Husband went back yesterday it was a hard month. I wrote about it here. I don’t like the days following drop off after hard months. Last month was a hard month. Getting back into the swing after a difficult month whilst rare I know its hard and it fills your head with doubt that your ‘okay’ when really everyone FIFO or not has hard months.
In the days after drop off with months like these, I find its hard to get traction. I over think. Like should I feel guilty about not being sad about when he leaves for work. He doesn’t its a switch that goes off usually for the both of us but on hard months it is not so easily flicked. Does that make us odd? Or does that make us strong.
I miss him but this is our choice it is our working week our weekend will come so we are okay right? We just need to keep talking right, yes that’s right just keep talking.
Still after 15 years I do this its fleeting tomorrow it will be gone and I will be all composed and stuff.You are allowed a ‘grief period’ but not for too long, too long is bad for you. Bad for the kids.Bad for me. This was our choice. Our choice to handle the gone part. I am stronger than the gone part. I am part of the team that makes us us.
Traction found.
Next swing is a clean slate with lessons learnt.
xx Deb
