Can she sit with you Deb, John asked.
Of course I replied.
She sat sinking back hard into the chair, looked at me and smiled.
John darted off back through the crowd leaving his mother with me whilst he drove the car closer to pick her up.
I am Vera she said.
How are you Vera I said are you enjoying the move?
Vera had moved here on the request of her son, despite as she protested being perfectly okay in sunny Tassie.
No not really she said. I didn’t want to move but my son wanted me closer. I was happy where I was. I fell out of bed and had trouble getting back up and well here I am she smiled her eyes twinkling.
I smiled at her. Being a child of parents who live away from me I understand his position but also being fiercely independent I understand yours I said to her.
I am 81 she said with a heavy sigh.
So she said slapping her hands on her thighs what you do apart from this she said sweeping her hands in front of her at my market stall.
Hmmm I said I have three boys and I guess I said I write.
And what do you write? She asked raising her brows so they arched above her glasses.
I have a blog I said and I was just about to explain the theory behind the blog when she said “I see, I follow a few of those tell me more.”
“It’s not much really I just write about my life what I have learnt being me a mum and the wife of someone whose husband works at sea.”
She smiled again ‘tell me more’ she said and so I did because she had a face that said I’m listening.
It was on finding out my husband was defence and then asking about FIFO she started her story with a hmmm and her blue eyes beaming.
Turns out Vera was a nurse and a naval officer’s wife for the Royal Navy from 1941 to 1969 in the UK and then longer once immigrating to Australia.
In those days she said they would do what they call showing the flag and he would be gone for 2 years at a time travelling all over the world.
Would you see him at all in that time I asked. She looked at me smiled and said no.
How would you keep in contact I asked her?
He would call every six weeks or when he ever he got to port and no letters. And usually they didn’t arrive for weeks the news old so often there was no point and often they got lost.
How did you cope I asked? I worked she said as a nurse as soon as I could after the boys were born. I went back to work. Had a house to run boys to raise. If you are going to live that life you need something of your own.
And did you know that was how life would be when you married? I asked. Of course she said we spoke at length him and I and he spoke with my parents, you don’t into marriage blindly she said. I knew his job would always come first.
And you were okay with that I said? Of course I loved him it was part of him she replied I knew it would always be the case and even when we got to Australian he was retired but the Australian Navy approached him and well it started all over again.
I couldn’t get enough of Vera and so asked how did the kids cope and being raised by a sole woman.
Good, she said they have gone onto be well independent men and they had a good relationship with their father. They would talk often as teenagers she said it was good.
She smiled widely as she told me about when her son John was two years old and her husband was in bed having arrived during the night. John walked in saw him in their bed and told Vera to get that man out. John didn’t know who the man was because he had left just days after John was born. She laughed at the memory while I smiled at her blase of the awkwardness that must have brung.
And can I ask how was your marriage was I asked after all that time apart because that’s a long time. We just got on with it she said. We loved each other and were happy. Took the good with the bad. Bad with the good. It helped I was independent and had my work you need that she said again.
The subjects changed after that to her nursing career and how her son John had gone on to be a nurse before changing careers. John arrived soon after that helping Vera to the car and her slapping his hands as he reached for her elbow.
Independent I think until the end.
xx Deb
