to someone who knew everything, had a staunch opinion and if it wasn’t working out to my liking the whole situation whatever it was just shit. I’m probably being hard on myself, but that’s my way.
I remember the day you could say I had made the final transition to the continual bright side because despite my husband having left for his first offshore job four days after our baby was born {and baby then requiring surgery at eight days}. I was tired exhausted, on to week five with no end in sight and yet I found myself telling my neighbour that it was okay. It was an opportunity we couldn’t miss and I was so happy despite all of that.
I remember my friend saying to me gosh you have such a good attitude about this.
I looked at her and said there is no other way to see it. The words had come out of my mouth before I had a chance to think {so common for me} and I was proud that I had seen the glass half full idea – finally.
The old me would never have said that, or I could have been deliriously tired, but I think it was a the change for me.
The swap to the sunny side came about organically after a consecutive deployments and peacekeeping trips that were both particularly hard for both husband and me. So I can’t actually tell you how despite what the title of this says. I don’t read self-help books. I have no patience for lessons that way. I’m a learn along the way type, learn the very hard way type. I did however came to understand energy and what you put out you get back and it may not be immediate, but eventually it will come back to you and yes I wear deodorant and shave my legs on occassion. I also learnt that seeing things in a better light a positive way made life better naturally and so I think I became a better person {at least in theory}. I was open to things learnt things understood things I liked myself more.
So how do I stay so happy 90% of the time (because no one can be happy 100% of the time it’s unrealistic and boring) even when the shit has hit the fan, Murphys taken out residence on my couch and my last trip to the hairdresser has left me with a mullet these tips are how.
1. Focus on the positive. Looking on the bright side always. I focus on the fact I can walk, talk and toilet myself. I have a home and healthy children. I concentrate on what I have done rather than what I haven’t; I’m not dead yet. Besides you live longer when you focus on the positive stuff. Research has shown that when elderly patients were convinced that their health was poor, they were much more likely to end up in the hospital than those who were convinced their health was excellent.
2. You control your thoughts. After I suffered my ‘depression slash exhaustion bout’ I understood that if I wanted to win beat my sickness I had to be wanting to. I was I am in control of the thoughts in my head. You are in control of your thoughts. That’s not to say I don’t think negatively I do on occasion especially when Im day four of having a little sleep but even through the haze I understand I am in control of my thoughts.
3. Learn from mistakes and setbacks. Learn to own them. There is no shame in making a mistake. There is always a lesson in something. Be it about myself, what I am capable of or situation presented. You can always learn something. A bad day is never a bad day; it’s a day lived.
4. Be grateful for what you have. I have everything I need and all that I have ever wanted right at this very minute. I don’t require the latest gadgets or the latest fashion it doesn’t make me feel better. I have healthy kids, spunky husband and a home that’s in a country free from war and terror what else could one want? I am grateful for that every day and it’s what makes my heart sing every morning.
5. Hang out with the right people. Sometimes easier said than done but its where you have to make an effort to avoid toxic company and situations. I don’t have a lot of friends those that I do have I treasure with all my heart. I learnt through trial and error who was good for me and who wasn’t and it’s not because of anything in particular. I just learnt that we didn’t do good things for each other and that’s something that is important for the both of us.
x Deb
{Content Deb Russo image with thanks to here}
